Single Mums a threat? :)

[HappyWithLife]

I've found that since becoming a single mum I am viewed somewhat suspiciously by some women who are either in a relationship or married. At the same time it seems that some men view single mums as 'gagging for it', and think we're fair game.
For example, a man I only met once but who had my number because of a business transaction, text me recently after our one and only meeting (his wife was there too) to say he was bored in his marriage and could we indulge in some mutual fun? WTF??? I was flabbergasted.
At the same time, women tend to cling a bit tighter to their partner's arms when talking to me, as if they fear I am going to pounce on their man just because I must be desperate! I know this isn;t just me as I've talked about this before to single friends. So what are your tales? I for one have found that I am far more discerning now, and have set the bar much higher as I'm sure most other single mums have.

i spent yesterday hauling old sofas outside and then taking delivery of a sofa that needed putting together and was apparently a 2 man job.

i did it. hard, but satisfying work and noone there to lose their temper or make it stressful. my dad would've helped if i'd asked/needed but i'd rather do it myself.

i'm pretty attractive, slim, young looking for my age and with a sharp tongue when needed. i've had some pretty angry responses from men since i've been a grown up and don't hold back when someone is harassing me.

i do think strong, independent single women are both threatening and attractive which is a good combination for getting some weird arse responses from people, men and women alike.

i have a couple of friends who are married but it isn't their identity so we get along fine however mums and tots classes etc around here were a nightmare as everyone was so 2 dimensional and dull, they'd sit around talking about what their husbands do for a living and what conservatory or extension they were planning. it was all so dull and unreal.

sometimes i must confess i'm put off of this area of MN by the feeling that so many women are desperate to bag a man and i just can't connect with that. i don't need a man therefore i'm ok on my own and can afford to be incredibly picky and therefore single

I agree with SGB's post. Single women make a certain type of controlling, bullying man feel very threatened. Also of course, some women who know their marriage is totally shit feel a bit uncomfortable when face with reality that it is possible to leave. Braver women than they have done it. Or they think that it might remind their husband that splitting is an option perhaps??

This all fascinates me. When I was married I never found single women a threat.(Although with hindsight that could have been because I was hoping someone would take him off my hands). But seriously, it never made me feel uncomfortable. I think there might be a lot of truth in your viewpoints that it reminds women that they're not brave enough to leave an unhappy marriage, and let's face it...it really does take guts to go it alone.
Wallows, I'm like you. I don't need a man and am perfectly happy being single, more than happy actually, I love it. That's not to say I don't miss certain things, sex being one of them, of course I do. But I have become extremely picky having had several disastrous relationships, so until someone comes along who ticks all the boxes then I'm happy to be single. My list, by the way, isn't necessarily built on physical attributes, but rather the way a man is IYSWIM?

valium...I couldn't agree more. I was in a relationship with a man some time ago and he couldn't bear the fact that I was independent. He was a controller (although not in a bullying way but it still made me run for the hills) and it somehow diminished his sense of masculinity that I didn't need him. But I have been through so much crap in my life which I have had to deal with alone that it's made me fiercely independent and that way I don;t have to rely on anyone or thank anyone for anything. I also know that, having gone through what me and the kids have, we can deal with anything and still come out the other side standing, and we do that alone. It's so so true that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.