Going to see a solicitor on Monday. How do I prepare?

[verystressed]

I am not a lone parent yet, but have made an appointment to see a solicitor on Monday regarding a possible seperation from my husband.
I have tried everything to make my marraige work, but have now started to accept that things will never change & I need to make plans.
I know I have to take my marraige certificate, passport & a joint bill. Is there anything else?
H doesn't know I have made this appt & I am finding it all really hard.
Can anyone give me any tips on how to get through this & what I need to ask, as I cannot think straight atm.

Oh, you have been very strong VS. I'm impressed. Keep up the good work.

Legal aid depends on YOUR income and expenses if it's for a divorce. They will look at what you have left after all your vital expenses that YOU pay have been paid. This is the figure they base it on. You may qualify for a certain amount of hours work and/or legal aid itself which is basically a loan to be paid back when you are in a position to afford it. I still have some outstanding (well it did take nearly 2 yrs!!) but am under no pressure to pay it back, just yet.

Do check they take legal aid too as many don't as I found out. See if you can find one that will offer a free 20 min consultation too as it can work out very pricey otherwise. Try to avoid giving them your home address (use a friends? work?) if you haven't actually split yet.

They will likely guide you oer that first appt but you need to think about what it is you want to an extent. I.e. divorce? hoping to stay in the house etc? Good luck, you're doing the right thing.

Thanks, essbee. God I am naive to all this!
They have my home address, but I told her to mail any bits to my work address only.
Oh well, I may be v skint this month!!

VS, you need to check whether your solicitor holds a legal aid franchise for family work. If not, then you will be treated as a private client. You may be entitled to legal aid if you work, it very much depends on the level of your income. You may be granted legal aid, but have to pay a contribution every month.

Check out this side of things before you take matters further as you may want to change solicitors. They should in any event send you a very detailed letter setting out their charges before doing any work for you.

Thanks Freckle.
She is sending all details to my work. I don't mind paying out this month (so long as it is not over £200), but cannot afford mega bucks atm, so may have to look around for another one.
I work, but only for 20 hours a week & I am a TA, so my wage isn't great.

VS, have you decided what you are going to do? Are you going to file for divorce? Separation? Or are you just gathering information to protect yourself? Did you tell your sister?

Good luck with whatever you decide.

The main purpose of yesterdays visit was to find out the facts.
It is all so daunting atm.
Divorce itself seems a HUGE step & I cannot take it all in. I think it would maybe be better to try the seperation first, but I dont know.
Don't think I could afford a divorce just yet either!

Haven't told my sister about all this yet, although have talked through how fragile our relationship is.

Why the heck did I ever think it was a good idea to get married?

Usually the only reason to seek a legal separation rather than a divorce is either because you have religious objections to a divorce or you haven't yet been married a year.

The whole process is very similar to a divorce and can take just as long and cost just as much. The only difference is that that married isn't dissolved so you can't remarry.

Once you've got your head round the whole issue, it would probably be better to file for divorce rather than a separation, tbh.

Thanks, freckle.
I was thinking along the lines of seperating before filing for divorce. I wouldn't go for legal seperation though.
I don't know - everything seems so big & scary atm & I cannot take it all in.
Divorce seems like such a HUGE HUGE step atm.
I only have 4 weeks to make my decision with the solicitor that I saw & my head is all over the place.

Verystressed, don't feel pressured into anything. There are lots of solicitors who will talk to you (if you want them to) in 4 weeks or 4 years.