What would you do in our situation - property dilemma (flat vs house)

[HolyParc]

We are first time buyers, almost 40y and have 1 DC who is a pre schooler. Currently in the lucky position of having finally saved a 10% deposit but current prices + interest rates mean we don't have a wide range of options for what we are looking for.

• Jobs in London, currently live in SW London suburbs, renting a flat
• Want to buy a property, only have 10% deposit and can afford around £500K-£520K max
• Current area is lovely and fits our lifestyle vey well: great commute, many amenities, pretty, safe, nice schools etc but very £££, can only afford a flat or maisonette
• If we moved further out, we might have a longer commute (1 hour and 15 min most likely) but would be able to buy a house
• We’d really love a garden and the idea of not having any outside space for the long term is a bit upsetting, however, I don’t know whether I am just being a bit extreme about it?
• I don’t drive, am used to living somewhere with lots of amenities and be able to walk everywhere. Can obv learn but it will take a while
• House buying timelines would potentially be an issue in terms of school applications as even if we moved, we wouldn’t likely be able to be in the new house on time for school applications, which means we could potentially end in a not so great school or somewhere far from home (which would be an issue given the fact that we both commute and I don’t drive as I said)
• Salaries will increase but given our age and jobs we are not going to be able to massively increase our mortgage in a few years so unlikely to be able to stay in current area and upgrade later on

I honestly don’t know what to do. I seem to want it all but our budget doesn’t allow us to. Areas outside of London we are considering are Weybridge (very expensive), Walton on Thames (some houses are quite far from the station or the shops), Hersham (not a big fan of the area, seems a bit dull but cheaper). But commute + after school clubs not being widely available and closing sooner than nursery are a concern whether we wouldn't have that issue in the current area as we have a faster commute.
What would you do/have done in our situation?

How old are you? Do you foresee any more children? Is your child a big fan of outdoors / playing outside?

I really wouldn't move the the home counties then, it will be exhausting with both of you commuting. I guess if you can't find a flat you like where you are now, you'll have to widen the net. London is full of lovely family areas within reasonable commuting distance and when you move with children you create a network very quickly.

If you aren’t going to have another baby then a flat where you live now or a middle option of a slightly less nice area and a garden flat.
It doesn’t sound as if you’d be happy compromising to an area where you could afford a house.

Will your friends desert you if you move to Tooting?

I would also suggest this area. Loads of green spaces as well as being able to get a decent amount for your money.

Some of the CR4 postcode (Cricket green area) borders on SW19 (Colliers Wood / South Wimbledon) but by going a street or two over and changing postcode, the prices drop considerably.

Stay in London and get a flat. You will massive regret moving to the HC if you can't drive. You love London. Stay.

I the same situation I picked the flat for all the reasons others have said. Also I don't want more space to clean / fill with stuff.

Do I occasionally wish I had a garden? Yes. But maybe 3 or 4 days a year?

Fair enough! Mitcham isnt for everyone. In that case, i reckon a garden flat where you are sounds best? We struggle with the commute back to Mitcham as it is some nights - i dont know how those in the home counties do it. And its fine having parks nearby but don't underestimate how useful it is to have just a small amount of outside space for a 2-3yr old to be able to burn off energy in the summer before bed!

I’ve lived in centralish London for most of my adult life so I’m just used to it. You could always look for a maisonette flat if that bothers you, though I always think stairs are dead space anyway.

Stay where you are, give it a year maybe to hold out for a flat with a garden.
sounds like you have a great community.
also, long commute for you plus after school clubs for your DD means everyone will be frazzled.

Im not sure it’s a parallel world, everyone has to make up their own mind as to what they prioritise. Personally I would hate a flat with small kids - a playground isn’t the same because you can’t let them play by themselves. With your own garden you can be making dinner and looking out once they get a little older which is very handy. However, a commute is a pain and means a very long day for a baby - our first was in from 8 until half five so I changed jobs which I appreciate isn’t feasible for everyone. There’s a big downside to either option which is prob why it’s tricky to chose but if I had to choose I’d avoid commute (unless you can plan to change jobs/work remotely). Dropping kids off first thing in morning and picking them up for bedtime is so hard.

I agree with the others - stay in London and get a flat. Or move to another part of London where you can afford a house, but would have to rebuild a network.

I'd only consider home counties if one of you would get a job locally, and also once you can drive (and be happy with driving everywhere). It's very hard to have a long commute in the primary years - there will be curriculum meetings and plays and sports days held in the middle of the day, unlike at nursery, plus there will be some early pickups one day for illness etc. You can't always rely on wraparound care.

A garden hasn't been essential for us - we have one now after we moved from a flat to a house. But it doesn't get a huge amount of use. My dc would rather be in a park and I'd rather have a proper day out with them to a big adventure playground on a weekend. When we do chores they are happier playing within the house (it's often too wet or dark to be outside). They seem to burn off plenty of energy indoors!

A flat with balcony?

You need to compromise

No one in their right mind would give up everything you have claimed you love in your current location for a patio area!

please just stay, buy a flat and meditate each evening on that ‘imaginary patio’

It's how you see your life?
Lovely home counties weekends tired after all those commutes? But loving suburban easy life and space? Can you afford time and cost driving lessons?
Busy London weekend hop on train tube or bus to fantastic free stuff if you like or local park if you Don t
Me I would get garden flat in area I like
But you might favour a longer commute and more suburban lifestyle
It s you who has to decide and live it

Flat.

Location is all.

@Quitelikeit when you put it like that it does sound mad but I can't help longing for a little garden now that is warmer

Many cute flats in our area close to best schools within our budget are small 2 bed of 600-700 sq feet, are we mad considering that?

Where are your jobs? There may be other areas to look at that you haven't thought of.

For me, having a garden would trump area but only if the commute wasn't too long. Can you find a ground floor flat with a garden? As others have said, a park nearby isn't the same.

But lots of people do bring up dc in flats. You have to work out what you're prepared to compromise on.

@EmmaGrundyForPM I lived in a flat all my life, I am not british and where I am from (and the vast majority of the world) families happily live in flats, not houses. I do however often wish I had a little bit of outside space to relax in the summer evenings

I don’t really understand why you would move to the HC & burden yourself with 2 long commutes? Plus houses there near station & good schools are likely to be £££. As pp said many parts of London you can get a house for that with better schools & shorter commutes but of course no Gail’s etc. Although that may change in the future!

How happy are you to stay in a flat? London properties vs the rest of the country haven’t performed that well over the last few yrs particularly if you look at flats. You may find houses move too far out of your reach. If you’re desperate to stay where you are & happy to stay in a flat go for the flat.

During Covid we swapped a flat with garden in z2/3 for bigger house in z3/4. It was also for schools & we definitely made the right decision but I always wanted a flat & more space.

Curious how people find flats with noise from neighbours? Upstairs are so loud and that's why I personally would go for a house!

@Hgsrh we had an upstairs purpose built maisonette & didn’t notice much noise at all really.

Flats we’ve lived in:
New build- heard nothing
Top floor- heard nothing
Middle floor but with 11ft ceilings and upstairs was an upside maisonette so their bedrooms were directly above- again heard nothing
Maybe we’ve been lucky 🤷‍♀️ But I hear more now through the walls of our terrace than we ever did in the flats, and even that isn’t that much tbh, only when their kids are on the stairs.