Home alone at 8

[thaigal]

My sister has started to leave her 8 year old son in the house on his own for an hour a couple of nights a week so that she can go to a keep fit class, she has nobody else to look after him. He is quite sensible and be trusted but am I alone in thinking 8 is too young, even if just for an hour?

It's not against the law. It tends to be a cultural thing. In Germany children of 5 and 6 often walk to school alone whereas in the US leave a baby asleep in your hotel room whilst you have dinner downstairs and you might get arrested. I've left the twin 7 year olds whilst driving a bigger child to a station but I wouldn't leave them to go out for an hour but I think it's one of those issues within a range of normality we should tolerate differences in view. Personally I think 10 would be better as an age to do what she's doing and depends on the boy. I wouldn't say it was so bad social services should be informed for his own safety however where as if he were 5 I would.

Agree with Xenia.

I think it probably is a cultural thing -- I grew up in Germany, where 6yo children walking to and from school by themselves was and still is the norm. Leaving your child at home when you go out, or letting your child come home from school to an empty house are both culturally acceptable.

This topic does raise hackles on MN every time it comes up there are people who've said they wouldn't go out to put the bins out, or to get shopping out of the car with a child asleep upstairs, which to me feels slightly hysterical. I started leaving the children while I nipped down the road to the shops when they were about 6 ds aged 7 will plead to be left at home pootling about with his felt-tips rather than come to the bank with me. Although in fairness he usually has 11yo dd1 at home to keep him company. He'd love to walk to school by himself as well -- unfortunately there is a busy road without a manned crossing between us and there, which I don't trust him to handle. But if it was all quiet backstreets, I'd be okay with that. Dd1 and her friend were walking to school unaccompanied from the beginning of Y5 (ie. age 9).

As long as you have basic ground rules, the chance of problems is pretty remote: no answering the door, no answering the telephone, don't touch the cooker or anything you wouldn't normally be allowed to use (knives, tools). I wouldn't leave a child against his or her will I usually give them the option of coming with me but at some point they do have to learn that the world is not unmanageably frightening without an adult next to you. Bear in mind that most children will be expected to make quite long journeys to secondary school by themselves from the age of 11 -- here in London that may well involve several changes of public transport. I can't help feeling that the children that are most likely to make bad decisions in that situation are the ones who've never had to cope by themselves before, rather than the ones who've been given gradually increasing doses of independence over the years.

I am about the same as you frogs,(writing from G ermany too!).
My children do stay at home by themselves for short periods, by their own choice. You have to give them rules though, and ask them what they would do in certain emergencies - you may be surprised at the answers you get at first!

Your right there is no law as such with regards to leaving a child alone.

it is quite subjective but i personally would be concerned if it was a regular thing and there was no one else around.

if he was in the house alone but the nieghbour was keeping an eye out i would have felt a bit better.

I know its an hour so i can't see anyone making a complaint about it but if they did she could pretty much be certain of a visit from social services as they really wouldn't be happy about him being left for an hour so that she can do something that isnt really important.

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Thaigal - as Amanda1 has suggested, couldn't you babysit for her? I'm assuming she is a single mum? - in which case she needs some time off...

Something in the Times today suggesting 10 as a minimum from Child Accident Prevention Trust . Perhaps you could subtley mention it to your sister.

Havent read full thread, so sorry if im repeating anyone! At 8, I would bring them along armed with a book or two, maybe homework. they are old enough to sit at back and amuse themselves. thats what i do with dd who is 3!

I apologise for this if it sounds rude but what the hell is your sister thinking? Of course 8 is too young as most other people have said what if there was an emergency and heaven forbid it happened to be serious and something happened to him she would never forgive herself and then as someone else pointed out she would have a lot of questions to be answered!