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Lone parents

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Original poster

How much maintenance does your ex pay?

42 replies

Kerelene · 01/05/2006 13:52

I have just been wondering how much maintenance you receive from your ex-partners. Mine pays me £60 a week for our 6 year old daughter and in addition we go halves on all major costs such as school uniform, ballet lessons, school dinners, etc. We have come to this arrangement amicable without ging through the CSA.
A friend has told me that he should be paying more but I don't know what is a reasonable amount. What do you all think? Would be interesting to do a straw poll on what maintenance you receive if you are happy to tell me.

OP posts:
supakids · 04/05/2006 22:10

wayhay,this thread could be a can of worms, here we go........ my dh pays 1000 a month for two kids! Sorry but its a bit much for any reasonable person to bear!

LittleSarah · 04/05/2006 22:14

He pays about 15% of wages (as stipulated by CSA) although we didn't go through them, £40 a week.

Certainly don't agree with singledad, my ex does not pay for me to live but to help me look after OUR child which I do for 10 days out of 14 to his 4.

fattiemumma · 04/05/2006 22:19

£1000 a month!!!!

wow, if mine paid me that much it may have been worth the 6 years of hell

7up · 04/05/2006 22:20

ds1 dad pays bugger all. ds2 dad pays £100 a month voluntarily but csa say he should pay £68 a week. i phoned them today to ask when id get a payment and they said they couldnt find me on their computer. say no moreAngry

supakids · 04/05/2006 22:24

Yes fm and claiming the old family credit and working a part time job AND still moaning she wanted more, greedy guts!
7up dont you give up those buggers have been giving my sister the run around for years, I contacted the local MP in desparation to help her and the eventually found her file on somebodies desk in IRELAND!!

singledad · 05/05/2006 00:27

wow, £1000 !!! knew i should have found myself a rich wife Wink
in truth tho, didnt expect her to support me when we were together, certainly couldnt when she'd gone - dont suppose she would have shared my view if things had been the other way round

Lulabye · 05/05/2006 23:41

Kerelene. It does depend on how much your ex earns and also your circumstances. I was a full time working mum (forced back to work when DD2 was just 10 wks old - due to ex's infidelity) and he paid me diddly squat. However, I lost my job last June and because I am on income support now, the CSA got involved. He pays me £136 a month for our two children. Absolutely no other contribution! Don't quite know how CSA came to this amount, considering I know his salary, at the time of them getting involved, was huge and no way was £135 pcm 20% of his salary (less the first 20% they ignore for the fact that the new wife has her own two kids from a previous). I think it sounds like you're doing OK - but as WelshBoris says, it does depend on what he's earning. Work on 15% of his salary - if you know what that is. If £60 is a lot less that 15%, then go to the CSA - but be warned, he may stop being amicable and stop contributing towards the other things. The maintenance is, in theory, meant to cover his contribution to your daughter's food, housing, clothes etc etc.

singledad · 05/05/2006 23:57

am still amazed at this maintenance lark, must have been dozing for a year or two

SandyR · 26/05/2006 19:38

Nothing for first nine months (we split up 1 month before DS1 was born) because i was being "proud and independent"!!! and then after he went to lanzarote for four weeks and bought himself a landrover and an ipod and tons of other stuff whereas I was managing on £10pw to feed, clothe etc. (and he refused to give me the £500 his dad gave him to put in DS's savings account for Christmas) decided to swallow my pride and ask for some money. He gave me £600 last week to last until October.

flutterbee · 26/05/2006 19:49

Can people please try and aim there insults about the CSA at government legislation and top civil servants who approve the legislation and not aim it at the poor sod who doesn't earn enough money to deal with these shitty cases and only does it because they have to get a damn job because there ex isnt paying them maintenance either.!!!!!!!

SandyR · 26/05/2006 20:44

flutterbee, it must be difficult working for the csa espec if you are getting no support yourself. i'm sure none of the comments were directed at CSA personnel personnally. I've had no dealings with the CSA themselves but the DWP people have been fantastic. it really is the individuals that make a difference.

glitterfairy · 26/05/2006 21:26

I get no help whatsoever and havent since he has left despite various solicitors letters. You are right flutterbee but the CSA needs to be re thought by the government as things like the inland revenue seem to work. When they want my xs cash they get it no quesitons asked!

They (CSA) have been looking into my case for six months now without a sniff. Because he is self employed it is apparently difficult and because he is paid in dividends that makes things worse.

MrsPotatoHead · 26/05/2006 22:01

My x has recently inherited about a million. Lives alone in a 5 storey georgian townhouse in the West End of London, and has 'retired' in his early 40s.
The dc's and I live in very small, rather damp bijou rented accomodation, and live in terror of him cutting off maintenance as since we were not married, he only has to give us 20% of his income, which since he has given up working - he has none!

alligator · 26/05/2006 22:24

Trust me it doesnt work on the other side either. My partner always paid what was asked by the CSA on time and also did his best to sort out anything his kid needed but then he lost his job and the CSA 'lost' 3 letters that he sent to them telling this. They are now demanding that he pay 6 months worth of maintainence even tho he was earning no money during that time. He is now a SAHD (which he loves) but still feels incredibly guilty that he cant pay towards his sons upkeep because if he did get a job we would be about £200 worse off a month and wouldnt be able to afford to eat and the really laughably thing is I'd actually be better off (finacially) as a single parent rather than us living together as a couple.

cheltenhamgal · 30/05/2006 18:03

£0.00 Angry in the three years since he walked out

muma3 · 30/05/2006 18:21

dd1 father never paid a penny til she turned 8 /. he was suppose to pay £127 a week . he conviently changed jobs and now we have had 2x £20 since jan. she hasnt had contact since then either , not because he hasnt paid but because he has a drink problem.

dd2 father pays £145 since the day he left me nearly 4 years ago. he is great father and i respect him for it .

muma3 · 30/05/2006 18:22

i would rather dd1 father shoved his money up his arse and leaves us alone but there isnt any org called justice for mother and damaged children

sorry bit bitter about this subject Angry

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