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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Child maintenance question

36 replies

nothercules · 04/01/2007 22:44

My db has recently split up with his girlfriend and they have one ds. SHe has already moved out with the ds and the split is amicable. He is going to buy her out of the house and stay there himself. He is currently a student with an income of 1000 pounds a month and should have a job end of academic year. She works full time and child goes to nursery full time.

All nursery fees are currently paid by benefits plus I assume she gets tax credits on top. They have agreed that he will contribute to clothes, shoes etc and she says she is fine with that as her mum is wealthy. She is buying her own place.

My question is can they simply make an arrange between them without him officially paying maintenance. I am assuming she will claim single parent thing for nursery and tax credits.
WOnt they go to my brother in order to claim some of this back?

OP posts:

Twinklemegan · 02/02/2007 08:36

Can I just ask one thing of you all? When problems arise with money and you're using the CSA please try not to blame your ex's, unless they've always been cr*p anyway. The CSA treats the absent parent appallingly too and it's no wonder many men avoid dealing with them like the plague.

helrhy · 02/02/2007 09:40

I agree with you Twinklemegan, before the CSA got involved we had agreed the figure and we were very amicable but once they got involved it caused all sorts of arguements right up until we managed to convince the CSA we didnt need their help.

nightowl · 02/02/2007 17:43

that's fair enough twinklemegan but i am referring to a complete arse of a man who left me pregnant for no apparent reason and has never even bothered to see his child who is now three years old. i gave him the option of sorting things out amicably and he declined. i cant vouch for everyone else of course and i know the csa can be sods when they want to, i think most of us are already well aware of that

Twinklemegan · 02/02/2007 22:15

Oh Nightowl - I know some men can be sh*ts. It's just I get so angry when items in the media for example, and the CSA's rules come to that, seem to tar all men with the same brush. My DH and I have suffered from ridiculously high CSA assessments that he literally couldn't afford to pay. And before the new letters, the assessments always used to say the money was for the support of his ex because "children need carers" - FFS! Anyway I just came onto this thread initially to offer advice as I've done so much research on DH's behalf over the years. I don't want to tread on toes so I shan't continue to harp on about my grievances. But God I HATE THE CSA!!!

glitterfairy · 03/02/2007 12:03

THe CSA have taken over a year now and still not managed any kind of assessment on my X who in 18 months has managed to contribute the princely sunm of 2k towards his three kids whilst making everyones lives a misery.

I think everything is fine where the non resident parent tries their hardest and makes payments which are agreed but where this falls down it is an absolute nightmare and often leaves the children on the poverty line.

THis governments greatest failure in my opinion is to fail to protect children from falling into poverty because a parent fails to take their responsibilities seriously. All parents should try to provide both emotionally and economically for their children. It is immoral for a parent to neglect to provide for their children.

The system is ok if the parent works in a normal way but if there are any variations it is rubbish. In any case it is not the parents who really suffer it is their children.

I am sorry for any of you who have suffered through having to make payments which are crippling you but the people who do not pay and cannot be made to pay outweigh those cases three to one.

amyclaire85 · 03/02/2007 14:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

kiminutter · 11/02/2007 18:15

Yes amyclaire85, the CSA are truly useless! My payment for December was taken from my ex husband, they just didn't allocate the money to me. I rang 5 times to try and get someone to sort it out, they had tried to cover it up by paying my November payment in two lots! As if I wouldn't notice being 300 quid down! The official excuse is that they have a backlog of payments to allocate from November! WTF??
Oh, and in total I am owed around TWENTY THOUSAND POUNDS in arrears since 1998 when I first put in my claim....

nightowl · 12/02/2007 03:22

well the csa have started paying me X amount every week. i have no idea why and wasn't aware of it until i received my bank statment saturday. it's not from ds's dad as he has stopped paying maintenance (long story but mutually agreed).

dd's dad is supposed to pay me an amount every week plus arrears but its much more than the amount i have received (it started three weeks ago according to my bank statement). he has paid so far, only most of the amount he owed me from 2004/2005, in lump sums here and there due to bailiff action.i've been told when he finishes paying for that year they will put a liability order on him for the next...so on and so on.

here lies the problem. i now work part time and claim tax credits and a rent rebate. maintenance is classed as income and the council need to know if my circumstances change. i've phoned the csa and they have no idea why they are paying me this money!! if i declare it to the council as income, they will put my rent up and then for all i know this money may stop....if i dont declare it i'm going to be in trouble when they find out. you have a month to tell them about any change in circumstances and its already been three weeks.

im going to be in big trouble

thanks a bundle csa.

ThisValenTime · 13/02/2007 19:14

How can they not know why they are paying you it!

I would honestly tell the council as there is a thread ongoing at the minute of an MNer who didnt indicate a change of circumstances and got called in.

I know the money may stop and then you have to tell council the whole scenario again but it better than having an interview under caution. I would hate for someone else to go through what the other MNer has goen through.

Good luck x

maycontainstress · 27/02/2007 10:00

My exh has wound down his payments from what we mutually agreed 3 years ago, between the two of us, to a third of that now, if at all.

He has always insisted I'd be better off on income support and he'd have less to pay. I fully believe he is forcing me into leaving my job and going on benefits because I simply cannot afford to bring up our DTS alone without any monies from him.

I am enraged about this. He swans about with his gf and her DDs whilst he watches us sink onto the poverty line, to make things easier for him.

I don't know what to do next. I'd never stop him from seeing the DTS (for the LO sake, no-one else's), but I feel I have no choice but to make us lose everything.

I am not eligible for legal aid and the CSA are beyond useless.

I am only asking him to make a contribution to bring up the DTS, which is far, far less than half of what it costs to bring them up. I have no idea how he can hold his head up.

nightowl · 01/03/2007 02:09

maycontainstress, your ex is wrong. he will have to pay the same through the csa whether you work or are on income support. if you are on income support he will pay no less, i take it he doesnt realise this?

the calculation is based on what HE earns, not what you earn. the only difference is that on income support you will only receive £10 of what he pays. dont fall for it, you'll be no better off.

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