2013 ist schon da! A new Kaffeeklatsch thread for the New Year - living in Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

All welcome - whether you're living in Germany or Austria, have questions about life in those countries or just want to chat.

Previous thread here.

Thank you so much for all the fantastic advice; I'm so grateful for the insight.

Sorry for late response. You disappeared from my ?Threads I?m on? :(

admylin our last day in Singapore is the 30th of November. I reckon we will move that weekend. Fortunately DH?s company pays for the entire move, which means we are being packed up here into sea and air freight and then we get our stuff stored/delivered into our new place in Frankfurt! It?d be hell if we needed to pack. DH likes to ?keep stuff?

scorchienne I?m so excited! We are preparing for our move to Frankfurt at the end of the year!

TheUKGrinchImGluhweinkeller Oh, I am from Munich. Where are you?

Lentils that is really helpful! Thanks. I?d love to know about the classes and soft-play you are talking about if it?s not too much hassle?
I won?t be in Frankfurt until the end of the year, but would love to meet. My DS is a bit younger than yours.

Nutella I?m sorry :( 
I can?t help much, but wanted to say that YANBU at all. Hope you?re feeling a wee bit better today

To the citizenship questions. I think the primary benefit of gaining citizenship is the ability to vote. If I'm going to live and pay taxes in a country I'd like to be able to vote there and have some influence on where my tax money is spent.

To knowledge Britain doesn't care if you take up citizenship of another country, it just takes the view that it can't offer you any protection against that country. As for Germany they allowed dual citizenship with EU member states in 2000 (see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_nationality_law). Don't know about Austria

Merlion Yes, I would have liked to be able to vote in the referendum on military service yesterday (among other reasons, it will affect DS) but only DH was able to go the polls. I voted in the last election in Britain but my right to vote in the UK expires next year so I won't be able to vote in national elections anywhere then.

Austria doesn't allow dual citizenship unless you acquire both citizenships at birth, so the DC are allowed to be Austrian and British citizens (and American too in DD1's case), but I would have to renounce my British citizenship if I became an Austrian citizen - although I can't imagine doing so.

outnumbered Hope your appointment went OK on Friday (? IIRC).

Ah that's interesting about dual citizenship Merlion

We're near Pfaffenhofen an der Ilm, north of Munich.

The military service thing would theoretically affect my boys too, but I find it weird as in practice military service seems to being phased out - BIL actually tried to do his military service a few years ago, when he was about 22 (he had initially got out of it due to being the 3rd son, which is a get out apparently) when he had been unemployed for several months and couldn't find a new job, and they wouldn't take him! My other BIL got out of it too by moving repeatedly though within the same area (you get a grace period after each move) and then they let him off officially when he reached 30! My DH is the only one of the brothers who actually did it, and he enjoyed it and looks back on it the way a lot of people look back on gap years... I think I need to read up as I don't really get why they are bothering expanding the military service pool to include dual citizens if they are not calling up / accepting the people who are already eligible!

Good morning! More snow has fallen overnight and hardly any footpaths have been cleared yet, meaning my preschool run was similar to you school run the other day linzer. Ds2 has huge problems with transitions, and I have found that if I take ds2&3 to preschool on foot, meltdowns due to transitions are far less likely than if we take the car. Not quite sure why, maybe the transition from home to kiga seems smoother...anyway for that reason I always use the double pushchair unless its pouring down. It wasn't too bad today though, and it's one of the many days I am so glad we invested in a Phil&Teds when ds2 was born.

linzer my appt went well, I didn't feel a thing. Thank you for asking I will now try without hormones and see how I get on wrt period pain. Apparently something called Mönchspfeffer helps with heavy and painful periods, so I am giving that a go. My gaeny is a bit odd though. She doesn't greet anyone outside her actual treatment room, even if she walks past you in the corridor. Once in the room she is nice but VERY talkative.

Anyway I must get some work done this morning so had better get on with it :)

My ILs aren't all bad btw. But I think the reason I find them manageable is because we don't live very close and this don't see them very often. When they do come to stay it is usually after day two that I look forward to having the house to ourselves again. Not so bad if it is just MIL, but my FIL I find very hard work. He is the type of good-weather- opa. He likes spending time with the children if they are quiet and well behaved. Which is about 1% of the time

theukgrinch but I read on the BBC website that national service had been phased out in 2011? Is that changing/not correct?

Half an inch of snow here and DS' nursery is theatening to close

God, I hope things are better in Germany.

We had a referendum yesterday on whether military service should be phased out here, but the majority voted to keep it. I think the army is pretty pointless, but apparently the emergency services would fall apart without all the Zivildiener - heaven forbid they should employ people who are actually interested in it as a career and pay them a proper wage. A friend of mine hasn't got her DS an Austrian passport so that he doesn't have to do military service and I'm gespannt as to whether she'll be able to get away with it - it seems a bit of a "too good to be true" solution to me.

slatternly Despite several feet of snow last week, everyone's expected to go about their daily lives as usual - I was glad the schools the DC go to are within walking distance though, as I really wouldn't have fancied driving. The roads and pavements were cleared fairly quickly (although it did take longer than usual this time), but all the snow piled up at the side of the roads can be a bit of a pain if you a) have a pushchair, b) are looking for a parking space.

outnumbered Glad the appointment went well (I must admit I was quite relieved to hear it, after reading recently about how awful someone else found the procedure!). I hope the Mönchspfeffer helps. How weird about your gynae - I remember reading ages ago that Germans have public and private faces, and the same people who can be quite rude to strangers are actually very friendly when you get to know them; maybe she has her public face on when she's not in her office!

linzerhmm maybe. I always think its so unnecessary to ignore people. A little smile or a 'hello' makes such a different. Very different to our paediatrician who madly waves at me every time he sees me. Not in his surgery, that would also be quite odd but on the street as he lives near us.
I had also made the mistake of googling 'Taking out mirena' before my appt and read about women saying it was painful. But there were also loads saying how painful it was to have it fitted, how they were in pain for days etc. and as it wasn't painful for me to have it fitted, I decided to ignore those comments about having it removed

I actually got lots done this morning. It is such a nice feeling, which unfortunately I do not get very often . I now have an up-to-date CV to send off, have sorted out ds2' appt for ADOS testing in Frankfurt. (We do have a diagnosis from Homburg, but I am not happy with the diagnosis or the report so decided to have him re-assessed somewhere where they have very experienced people), talked to the Kurklinik in Cuxhaven...and now I will have a well-earned rest.

I hope the snow shoveling is manageable linzer and ploom

outnumbered Could you get a date for your Kur?Cuxhaven is lovely, it's on our list of places to visit this year and hopefully stay a night or two. Last year we left it too late and all the hotels were fully booked.
Well done on getting all your jobs done! I've just been down to clear the drive and path and it's snowing like mad again so I'll have to go again if I want the car out later.

Linzer it's a pain when you don't get to vote isn't it? That's what got me thinking about it as Niedersachsen voted yesterday but I couldn't. I'm not really interested in voting in the UK as I don't live there or even have a home there!

slatternly yes, the military service stopped in Germany a few years ago. A colleague of dh who is a military doctor told us at dinner recently that the German armed forces are going to have to set up a whole new recruiment system. They used to be able to recruit from those men who had enjoyed the military service and wanted stay on.

Better get my cake out of the oven and start on lunch so it's ready when my starving teens get in at one. They were eating constantly all day yesterday so I'm going to have to shop again later to stock up. Ds is learning to cook and he's decided on Japanese food so all very 'different' but he looks it all up and watches videos on youtube so I'm not complaining and he only does it at the weekend.

Thanks everyone, I know we are rather sleep deprived and its easy to get over emotional about silly things. Apparently they did apologise (most of the time they were here I was busy, first DS needed changing, then of course we had a poosplosion and he needed some fresh clothes then he fed for an hour) but when we arrived FIL said that they were just about to leave... I wish I'd known
We haven't figured out how to deal with them but hopefully if they see us being knackered and realise that they can't play with a three week old and take him shopping/on holiday/ to restaurants they might calm down a bit... Or we'll just have to look more seriously into moving

Sorry to all those shovelling snow! I've checked the rota for our building and we're not up for path sweeping duty till April -phew!

Morgen! Waiting to take ds to his school registration doodah so have some time to post.

nutella sorry to hear you have had to go back to hospital. is all okay now? you are all adjusting to a new life, with new priorities (probably youra are as much sleep and peace and quiet?) and the ILs will have to adjust too. I hope you can find a firm way of letting them know. And of course as the baby gets older then he can spend more time with the ILs and give you a wee break.

outnumbered hope you feel better without the coil. My gynae gave me some herbal teas for my PMS and I must say they seem to help (when herbal teas do the trick - have I been here too long?)can you go on the Kur - will it work out okay with dh's new job? Hope the Frankfurt testing gives you a better feeling. are you looking for a job too?

adymlin- a teenage son who teaches himself to cook japanese? a dream come true! .

weissdorn - how did trying on dresses go? Hope it was not too stressful.

Linzer I was also a bit at the results of the referendum, but more so at the reasons. But it is also a while before DS is affected so things might change....on the other hand, this being Austria, they might not . Which reminds me I was most impressed with dd's Sachunterricht text book which explained sex and said that after organism, the man and the woman felt relaxed and happy. And I thought this was a catholic country where sex=procreation . I can't remember ever being told something like that when I was at school.

Hello to slatternly merlion and schorchienne and good luck with planning moves. I an not in germany so am afraid I am no use.

right, better go and brush my hair before going into the school. school headmisstress is always ever so dressed up (my dds are amused by her high, high heels), and I feel her judgemental up and down look whenever I meet her.

platanos at that text book! And at Volksschule, as well... I don't think even DD1 has covered more than parts of the body yet. I was talking to DH about military service yesterday and he agreed that, as Germany has only just phased it out, it will probably be a decade or two before that happens in Austria. (Are your DC Austrian citizens btw? I seem to remember you saying they have German passports.) Hope the school enrolment goes well!

Nutella Hopefully your PIL will get the message before too long, plus being sleep deprived can really magnify everything; I can remember how furious I was once when MIL phoned and woke DD1, just after I'd finally got her off to sleep - I could have cried and probably did. Once your DS is a little older and they can do more with him, you'll probably appreciate their involvement a lot more!

admylin Am very impressed by how adventurous your DS is; I wouldn't even know where to start with Japanese food. I'm not too bothered about losing my right to vote in the UK either, but it doesn't seem quite fair that I don't gain a right to vote here instead unless I relinquish my British citizenship.

outnumbered Oh, I definitely agree - it's no excuse. I get very annoyed by people who refuse to acknowledge you even if you say hello to them. And well done on your productive morning yesterday - speaking of which, I really must get on now...

DH is flying to a conference in London later on today; he was on the verge of cancelling after hearing about the chaos in Heathrow at the weekend, but apparently things are back to normal now (or so he's been assured by the conference organisers). It's a shame that it's not long since we came back from the UK; I could have given him a longer shopping list otherwise.

Linzer What do you miss the most about the UK? What do you miss food/drink wise if anything?

platanos it looks like I can go on the kur. Dh does get home very late, but the main thing is that he gets home- hopefully before da1 bedtime. And in the morning he can put him on his preschool bus and the go to work. For the arvos I have the integrationshelfer here, and late afternoon one of the babysitters will come until dh gets home. Actually I am just waiting for both our babysitters so that we can work out a rota who'll be here on which days. I just hope ds1 won't feel completely abandoned

Yes, I really want to start working a few hours again. Can't see myself teaching atm because I just don't know how and when to do preparations, marking etc. especially as languages require so much marking. I want to try and get a part time position as a pädagogische Fachkraft, which I guess would be like a teaching assistant. 'Inklusive schulen' is a big thing in Rheinland Pfalz and I have heard through the grapevine that a second primary school on Kaiserslautern had applied to be one. I am hoping that if I apply now, before its common knowledge, I might be in for a chance. I think I would enjoy that kind of work, however I am not sure I woul enjoy the lesser pay compared to teaching...

I have ds2 at home today with a feverish cough.

slatternly there will always be things you miss. I miss some foods, vegetarian varieties, typical pubs and pub lunches, wide variety of hot chocolate drinks .... But when away from Germany I miss things like the bread, the cafe culture, being able to cycle everywhere, fantastic public transport, children being able to play outside a lot, and in general big airy houses at affordable(ish) prices. There are always good and bad points about every country I guess.

linzer I hope your dh gets to the conference without major hiccups!

Right, ds2 hacking away and crying for me do better go..

admylin I have heard Cuxhaven is nice. And yes, that's where we are heading! Hopefully weather will be ok and not too cold. Getting there will be interesting though- eight hours by train! Right really must go

outnumbered oh so it would be worth us hanging onto our bikes then?

Linzer hope your dh doesn't get stuck on his way back from London (with your shopping)! What's on the list?
I don't know anything about Japanese food at all but ds just looks it all up on google and watches step by step videos on youtube.

platanos very advanced Sachunterricht there! Ds had his first round of sex info last year in year 8, a week long project week including rolling condoms over a banana, think it was called sexualkunde! Dd is doing it next month.
Hope the school registration goes smoothly.

Dd and I are thinking of doing another vegan week but she's stuck when it comes to satisfying her sweet tooth. Last time we did it she stood infront of the chocolate and sweet shelves reading all the ingredients but couldn't find anything she could buy!

slatternly the longer you're here, the less you tend to miss (I find), at first it was loads of things but now I'm down to missing marmite and branston. You might find the opening hours a bit of a pain at first too as shops are all closed on Sunday and only a few stay open later than 8pm in the week.

Oh really? Even shopping malls closed on Sunday? Wow, that is different. So if we're working all week, it's going to be a challenge then. Silly question, do you have online shopping? Like Tesco online delivery?

No internet shopping I'm afraid! Oh that's another thing I would miss if I'd ever experienced it. I left the UK before internet shopping even started. Some of the bigger supermarkets stay open until 10pm around here.

Meant to ask Nutella - no sweeping duty until April does that mean you have the whole month to do? Do you feel sorry for the Mieter who are on December and January duty?!

slatternly I miss the shops, um... that's about it really! I would probably miss online shopping too if it had been around when I lived in the UK. Most of what I miss is shopping related... there are no charity shops where we live to browse around/take things to, I miss shops like Boots and Superdrug (there is DM, but it's not the same IMO), and then there are the opening hours of course (although at least shops open on a Saturday afternoon now). Most of the other things I used to miss I've either got used to living without or can get them here somehow - my parents record British TV programmes for us (would really miss TV otherwise) and I often download Radio 4 podcasts or sometimes listen via the Internet. I do miss the Sunday papers, but I suppose that's shopping related as well. Food and drink wise, I mainly miss Cadbury's (but they've changed the taste! I might end up switching to Milka...), biscuits (especially chocolate hobnobs!) and Indian food. But like outnumbered said, there are plenty of things about life in Austria (very similar to Germany, but a few years behind ) that I'd miss if I moved back to Britain.

admylin It's a very short list this time - Omega 3s and multivitamins for the DC, a couple of magazines and I think that's it! I'd love to go too and do some book shopping, but that will have to wait until the summer.
Can you not get vegan chocolate? I'm sure I've seen it somewhere like DM or Reformhaus type places. I'd find it very difficult to live without chocolate and coffee (with milk!).

outnumbered Teaching without the preparation and marking sounds good! I think all the preparation involved was one of the things I enjoyed least when I was teaching, although I probably made it more time-consuming than it had to be.

"..at least shops open on a Saturday afternoon now..."

YY to TV, I think we'd try and get a decent wifi service and just watch 4OD BBC iPlayer, as they'd be the main ones we'd miss. I guess there's no point in getting Sky over there as we won't understand any of it! Do UK DVD's work over there? I'm not too bothered, but DS is partial to a bit of Peppa Pig now and then.

slatternly That was about 20 years ago when I lived in Berlin (I was a student and getting up in time to get to the shops before they closed for the weekend was always quite a struggle!); things have moved on since then.

Yes, British DVDs work over here without any problems; my parents send us a regular supply (for both us and the DC). Not sure about watching 4OD and iPlayer abroad, though; you never used to be able to watch iPlayer overseas (although there were ways round it/you could subscribe to sites that would give you access), but I think they may have introduced a subscription service now, albeit with fewer programmes available IIRC.

On balance, I'm sure I'd miss more things about life here if we moved back to the UK than what I miss at the moment. IME health care is excellent in both Germany and Austria; I can put up with missing hobnobs (which I can import anyway) if it means I get access to good healthcare! It's also more common to see specialists here, e.g. you routinely take your DC to a paediatrician, go to a gynaecologist for smear tests etc. and can go to a dermatologist for skin checks.