Moving to LA with 3 kids in July

[acapulco]

It’s not the ideal time to be moving anywhere but here we are. My partners job is relocating to the office in Hollywood. We’re in the process of applying for an L1 Visa and realistically we should be moving by July.

It’s my job to scope the cost of moving and setting up life in LA. I was hoping someone on here could offer all the insights and advice they have and anything I should be aware of and consider. We won’t have credit history obviously and will be renting.

For various reasons we’d like to be living within easyish reach of Marina Del Rey but not live in that actual location. We have drawn a curve around potential places and high schools that could work - so Venice, El Segundo, towards Manhattan Beach (I think this is too far to commute to Hollywood daily?).

We have 2 boys 16yr, 13yrs and a toddler. Obviously we need to make it work for the 16yr old on every level. Particularly school wise.

What is it that can tell me that I should aware of or be thinking about? It’s all slightly daunting when we can’t travel to scope everything out properly. That said we have travelled to LA a few times and travelled around so understand the geography but not practicalities.

[Toilenstripes]

I don’t know if this has already been mentioned but Orange County, which is where you seem to be considering, is politically conservative. Back in the day it was referred to as living ‘behind the orange curtain’ If you want a more liberal area you would do well to look north of L.A. maybe in Calabasas.

[MixedUpFiles]

Different school districts handle things differently. Some you have some degree of school choice or lottery as long as you live in the district. In our district the school you attend is strictly determined by your address and that doesn’t necessarily mean the school closest to your house. You have to check the district website to see how they do school assignments.

Wherever you decide to live, know that the travel will always be longer and harder than you expect.

[knitnerd90]

Er, UC is just the top tier of California state universities. The system is 3 tiered and fully comprehensive. Below UC is the Cal State system and then the community colleges--both cheaper than UC too.

Going private in the USA is a complicated decision driven by a lot of factors--but it's not generally because public isn't an option.

As for school shooting drills, well then you don't think anyone should move to the USA. It's your right to think that but it's completely unhelpful.

[twingygirl]

The OP never mentioned Orange County. It's LA County all the way down to Long Beach, well over an hour south of Los Angeles. And yes, it used to be the most conservative part of California, but that is changing rapidly. The recommendation of trying Calabasas as a more liberal alternative is a bit laughable, though. From Calabasas northward throughout the Las Virgenes School District and up through the Conejo Valley is all white flight country. People move there to get away from all those pesky minorities in Los Angeles and the San Fernando Valley. I moved back to LA from Calabasas recently and breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't have to hide my liberal politics anymore. It's very white and very straight and conservative up there! The public schools, on the other hand, are superb, and the housing stock is newer than most of LA and favors the huge house and yard, if you like that sort of thing.

[LALALife]

@twingygirl totally agree - Calabasas is after all where the bloody kardashians come from - says it all

[Cormoran]

[quote acapulco]@Tangotoes I agree. I hope the 13yr old will adjust really well. And remote learning may have worked in our favour as he isn’t as attached as could be to his new school yet he hasn’t been in enough yet!

We’ve reached out already to several potential UK boarding school for the oldest.[/quote]
I wanted to build on what you said here about your second.
When we moved to Australia, my focus and attention was on my eldest as it was his schooling that was most critical and he was also the most opposed to the move, and expressing how much he didn't want to go. The other two, didn't seem too much affected. My middle child was almost untouched by the whole move preparation.

We totally misunderstood and misjudged the situation. and missed all the signs.

First he started ripping his nails, and he had never touched/bitten his nails, then he started soiling himself (he was 9) , then walking hunched, so we took him to an osteopath for that, and after touching him for two minutes, she asked me to follow her outside the room and asked "what's going on at home?" . The hunched back was caused by an extreme tightness in the chest, so strong it pulled the shoulders forward and she was alarmed by it. Massive anxiety.

We had focused on the wrong child.

I am sharing this to warn you not to make my mistake and assume all is fine just because it seems so.

Another thing I want to share with you is to really think hard before separating the family. Yes you will be just one plane away, but what if you can't fly? My family was devastated by my move, but I made sure to come back twice a year to Europe and now I can't . Borders have been shut since March. I can't leave the country and even if by some miracle I was granted an exemption I would fill the 40.000 Australians who return home because of borders restriction.
Imagine you had been in LA at the beginning of the pandemic with your child so far away. There is so much uncertainty right now and life in the near future with covid. We are living peculiar times and I am not sure I would comfortable about leaving a child behind.

Actually, this is not true, I am sure I would never want to be separated from my 16 years old. I would like to see him growing and becoming.

Yes, in an ideal world, school and life would be easy, and rightfully uni needs to be considered, but all these are rational reasons. Where do you put your feelings.

Sometimes we have to move, and kids have to follow, and there will be hiccups and hurdles, and probably tears, but at the end of the day, the family is together , isn't that what matters most?

[acapulco]

@Cormoran absolutely it matters to have everyone close. It’s not going to be easy I’ve never underestimated that. I also know where my heart lies.

Also living where I do in London shit happens. People from outside London ask me if it’s safe. My boys move around freely so I’d say yes! Outside perceptions are always skewed to the worst news reports.

We also live in a super diverse area of London. It’s a healthy balance we’d like to keep - it would be odd not to.

Thanks for all inputs. Head slightly frazzled. Some more thinking to go to figure this out.

[LALALife]

That will be a huge change OP - we came from a super diverse part of London too. The US is very very segragated, it will be quite the shock to the system. One of the main reasons we don’t live in Santa Monica or the Palisades to be honest

[Aria999]

I found LA was less segregated than the east coast seems to be. I had a great multi racial friendship group in Santa Monica.

[Aria999]

(We weren't really posh enough to know anyone from palisades but I dare say you're right 🤣)

[Aria999]

Santa Monica is very touristy though. I was kind of over it. We would have moved inland if we had stayed.

[MyAnacondaMight]

What would you do if there was no offer to relocate, and your partner was simply made redundant? What would your plan look like then?

I would give that some serious research - there has to be a better plan than what you are currently looking at.

[TheSandman]

@LALALife

Ignore posts from people like *@TheSandman* who only spent 6 months here and the other poster talking about school shooter drills and has therefore probably not actually lived here. It’s a city unlike any other in that you really have to live here (and for a reasonable time) to get to know it and appreciate it

I appreciate six months isn't a long time to get to know a place and I deliberately avoided the British social scene in Santa Monica and tried to immerse myself in the place but I really did hate it. It's very superficial. No depth. No history.

[TheSandman]

Ignore my last. I'm in a fouls mood and it wasn't anything like helpful. Stupid of me to post it.

[MissConductUS]

It's very superficial. No depth. No history.

I think the no depth, no history reaction is fairly common for Europeans. We're a very young county. I live in a town that was settled, by the Dutch, in 1681. Here, that's very, very old. In the UK it would still smell of fresh paint.

[Tangotoes]

It's L.A!? What on earth would you expect? I suppose it depends on what you mean by depth. It has a strong multicultural history and well you can be whatever you like whenever and no one gives a toss.

[TheSandman]

@Tangotoes

It's L.A!? What on earth would you expect? I suppose it depends on what you mean by depth. It has a strong multicultural history and well you can be whatever you like whenever and no one gives a toss.

you can be whatever you like whenever and no one gives a toss.

I realised that when I saw a naked man walk across a crossing in front of me in Venice Beach and no one but me seemed to notice.

[MissConductUS]

I realised that when I saw a naked man walk across a crossing in front of me in Venice Beach and no one but me seemed to notice.

The standards for public propriety are a bit more flexible in certain parts of CA. I'm sure you'd feel right at home in New York or Boston.

[Tangotoes]

It's freeing. No more British class system. No more calling people chavs and middle class as insults. No one cares where you food shop. No one will ever think to even ask which bloody secondary school you went to. Your accent is of no concern and isn't a badge indicating class. Fancy gels and big hair? Knock yourself out. Want to wear a wellies and a bikini - sounds fab. There are creative people and artists everywhere. It has world class universities. It has world class food. The sun shines all the damn time. The architecture isn't old world. People shower regularly as in daily. If you have health insurance you can expect any health concern to be sorted ASAP. You'll have a yearly physical where they help you stay healthy and look at lifestyle. It really really could be worse! And as for naked folks my first time in a coed naked sauna on the continent surely opened my eyes!

[SwedishK]

Sorry if this already been suggested, but how did your son do with home schooling? Would he consider doing his a-levels remotely? I believe there are plenty of options when it comes to that and if he has plenty of hobbies outside of school it might be worth trying?

[britinnyc]

I live in Manhattan Beach abs love the lifestyle here. Outdoors all year round, kids can go places easily, good restaurants. Plenty of people here commute to Hollywood or DTLA, yes the traffic can be bad but you work your commute around it. For HS El Segundo, Manhattan Beach (Mira Costa) and Redondo are all great schools. I can’t comment on transferring from the UK but can comment on the facilities and extra curricular a available which will really blow your mind. People have a lot of negative things fa to say about LA but I have lived in many places and this has them all beat by far. Houses are $$ but even a smaller house feels beige because you can be outside about 360 days a year

[Lilikaoua]

Hi Acapulco,
i am in the process of moving to LA with 3 kids as well. Our eldest will be 15 and will have finished year 10.
i am curious, have you managed to move and what choice did you do with your boys? X

[KyraMartini]

Im in San Diego so not a million miles away. I would avoid the public school system at all costs, especially in LA. We made huge sacrifices to put ours into private. The traffic in LA is abysmal but you will learn how to drive there. We only ever go up for Universal/Disney and it's always a shit show. Life is fast paced, everything (I mean everything) is very expensive, you will see homeless people all around. The weather is incredible, opportunities to be outdoors every day, the food is amazing (but you will pay for it!). There are great ex pat British communities everywhere, they've been a god send for me. Be prepared to be mistaken for an Australian every single time you leave the house. It's exciting - I enjoy living here despite it's flaws. You do need to crack on with the marriage though! Good luck!!

[acapulco]

@Lilikaoua I’ll PM you my experience. Don’t forget a lot depends on the resilience and hopes and dreams of your kids. I’ll switch to PM.

[acapulco]

@LALALife @Aria999 lol we spent our first month in Santa Monica and then landed in Palisades. Coming from East London the shock and confusion was immense. Been an intense and interesting ride and to be fair as we are tucked up a hill and not embedded in the place have met some lovely people from all walks of life.

Moving somewhere else in the summer. Any suggestions LA people? (Not Manhattan Beach sorry lovely place logistics don’t work).