Walthamstow - please reassure me.

[user1489573685]

We live in Walthamstow and a few years ago we decided to move out of London to Hertfordshire, Cambridgeshire or Essex. After spending over two years looking for a house we had a choice out of two. One in Essex and one in Walthamstow. For some reason (which I can't even remember) we choose the house in Walthamstow. From the day we moved in I knew it was the wrong choice. We have lived in this house now for two years and I can't think of a day where I haven't been filled with regret and anxiety to the point that I've made myself very ill. We've spent a ridiculous amount of money on the house and it is still a mess. I want to move out but now I don't think we'll be able to. It's March. We need to put in secondary applications in this September for my daughter. Unless something miraculously happens, I need to come to terms that I'm going to live here until my youngest finishes school - that's another 10 years at least and I'll be almost 60 years old. I can't bear the idea. I feel trapped and like I'm wasting my life away. In the mean time all of our friends are moving out and it's getting lonelier, especially working from home. Please, don't post anything negative - I know I sound ungrateful and dramatic but is there anyone out there that has any positive words about Walthamstow? Do you have a good experience bringing up teenagers here? What do you love about living in Walthamstow as a person in your 40s? Please, I need to hear from you right now.

Sounds like you need to go and have a glass of wine (or 3) at Walthamstow’s lovely and very own urban winery. The only winery in London is right on your doorstep.

Great wines and lovely people! Go and enjoy!

https://www.renegadelondonwine.com/

You can even do wine tastings at the weekend and they also do food. I live in Whitechapel but I’m very jealous you have Renegade nearby. So that’s one big tick for Walthamstow from me. 😋

I grew up my whole life in east london, I lived in leyton most of my adult life which is just up the road to Walthamstow. I remember frequently getting the W15 bus to Walthamstow. The area is really what you make it. There's some great up and coming shops and restaurants, you've got the village, Selborne Walk, a tube station very close by as well as national rail. In my opinion I remember old east end Walthamstow but my last visit I can see it is becoming gentrified a little.

I don't think there's anything particularly awful about it as such.

It would be a faff and probably expensive but I'd rent out the Walthamstow house asap and move to wherever you want to go and rent there. Then sell Walthamstow when you're ready. It sounds like your mental health is badly affected so maybe see your Gp too? Once you move out, you'll know whether you'd like to be out of the area or not. There are much nicer places in London too imo.

Absolutely! So much is going on there!

I’m so jealous of anyone living in Walthamstow. There’s also the Walthamstow beer mile, the wetlands. And there seems to so many good events going on in that big warehouse!

could you join a running club or something to make friends? There’s always people of different ages. And I’m sure you will make friends with mums and stuff at daughter’s new school.

I loved living in Walthamstow- lots going on there and good transport links. Lived there for twenty six years
where would you be looking to move to?

We moved out of London 10 years ago to a home counties commuters town and I regret it!
It's very boring, very white, very safe. Nothing really going on.
We have friends living in Walthamstow and I am always extremely jealous whenever we visit their house. So much going on, so vibrant.
Tbh I think you and me both have a case of the grass is always greener!
I think just focus on the positives like I have done.

What exactly is it that you’re worried about?

Walthamstow has so much going for it and is a really sought after neighbourhood! You’re not going to be spending time being a taxi service to your daughter in the Essex countryside, and she’s going to have so many opportunities by living in a big city.

You’ve also got the entirety of London on your doorstep!

When I moved I went to Essex and I cannot tell you how much I missed Walthamstow

What don’t you like about it? It’s very similar to a lot of other areas in London. Did you want to be somewhere more rural? I think you should move if you feel so bad about it, no amount of drowning your sorrows in local pubs or picking up fruit and veg in the market is going to stop this feeling. What do you want from a different place?

I think I feel very low because I was thinking of moving out for the last 5 years but it never happened. Then I saw a beautiful detached house I loved in a small town - we didn't buy it because we didn't know what was happening with my husband's job, I wasn't able to drive because of medical reasons and I thought I would have a job in London and so we bought this terraced house in Walthamstow. Two years on, I'm still working from home, my husband has a job closer to the other house and this house which is much smaller than the other, is costing more than we can afford. Our bathroom is currently ripped out (we have a shower room) so we need to find some money to get that done before we can even consider putting the house on the market. I move around in a very small area because of school drop off and working from home - it's Groundhog Day. I feel like I need a change of routine and scenery. I always imagined growing old in a quieter place with a little more green where the children can frolic around without me worrying. I've been in Walthamstow since 2011 - 14 years. A lot of people we know have moved out the area in the last year. It feels like they've gone to bigger, better things and I've been left behind. I'm in my late 40s so it's daunting knowing I have to stay here for a minimum of 10 years whilst my children are at school. I am stuck and I can't see a way out. Again, I apologies for moaning. I know there are so many more problems going on out there and I should practice gratitude. This is just a good platform for me to get other people's perspectives whilst staying anonymous - I'm very much, completely alone with no one to talk to. I'm fed up of waking up from crying in my sleep for the last two years and something needs to change. I also want to say thank you to all of you that replied. I appreciate your kindness and positivity.

Possibly outing but I did this the other way round - lived in Walthamstow for ten years and then moved out to Hertfordshire. The benefits and disadvantages of moving felt very finely balanced to me (DH was all for it). We’ve now been here almost as long as I was in Walthamstow for. I’d say it took 5 years to settle.

I love having a better house in a nicer neighbourhood than we could have afforded in Walthamstow (or Highams Park). I like the greenery. We did find we had to drive as lots happens out of town/on the other side of town and public transport (buses) isn’t great.

Downsides: It’s not necessarily safer. I’ve been aware of more burglaries, car thefts and teen-on-teen crime here than I was in London. Also, I’ve found it harder to make friends. In London, it felt as though everyone was open to new connections - not the case here where lots of people are very rooted in the area. The schools are good but working out the right fit for secondary is very challenging as there isn’t one “obvious” option.

And the cost of commuting is astronomical. It’s like a second mortgage. So everything has its advantages.

I think you have two options: either do your house up to sell, and move ASAP (possibly by renting out your current house first and renting in a new location to fit around secondary applications, this might be a good idea), or embrace the choice of staying where you are and try to widen your social circle by doing more out of the house and making the most of being in London. I would say that if you’re feeling isolated in Walthamstow, you will take that with you as it will take time and effort to make new friends - I think it’s a tricky stage in life, so you probably need a strategy for wherever you’re going to be, as this sounds like the biggest problem for you.

How do your DH and DC feel about being in London vs moving out?

Hello! Where you moved to sounds lovely to me, may I ask what it’s called?

Do you think if you made some more friends in the area and weren't so isolated wfh you'd feel better generally?

I know it's tough but it's not forever - if you really do want to move, work towards that. Even if it's a year down the line, that focus may make you feel better.

The grass is always greener on the other side OP.

Moving out of London might not solve all your problems and your feelings of isolation likely won't disappear- as you'll know no one and have to try and make friends. Like previous posters, we moved out of London and there's some things I struggled with - reliance on a car, locals less friendly than London and already in long established friendships, less cultural stuff to do... working from home can be isolating and i wouldn't say its safer for kids here either, they get up to shenanigans wherever they are!

However, if you get your house done up quickly you could sell up and move on while your child is in y6 or y7 (doing an in year transfer) - plenty of kids move schools before the GCSE courses start in y9 or y10. You're not tied to a London school.

It’s easy to think you made the wrong choice when you don’t have to live with the reality of the other choice.
in other words the grass is greener as the other choice was
perfect.

i know all the areas you talk of well. And I know which place my teens would love to grow up and your living it.

We considered Walthamstow when we wanted to move back into the city after many years of rural living. (nice but unlikely to fit our needs going forward.)
A few visits made us think that it was OK but not friendly and then we saw some things that were downright unpleasant -- groups of middle-aged men very drunk, noisy and a bit threatening in the town centre during the middle of the afternoon.
This was more than once. A relative had her bag stolen in the market and we were told to watch out for pickpockets.
So Along with the expensive housing meant we crossed it off our list and moved to Cambridge instead. It's very diverse, lively and with lots going on but I've never felt unsafe. It's just as expensive as Walthamstow, though! (Commuting is not an issue for us.)

One thing I’ve just thought of. Primary is where you’ll meet most people to make friends. So if your jumping, jump whilst your kids are still in primary.
secondary you rarely meet the parents.

Half of Walthamstow are parents in their 40s.

The problem isn’t Walthamstow, it’s that you have an insular life and no friends.
Why do you think that would change by moving to a smaller town?

You’re speaking in very absolute terms - you missed your one and only chance to leave Walthamstow and now you’re stuck there until you’re 60!

Kindly, OP, you’re not a tree, you can still move.

You can rent your current house out and then rent another house elsewhere to see if you like it before a permanent move (and I would recommend Herts over Essex).

Moving schools is difficult but it’s not the end of the world. Kids move schools all the time for various reasons and your kids will manage it too.

You’re not trapped. Your dreams are not lost forever. Sort your bathroom first and then reassess your options.

How do you see your life improving when you move? The loneliness and crying to sleep are unlikely to be eradicated by a relocation alone

Slightly bonkers reply

I have a feeling that if you stay in Walthamstow, and your daughter starts school there, you will make nice new, local school mum friends and will feel much more settled and at home?

I wonder if you’ve got a bit of anxiety going on. Wonder if you might benefit from a low dose of an antidepressant?

Sending you good wishes and hope you turn a corner soon.

You can move.
You are not trapped.
But go to gp first and get some cbt support before huge decisions

I think you are un happy and anxious and deflecting in all on Walthamstow bizarrely

you need to get to the bottom of the real reasons you are unhappy
marriage
hormones
friends
work
social life
kids

I was born in Walthamstow E17 (Thorpe Coombe), which is now an old people’s home. I went to school in Leyton E10, but we lived in Leytonstone E11. Basically, my life centred around Waltham Forest.

I disliked the way the area has changed, impersonal, gentrified, aggressive, but downhill and the constant smell of skunk, wherever I went. Isolation during Covid impacted my mental health. I was in despair.

A few things changed to make me move out to Essex:
(a) I stopped drinking in April 2024, which was having a depressive effect on me, this stopped me pitying myself;
(b) my partner and I, both separately had arguments with different neighbours, June 2024

Enough was enough.

I always wanted to move to Saffron Walden, so I kick off a few things simultaneously. I contacted local estate agent to rent our house, it needed fixing up, which his maintenance team will do and deduct it off the rent.

I looked at primary schools and rental properties in Saffron Walden. Put an offer in on the first decent place. Tad small, but I can get to know the area.

The rent received from my Leytonstone E11 home is exactly the same as what I pay here.

We moved in August 2024, I don’t have one regret in the world. My mental health has massively improved and I am the happiest I have been in my life ever. The kids have thrived and go to a small Church of England village school with a great PTA.

In Saffron Walden, the whole town pulls together for the greater good of everyone. The community spirit is very strong here and people are well-mannered, “please”, “thank you”, “sorry” even on the roads. No one abused the parent/child or disabled parking at Tesco’s. These are little things, but is the cumulative effect of gnawing now.

I don’t miss London one jot. I wished I had moved sooner.

Good luck in your choice.