Correct Child Maintenance Yes-or-No Poll. Just trying to find out how often it is not paid.

[Maelstrom]

My ex is paying the correct child maintenance for the income he reported, which it is significantly lower than what he actually earns but I don't have the will or inclination to go through months of abuse to try to get the extra pounds DS would get if his father's real income was used for the calculation.

I know that at some point, the government had plans to enforce a better calculation of child maintenance by using NRP's income as reported to Inland Revenue, rather than trusting the good will of parents to be honest about their income.

So, I am wondering if my case is in the minority or if there are enough resident parents out there experiencing the same problem. If this is a more common problem than it should be, I wonder if there is potential for it to become one of the "Mumsnet causes" (that is asking for Child Maintenance to be calculated according to income reported to IR)

So the questions are:

1. Do you get the correct Child Maintenance according to CSA calculation?
2. Would it be better/easier/fairer/less damaging if the CSA used IR records to automatically calculate child maintenance?

My ex has paid regularly since we split up, though last month it was a bit short. He pays about £100 less than he should and says if I go to the CSA he will leave his job and I "will get f*ck all" his words. I manage ok so don't want to risk it tbh.

Its so funny that these men think that every penny they pay is actually being spent on shoes and handbags, its like they have a mental block to the fact that this money actually pays for bills and food for THEIR kids.

I believe it is actually primitive that these men are not forced to pay for their kids. As though society has not moved on at all, like they are bloody chimps or something that don't need to be brought to account for the children they have. No-one seems to care, its just accepted. Makes me so bloody mad!

My family seems to think I should be grateful for whatever I get and accept that I will not have "nice things" because after all I am a single parent who couldnt keep her marriage together. My parents are well off and do help out for which I am grateful but they offer second hand stuff and really cheap clothes for the kids, which is fine because that is what I do for myself and the dc anyway but it pisses me off that they seem to think that this is all we deserve, in our position. I hope people get what I mean by that and I am not coming across as a spoilt brat. They would never do it for themselves but for me and the dc it is fine because of our "situation".

1. Yes (although I suspect he has had a pay rise and I need to address that).
2. We don't use CSA, private agreement

Wow shimmery your post has made me realise I apply that outlook to the dc and I should aim higher,real food for thought

1. Yes I think its maybe a bit higher amount

2.Private agreement

I am aware of how I am in a minority, We should have laws like in the US or is it Aus where they just come down like a ton of bricks on guys who dont pay up. its not a lifestyle choice for them

My Mum has actually said to me "well there won't be any holidays or luxuries now but you'll be ok". Why the fark won't there be? Are my kids to have a grey, joyless existence now because I am a single mum, I have to accept my lot and place in society as a frugal single parent because of my failed relationship? My kids are going to Disney Paris this year. Good deals on atm, so affordable-ish, kids go free etc, if I save my ass off it's doable.

There is a place assigned for us single mums by society but me and my dc are not staying in it!