Kids refusing to do home learning!

[Falcon1]

This is week 3 of home learning. Kids are year 2 and reception. It started off well, with them both enthusiastic, but now I'm finding it harder and harder to get them to do anything! The older one has just started to refuse to do any of the work that school has set and I'm obviously doing a rubbish job of making it interesting. I'm trying to do just a bit of proper learning each day, with plenty of breaks, online educational games, outdoor play and craft activities. But the actual literacy and maths stuff (the important bits!) are just met with complete refusal to engage. The younger one has the concentration span of about 2 minutes and as soon as she finds something hard or gets something wrong, she gets cross and gives up. I'm tearing my hair out. I feel so ill equipped to be teaching them and am stressed with how much learning they're missing out on.

Their school - other than providing some worksheets - have not provided any other help. They're both missing their teachers and friends and are feeling very fed up with me and each other. Can't say I blame them!

Honestly, you should relax. They will all need catch up and they will all receive it once they are back at school. Important thing just now is to focus on keeping children happy and positive and unafraid. Read to them lots, talk about what you are reading and they will be absolutely fine.
Just a general observation, and not aimed at the OP... do all remember when your children are back at school that teaching a class of 25 kids, many of whom refuse to co-operate because that works for them at home, is a bloody hard shift, and think hard in future before you storm up to the school 'fuming' about trivial issues.

I am lucky if my year 8's do half an hour to an hour a day and most of that I need to actually supervise. My asd dc does not work unless has one to one from me.

It is hard when you are juggling it with wfh and sharing electronic devices to do so .

I am worried too as they are older. School didnt seem that bothered when they have rung. Just said break it down and do what you can.

My own dc (juniors) are doing two hours in the morning of work. Worksheets, workbooks, purple mash...
Afternoon is ‘project work’. Crafts and badge work like brownies.

If i didn't insist on this, I wouldn't be able to get any work done at all.

How are people have relaxed days with their own children, and baking all day, getting any work done????

I keep oscillating between thinking their well-being is the most important thing and to stop stressing about school work, and (usually following an email from school) feeling under huge pressure to ensure they're still learning. Aahhhh!

Biblibs, blimey, that sounds really unreasonable of your DCs' school. I think your attitude is spot on. The pressure on parents is just immense at the moment. We don't know how to teach!!!

To all other posters, sorry you're finding it hard too. Having had a glass of wine (or two) I'm now feeling like, you know what, we're doing the best we can. Hope you all have a well earned break from home schooling over the weekend.

Good advice here
www.edp24.co.uk/news/education/headteacher-common-sense-tips-for-stressed-out-parents-1-6582545

We had a rocky start but my child kept going. We had tantrums but I didn't give in. I lost my temper and shouted. I bought a load of books from cgp online (they have a special offer on and books came 2 days later but I had problems paying online and had to eventually make the payment over the phone). Most of the books help.

It's taking lots of encouragement. I have to break up tasks into easier stages and we have plenty of breaks.

Some subjects are easier than others. I've found the best approach is to treat it like a school day completely. It's not holidays with some school homework set but a normal school day. She doesn't get to play until her schoolwork is out of the way although she gets regular breaks.

Talking with other local mum friends I've found they're treating it more like a holiday which I think is the problem. Relatives think I'm being too hard when I'm insisting the schoolwork gets done.

Maybe when eventually schools return to normal people will stop bashing teachers, especially those who teach early years and Key Stage 1 and actually appreciate the bloody hard job we do!

We too have had a tough start here. I do a hour of work each day on a laptop with both children. The general rule is when all the schoolwork and lessons are done for the day, we can then do something fun as a family like make cakes, paint some pinecones or dance. I like to basically improvise. For worksheets, I use www.corbettmaths.co.uk. For math and English lessons, I also have some useful Reception Year workbooks to use at home which came from CGP and amazon. I purchased them on their site. Other lessons like history, geography and so on we tend to do cool experiments, watch educational videos on YouTube or paint or color in maps etc. For history in particular, I draw up timelines in addition. There are lots of resources and stuff out there. In art at the moment we are painting pine cones and researching artists online. Next term we will move onto drawing and painting practice and focus a bit more on artistic general skill development.

From what my colleagues and I are hearing back from parents, they much prefer the approach where teachers post up tasks for the whole week, on Monday, and the children work through whichever ones they want. Some schools are being very prescriptive - asking for work to be done that same day or setting an impossible amount of tasks. That approach is not proving to be easy, as there are limits to use of devices etc and parents may be working from home too. I'd far rather my pupils were happy doing a few tasks, that miserably trawling through loads of stuff.

Don't you go a-stressing OP! I think you need to sit down with a nice cup of tea and listen to Caitlin Moran giving her advice on lockdown home-schooling.

Love Caitlin Moran! Very reassuring!

I've been trying to get a very reluctant SEN DS to do school work at home for a while now as his previous school repeatedly excluded him. He also wasn't allowed to go out while excluded (sound familiar?)
We set a number of tasks and they are interspersed with breaks where either he plays on his own or we play a game with him (he loves board games) and at the end of the school day there are learning apps (we use Doodle Maths/English) and then tablet game time.
So in order to get a board game, you have to do your reading; in order to get an adult to play Giant Jenga outside, you have to do your maths workbook; and in order to get screen time, you have to do all of your maths, English, reading, handwriting and (if relevant) topic work.

People have mentioned PDA to us but we don't think he has it, though we do find the techniques useful - you choose when you do it, we choose what you do.
You aren't doing your reading now? OK, come back to me when you are ready.

Worksheets have been very draining. We've had to rely heavily on online interactive classes which have helped massively!

Bright Idea Education (much less known, but fab and free!) have 30 min interactive lessons for Years 1-6, once or twice a week. We've found it to be particularly helpful with motivation for maths e.g last week they did multiplication and division (the week before adding & subtracting) and dc got to ask loads of questions in real time with the teacher providing visual explanations. It's also been really useful in breaking up hl routine for me too

I've given up today and will be having wine tonight... I'm an actual teacher too!! But my kids are 2 and 4, the 2 year old is a little sponge... the older one is very bright but refuses to engage in all the fun phonics games I've brought home, he's just been in a right one today!

I am at the end of my rope with it now. We have been cajoling DS (6.5) for the last 6 weeks, incentives, help, support, and every single ducking day it is met with meltdowns, shouting, tears, objection after objection.

To add, we are trying to do 2 lots of 20 mins a day and that's it. I'm making it fun, I'm trying everything and it's like bashing my head against a fucking wall.

Anyone else?

• fucking

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck

Because I can't swear at him 😭

In the nicest possible way, your issue isn't school work, its that you let your kids get away with refusing to do things. Like tidying up or brushing teeth or eating dinner, school work is non-negotiable, it has to happen. Clear expectations, schedule, manageable chunks and enforceable consequences. They're what, 8 and 5? They don't get to refuse to do things, they're not in charge. Yes, the situation is weird and unsettling. It's really understandable and reasonable to be upset and act out. Lots of cuddles and reassurance and time to talk about feelings. School work still needs to be done.

And does your advice apply to all children @SomeoneElseEntirelyNow ?

Those with suspected ASD issues, ADHD, ODD?

Are you also trying to manage a full time job?

Are you suggesting that everyone should have the same resolve and attitude you do? Because some of us don't at the moment.

@goldpendant obviously the strategies for kids with SN are different, that's just common sense.

I know that everything is really difficult now, but as parents we do our kids a disservice when we let things slide. Boundaries and structure and rules are vital for children, it's how they feel secure and safe. It's also what allows them to grow up and fit in with society. We made a commitment when we decided to have children, and we don't get to take the easy route for a quiet life when things get tough - our children deserve better than that. Parenting is hard, but we chose it!

How do you recommend forcing children to do school work @someone?
If they don't respond to incentives (when you've done this we can....) or disincentives (if you don't do this you are getting a sanction) what do you suggest?
These are children who generally DO respond to boundaries. Not who are usually allowed unlimited screen time and to set their own bedtime.

@drspouse not knowing what OP has already tried or having met her kids, i can't tell you what would work for them. But just as with kids who don't want to brush their teeth or do their homework or eat vegetables, letting them refuse isn't an option. OP needs to find something that works for her family rather than giving up.

I've found with my very demand avoidant one that telling her I want her to spend this amount of time on the school's learning software, then a break and then this amount of time and if she wants to drag her feet and procrastinate and make an issue about it she'll be doing it before she gets to chill out but it's up to her makes the difference and she shifts into gear.

The other one needs a very clear timetable and will nag me if I've not got her reading book out at 9.46 when it says 9.45 on the bit of paper on the wall.

I give mine the choice between school work and going to bed. They’re going to bed very late but at least getting their work done.