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Living overseas

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Living in America 2015

480 replies

rootypig · 01/03/2015 05:32

New thread. In honour of:

  1. allegedly Irish bangers discovered I saw in Trader Joe's today, which made me think of you lot and especially you Want2b, you pork fanatic Grin - I will report back; and

  2. taxes bloody argh! do I have to do this? NOW??? My green card was granted in August last year and I didn't earn a bloody penny. What am I supposed to put on a tax return Confused

How else is everyone's American odyssey going?

yours chaotically, as ever,

rooty

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 15/09/2015 19:06

Thank you MrsFrumble!

Great news that your DS is doing well in preK. We have similar issues here in NJ with different towns have different cut offs. Friends of ours moved to the next town over and their DD started kindergarden last week.

The road trips sound great. New England is lovely in fall and I love upstate NY.

mathanxiety · 16/09/2015 03:58

Funny enough, Nebraska is one of my favourite states to drive through, though I have only done it E-W and W-E again. I am a Willa Cather fan and I was amazed at how true to life her descriptions of the western end of the state were.

If you're stuck and need somewhere to stay, we used to stay at a great little (= clean and reasonably priced, with working AC) motel in York -- the Yorkshire Inn. [Disclaimer - many years ago...]

Do not eat anything from the McDonalds in Kearney if you pass through. I got the worst food poisoning I have ever experienced there. Luckily there is another McD's in Ogalalla, just to the west Wink with a capacious ladies room.

Mrsfrumble · 16/09/2015 04:09

Thanks for the tips math! I will keep an open mind about Nebraska (and read some Willa Cather before we go), but I know I'm right about Kansas, having driven through it to get to Colorado before. At least there's no other traffic so you can drive fast and get it over with! We have been known to visit McDonalds while on the road (Happy Meal toys have the power to enthrall the children in the backseat for hours) so we will steer clear of eating the Kearney branch should we pass through.

W2B were both your other children born over here? How would you rate the obstetric care? Not that I'm planning to experience it for myself. I'm just interested that the U.S. is always held up as a paragon of unnecessarily medicalised births and I wonder how true that is.

mathanxiety · 16/09/2015 04:48

MrsF, if I may jump in with a comment on obstetric care -- I think a lot depends on your doctor and even on your hospital. I had five DCs here, only one with an epidural (lack of epidural for DC2 was not my choice but I just said heyho for the rest of them having lived through the birth of DS). I had episiotomies, and don't understand the fuss about them. Yes they are done with medieval implements, and yes it sounds terrible, but I healed really fast and have never experienced any after effects. I do not know what a tear might have resulted in.

As far as care in hospitals went one hospital (a university hospital) had made a huge effort to upgrade its nursing standards, and it showed. It was a wonderful experience, as wonderful as it can get anyway, when you have a bruised and sore rear end and are leaking everywhere I think nursing care is the make or break element in maternity care. The other hospital was great too. It was a smaller local hospital. Both were clean as a whistle, with a bathroom ensuite in all the rooms I occupied. Plus decent food.

But I know experiences can vary widely. It's best to ask around, see what others were looking for in a birth experience and whether their hospital and doctor delivered that.

Want2bSupermum · 17/09/2015 20:36

Both of my DC were born here. As math says maternity care here is full of choice even if you can't afford insurance (medicare was very good pre obamacare but don't know about now). Basically you pick your obn based on your birth style and hospital/ midwife unit preferences and their affiliations with insurance. I love my obn and so darn happy with the care I received.

My experience with DD was that they wanted to do avoid medical intervention and some significant effort was made to achieve that. I was signed off work at 35 weeks and put me on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was on a salt free diet which was MISERABLE, going to the chiropractor every other day as my sciatica was just awful. While I was anemic they didn't give me iron tablets because my obn said they would give me piles and she wanted to 'save my ass'. I was 32 weeks along and she said the benefits were just not there.

As for the delivery, well even though DD was measured at 8lb8oz and had stopped growing at 37 weeks due to preeclampsia I didn't qualify for a CS by the hospital (they have a standards board which decides on the criteria for being qualified as an elective CS for all births and having a CS for your first birth doesn't automatically mean you can have a CS with your 2nd). I was induced (painful), was in labour for 27 hours (very much more painful until I had wonderful drugs) and then had DD by EMCS. Under the direction of my obn I had acupuncture before induction and again 12 hours later plus a couple of massages to help with the pain as I wanted to avoid an epidural early on. When I wanted an epidural I had one about 10mins after asking (they have an anesthetist whose sole responsibility is to administer epidurals to ladies in labour). My CS didn't feel like an EMCS as it was talked through at 2pm with my obn and we reached a decision based on that conversation and I went in at 9pm. My care afterwards was nothing short of amazing.

With DS they let me go over my due date and I was due to have a VBAC until DS's head popped out of my pelvis (most painful thing ever). They scanned him and at 10lb6oz they decided that a vaginal birth was a definite no.

Basically I love that I have the same 3 doctors managing all 3 of my pregnancies. It would never happen that way in the UK. Also, for me knowing the doctor who performed the CS was important. She knew my medical history, knew what sort of pregnancy I had experienced and one of the 3 obns checked in on me everyday while I was in the hospital.

Some of my friends have gone to other hospitals that are happy to let anyone do a CS while some have gone to the midwife unit attached to another excellent hospital that has a similar approach to where I delivered. I personally think that in the UK there needs to be much better funding of maternity services. People in the UK always compare the NHS to the US because it is almost the polar opposite. It plays on peoples fears that without the NHS there would be no more care as healthcare is unaffordable etc etc. I actually think it is interesting maternity services are not compared more to Canada, Denmark, Germany, France, Sweden and Norway. All have different forms of socialized medical care with very different approaches to maternity provision.

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