Frugal babes - how do you make ends meet??

[MrsMiniver]

I take home around £1,000 and live in a lovely house with no mortgage (so I know how lucky I am). Don't get any child maintenance from ex, DD is 11 and growing so fast her shoes only seem to last her 5 minutes. Her dad gives her his time but doesn't buy her ANYTHING - unless it's from a charity shop! He refuses to contribute because I get the child benefit and tax credits. Having said that he has to budget very carefully himself but it does make me cross. It was part of the reason we got divorced, moths used to fly out his wallet when he opened it :(

Don't go out much, don't buy clothes for myself very often, but I'm eating into my paltry savings regularly to just make ends meet so know I'm living beyond my means. Does anyone manage on this sort of income and how do you do it? Or am I just crap with money?

Difficult to say without knowing the ins and outs (which I don't want to know btw!) but regardless of tax credits surely exH should be paying some sort of maintenance contribution?

That aside, it's down to clever budgeting/economising wherever possible:

Try to walk/cycle instead of using the car whenever possible
Make sure you're getting the best deal on phone/broadband/gas/elec
Make good use of the freezer for economical meals etc
Shop cannily, don't be afraid of lidl/aldi for bargain groceries
Buy presents etc from cheap shops/charity shops can be good for this

Make a budget for the month and stick to it rigidly, it's surprising how much money just 'disappears'

As shmoz said, the fact that you get tax credits and child benefits has absolutely nothing to do with his responsibility to pay maintenance for his child.Have you applied to the CSA for help? He should be supporting his daughter financially.

The moneysavingexpert.com website is a brilliant place to get ideas on budgeting. There's a discussion on it at the moment which may be helpful here.

what shmoz says

look at all your outgoings and cut out anything you don't need such as extra channels on cable TV etc

I direct debit all utiliies so don't ever have to pay large bills, during the summer months my gas/elec account goes into credit so I sort of pay the big winter bills in advance iyswim

decide a food budget for the week and stick to it, we eat a lot of eggs when running low on money!!!

take lunch to work, packed lunch for dcs too

cook most things from fresh, as its cheaper

have friends round to dinner rather than go out

shop for clothes at TK max

I never use same brand washing powder/dishwasher stuff etc, just use the one that is on special and buy double if possible.

it is hard but doable,

do treat yourself occasionally to a night out etc as we all need a break sometimes.

good luck

Does anyone live on the same income as me? (bearing in mind no mortgage).

Thanks for the budgetting tips ladies. Ex has no income to speak of so going to the CSA would be a waste of time.

Think the hardest thing is trying to explain to DD that she simply can't have that lovely pair of pumps in Clarks but maybe it'll be character-building for her as well :)

Hi SC, yes it includes all the government stuff. And I do know I seriously need to go through stuff and stop feeling like I'm not in control.

My own budget (dh pays all utilities, keeps my car on road blablabla & we have no mtge) is 1500pm just for food, diesel, coal, logs and pocket money and I never have any left at the end of the month.

How the hell to you keep 5 ppl on 1k pm?

Hi MrsMiniver

Yes I have (and do) live on a similar amount to you with 1ds and no mortgage.

I know I can't allow myself to get into debt so keep very tight hold on my purse string. Ds doesn't go without though, but I frequently do.

I never rarely go out socially, if I do it's always with ds to do something together and often involves using tesco vouchers or taking our own food and drinks to keep costs down!

Clothes I am lucky in that his grammy has always sent things for him which has made it a bit easier, but I also have had hand me downs from others and I always pass things on too. I don't buy labels, just whatever is cheap and rarely get myself stuff apart from what I need for work. For work I have 5 t-shirts (1 a day), a winter and a summer skirt and a cardigan. I work 5 days a week but I remind myself I'm there for my brain, not what I'm wearing!
It is embarassing having to turn down social stuff when literally have nothing to wear is the least of your worries! Xmas party at work is always difficult :(

I budget massively and do not spend anything unless it is allocated to that budget. I used to be on income support and lived on a lot less that so really appreciate having the luxury of a small amount for clothes for ds a month now.

I also have to pay childcare out of that money for school hols. So I only have a cheap PAYG mobile, no cable/sky and the house is falling apart.

I do get a small amount of maintenace from ex though. I have always used this for extra luxuries for ds because I never know when it's going to stop without warning and have always looked on it as his monet. So I use it for weekend breaks and holidays, wii games, swimming and music lessons that kind of thing. Not essential stuff that would be easy to stop if/when he misses his payments.

My budget works by listing all the stuff I have to pay and working out what it is for the year. I put into a savings account every month what I calculate and then pay the bills when they come in from that savings account (though you may find paying by SO or DD works better for you - I don't trust DD enough and am anal about keeping everything how I want it so I know exactly where I am).
I update my budget every year based on the most recent bills. I never reduce what I put aside for things but try and build up a bit of money against each budget it I can. For example I can now pay 6 months of the water bill when it comes in rather than paying 1 month at a time because I've overbudgeted by £1.50 a month for the last 5 years.

Work out exactly what your income every month is including everything you get (salary, WTC&CTC, child benefit).

Do you have any debt you have to factor in? I'm paying off my sofa and computer each month so I have to take that into account in my budget.

Then your essential outgoings - council tax, electric, insurance, phone, water, tv licence, internet, car costs (insurance, service, mot), childcare.

Then look at the variable costs which you have to spend on each month - petrol/travel to work, parking, other petrol (social/shops etc), food, other items (like school dinners, gifts for birthday parties, cash in your purse, pocket money, phone top up), clothes/school uniform. Be realistic in what you need to put aside for these. I also budget an amount for xmas/birthday.

Tot it all up and see what the difference is. Adjust your budget if you need too. Mine balances to the penny!

One of my biggest expenses is petrol to work. I'm spending £50 a week on that alone. If I could find a job closer to home I'd be so much better off but we live in a rural area and jobs out here are few and far between.

Another budget 'trick' I use is that the WTC & CTC get paid every 4 weeks. So you get 13 payments in the year. I budget for 12 of these and the additional payment I allocate to emergencies. So when the washing machine broke, the kettle blew up, I had to call out an electrician when the water heater plug melted (which happened on friday ) I had money budgeted for it and didn't get into a panic.

There are cheap ways of doing most things. Our local cinema is £2.50 a ticket, £1 for popcorn and 60p a drink. My friend goes to an early morning cinema which has a special family deal of only £1. It's half an hour drive from her (hour from us) though so have to factor in the petrol cost. For us it's cheaper to go to the £2.50 cinema.

I get shopping delivered now rather than going myself. Saves time but also the petrol costs to go to the shops is more for me than the delivery charge (we live in a rural area). I've taken up a deal of a fixed delivery amount a month (£3.99) for as many deliveries as I like in the month but they have to be over £40. I keep bread in the freezer and get top up milk when getting petrol if I need it.

We also have an annual visitor cards for our local zoo which is cheper than going 3 times a year. Assuming we go once every main school holiday (we go more than this) it's saved me money. Tesco vouchers can be used for annual membership on some things as well as one of visits.

I'm actually feeling quite flush right now. The recent changes to the tax threashold and WTC have left me about £10 a week better off. It's making a massive difference to us. I had a bbq for friends a couple of weeks ago which I could never have afforded before.
I know it won't last though so am enjoying teh extra now but don't expect it to last more than this year so paying my sofa and computer off as quickly as I can too!

GillyBean, you're an inspiration, thanks so much for taking the time to share your experience with me. And SC too, hope it all works out for you.

I think a big part of it is being able to say no to people who think you can just have lunch, go into London etc at the drop of a hat. Being able to say "thanks I'd love to but I just can't afford it at the moment" is hard because you worry about being stigmatised but I'm sure it brings freedom with it. Doesn't help when all DD hears from her classmates is that their dad has just got the latest iPhone/iPad or whatever but I do want her to know that life isn't all about posessions.

EXH left me and I have a good salary.
I shop on line and use quidco - nice to have this little money back at the end of the year for pressies. Every sale for kids clothes and I buy next years trousers t shirts etc and store them, I use vouchers for everything and am amazed at how much I save.

Started eating my meals off DCs plates - I am 7 kgs lighter in 6 weeks and £100 richer. I needed to lose weight but childrens protions are excellent and I am not hungry.

If you live in Bucks and need a steady stream of boys clothes I have loads!

Thanks onlyone, unfortunately it's a girl!

hi, not sure how manage wih me and the three boys. We dont have alot but we manage...one thing i do is never take my cash cards out with me. i only ever take the amount needed for that pint of milk or loaf of bread. its hard to always have to say no to the boys though but they really enjoy treats when they get them x

I have found ebay to be a good source of adult's clothes. My entire outfit today cost £7 and that included shoes (new from asda) and Armani jeans.
I do most of the other tips too
it's probably more difficult to live frugally but happily in a city tbh

I'm on my own with one DS and a cat, only get £12.50 maintenance per month and once the rent is paid we manage on about the same as you, perhaps a bit less. There are lots of ways to make your money go further and I second joining the MSE forums, as they are full of good advice.

The main thing that's making a big difference to me is shopping at Aldi. I used to spend £35-50 per week at Morrisons but a few months back I started going to Aldi and now spend £20-30 per week. I sometimes need to buy a few bits from another supermarket to top up my main shop but I'm saving loads. In fact I've saved so much that I've managed to pay off my overdraft and a credit card in the last couple of months. I also do a lot of batch cooking, so I'll cook curry, chili, sausage casserole, pasta sauce etc and will make plenty, then once we've been served, put the remainder into tupperware containers and freeze. You can take out a portion in the morning so it's defrosted by the tea time. I also second the person who suggested taking packed lunch to work - if you buy a Boots meal deal daily for example, that's almost £15 per week (assuming they are still £2.99 - haven't bought one for ages). If your DD has school dinners change her over to packed lunch, and that will save you around £40 per month.

Look around to see if you have anything to sell on EBay. You'd be surprised at what sells so don't discount anything without going on and checking completed listings. If you purchase anything online make sure you go via a cashback website. MSE has full details of how these work but it's really simple and you can make loads of money. For instance, I got £60 cashback on my car insurance last year, and have just bought my contents insurance for £86 and will get £45.45 cashback once it tracks, so that makes my contents insurance less than half price.

Other things you can do include cutting down on or stopping luxuries, so no DVDs, magazines, gym membership, expensive days out (Alton Towers and the like). Go on comparison sites to check you're getting the best deal on your gas and electric and if not, change suppliers. I did this towards the end of last year and my gas & electric combined payment reduced from £98 per month to £63. Despite the very cold winter I'm in credit on both accounts, so was clearly being totally ripped off by my last supplier.

I buy most of DSs clothes at supermarkets. Sainsburys is especially good as the quality is decent and the clothes are quite cheap. Don't discount charity shops either - nothing wrong with them and you can get some fantastic stuff for yourself and your DD, plus books etc.

Finally, please do apply to the CSA. Even unemployed fathers should be paying £5 per week, and if you're struggling, the smallest amount will help you out.

SKWK, I have a cat too - but she's quite cheap to run! I like the idea of shopping at Aldi but the nearest one is quite a drive away so I'd have to factor in petrol. Might still be worth it though. I know I could be more disciplined about buying/preparing food so will start stocking up the freezer.

Ninah, my one thing about eBay is what do you do if things don't fit? I'm not a typical shape and like to try things on!

ps Kitty, what's MSE please?

MSE is Money Saving Expert. The forums are a bit confusing to navigate, but it's well worth perservering. You could try the Debt Free Wanabe board as it's full of money saving info, and the Old School Money Saving board for ways to save money on food etc. But have a browse and see what you think.

do you have sky/cable. because lets be honest. you dont need that. it is another expense that is completely unecessary. there is ALOT of freeview channels now. and if you have sky, and just cancel your package then your sky box will work as a freeview anyway. just need to programme the favourites to save you searching through hundreds of channel numbers for the freeviews.

you dont need a contract phone either. those 18-24 month contracts cna often see you paying for the phone 2-3 times over what it would cost you to just buy it outright and get a sim card payg

if you do have a contract, call up and say you cant afford and want to cancel. they will offer you a cheaper rate to keep you from leaving and going payg.

also, i find its cheaper to provide the childminder with meals for dinner than it is to pay her to cook it. and i just send whatever is on the £1 deal in supermakret. be it fish fingers, chicken breasts.

with sizing on ebay I tend to stick with brands I know my size in, or take a risk if it's 99p. sometimes they give quite precise measurements. I'm a fairly generic medium, however and I go bigger rather than smaller as I like stuff loose.

Meal planning has helped me save money- I mostly cook from scratch, so I think about what I need for each meal and buy ingredients for those meals. It means that you only shop once, rather than popping into the supermarket several times in a week.

Get used to writing a list and only buying what is on it, unless the 'fantastic deal' can substitute something else on your list.

Also things like own brand value (tesco value/ Asda smartprice) tins of tomatoes or baked beans are just as good as the named brand stuff, but 20p or so cheaper. It may not seem like a lot, but it all mounts up!

FairlyLightsForever the only thing I would say about own brand baked beans is that Heinz branded beans include vitamins and suppliments in the tin while the own brands don't (last time I checked at any rate).
So for an extra 20p you are boosting the iron etc intake which, if it is only 20p difference, makes it worth spending the extra in that one specific instance.

We're vegi and ds is a fussy blighter thing so getting iron into him by slealth matters to me!

But everything else is pretty much the same I have found.

I've just done the budget planner on Money Saving Expert and what an eye opener - shows how much you need to put by every month for the like of presents and going out. Will be much more disciplined about how much I spend on these now.

Not panicing so much now; I think facing up to it, writing it all down and not least posting here has helped enormously. Went shopping wth a friend at the weekend who takes out £50 cash every month and puts it in a jar for clothes.
If she doesn't spend it, it just accumulates so she ended up with two pairs of lovely quality shoes.

Things you can do. You don't have to do them all.

Do a budget and itemise all your expenditure. Sell your telly, DVD player, stereo etc if you have a computer. Cancel any subscriptions: cable, magazines, catalogues. Buy everything on eBay or in charity shops and put a cash limit of £5 per item (including p&p) so you're not tempted. Only buy underwear new. Cut your own hair. Grocery shop online, with a fixed limit (suggest £50/w for you) and make it a challenge to meet it. Plan your meals. Eat frozen veg. Buy generic. Get a slow cooker and learn about lentils. Every month, find a way to reduce an outlay. Switch all your utilities. Sell your phone. Get a library card. Sell your car and get a bike. Defer all purchases for 30 days. Don't go on holiday. Make your own washing powder. Sell your tumble dryer and buy a sheila maid.