How not to give up on your not so bright kid?

[MsWhatever]

Hi there...
I’m feeling completely lost atm.
My DS (8yo) really struggles at school to put it mildly. He does try to understand things but he just can’t. I can’t help think is just not a bright kid.
The issue with that is I don’t really know what to do.
I’m growing frustrated with this situation specially when I pounder how much I have given up because of motherhood. All the career opportunities I missed, social life, etc etc and then, boom, my kid is dumb as a rock.
Part of me now feels any time spent with him is a waste of my time and perhaps he can do just fine in a sub-par job when he grows up.
I am not sure I should continue spending tons of money with tutoring and keep missing job opportunities so I can help him with school if he is just not talented.
With all honestly, I am completely regretting motherhood atm.
Sorry if it sounds harsh.
I do love DS lots.

She's not making up random shit.

Yes, she is. She’s making up random shit and getting angry about.

@OppsUpsSide

She's not making up random shit.

Yes, she is. She’s making up random shit and getting angry about.

She’s really not.

Well, she is because at no point has OP said she dislikes her child. She said she loves him.

Just because you think she dislikes her child and that would be a fun thing to be angry about, doesn’t make it true. That’s just you making up shit because... who knows?!

Bluntness100 have you got any constructive advice or are you just here to put the boot in?

@NewYearNewLockdown

Bluntness100 have you got any constructive advice or are you just here to put the boot in?

Like you you mean?

That’s a no then.

@alltheadrenalin

That was a depressing read. I've no doubt your dumb as a rock child has picked up on your feelings. All children are bright, he might not be academically bright but there will be other areas where he'll shine. Hope he comes across an adult that will help him with that.

Came here to say exactly this 🥲

I understand how you feel. I put DS off what I thought were difficult subjects in high school cause he wasnt the best academically. But a mix up with subjects meant he had no choice but take Physics. Turned out he was amazing at it and has just sat his final exam to become a fully qualified electrician. So there is hope

"boom, my kid is dumb as a rock"

Nice 🙄

Ha OP I'm dumb as a rock too with no talents. Someone has to loose for someone to win. Managed to get by, I'm really nice and caring. I do sometimes wish I had something wrong with me to explain it, but I'm not that interested in certain things.

I understand your frustration to an extent, if not how harshly you have described your child, but I appreciate that is borne out of frustration not a lack of love. My child is a couple of years younger than yours, certainly has talents and an affinity for the creative, rather good at maths but behind with reading and no real love for academic learning. I can find it frustrating, it is quite different to my memories of being a voracious, ahead of my class learner at school.

I was academically gifted when young - everything came so easily. I didn’t have to put effort into anything. The reality is I was never instilled with a work ethic because I “didn’t need to”, never learned when young that initial failure does not mean ultimate failure. I was highly pressured to achieve without fail. That does not translate well, or easily, to adulthood.

Whilst I can find my child frustrating sometimes, I try to remind myself they are not me and if I am encouraging and loving, they will turn out all the better for being different to me.

Just want to thank all the positive PPs on this thread who are totally behind their children no matter how much they are struggling with academic school work. Your children are all very lucky to have the best mums. I have been inspired !

I'm sorry but your poor life decisions are not your young boy's fault.
Having children does not mean the end of your career or any future opportunities. Maybe you missed out for other reasons and are now shifting the blame?
Just to add I grew up very poor too. It made me determined to work hard and get a decent job which I've maintained since having my 3 kids.
Perhaps as with most children, homeschooling doesn't suit your son and he will do better when he returns to school. I find myself constantly despairing with my kids when they don't do what they've been set by school but I'm not a teacher and don't have the skills or patience.