2013 ist schon da! A new Kaffeeklatsch thread for the New Year - living in Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

All welcome - whether you're living in Germany or Austria, have questions about life in those countries or just want to chat.

Previous thread here.

Oh dear... sorry... I flounced in, introduced myself and then disappeared for three weeks and didn't respond to any of your hellos. I've had hideous morning sickness and have generally stayed away from, well, everything :S Thank you very much for the lovely welcome :) It is my first pregnancy, yes, I'm now almost 11 weeks now and yes, DH is German :) We're in Wiesbaden, both working in Mainz, and have been here for 3 years.

I am TOTALLY fed up with the weather!! Such lovely sunshine all week whilst I was in the office and now we're expecting snow again? Hmph.

Hi bingeddybongo hope the morning sickness is better soon. Have you had to have time off work?

Nutella I bet your ds will miss having grandma around. Is the next visit planned already?

cheas how long did you have to wait for your Brötchen in the end? Hope it wasn't too long.

platanos hope you're not feeling too bad today. Batch cooking is the way to go isn't it?! I try to have 5 days worth of different dishes in the freezer especially dahl and curries because then I only have a house smelling like an Indian restaurant on the one day that I cook it all!

lentil thanks for that link, interesting. Raw food diet would be hard work but I might try and stay vegan for a while and see if that helps. I guess I'd be on a half raw diet as I love salads.

I wonder if I now have an in-built weather station in my arthritis fingers! Last night my littel finger was going mad, throbbing away and stopping me sleeping then I woke up this morning to snow! I'll be able to predict weather changes now won't I?!

Off to fight on with dd's music video homework now, wish us luck!

Argh I can't help it I am going to say it - doesn't the fact Admylin is a long term veggie with vegan tenancies kind of negate the suggestion that red meat causes arthritis!

Ahhhh mrtumbles I agree.

IMHO it's rather boring to live carefully to hope to avoid things that might happen. All those things that seem to be good one minute and bad the next ie: coffee is bad for you this week, drink coffee to live longer next week. I know someone whose grandfather died from throat cancer;
It might have been caused by a lifetime of drinking tea too hot .

Of course avoiding things that you know disagree with you is common sense. I wouldn't for example give up something I enjoyed unless it made a difference to me now IYSWIM.

admylin I'm not sure who will miss grandma more, me or DS
You'll have to keep us updated with your weather fingers

Argh, I can't help but reply. Vegetarianism is not much like veganism. I believe dairy is worse for our health than meat. You can ignore or accept. I merely posted something that I hoped admylin might find some worth in, she is free to give it a go and see if it helps, or not. Sure, we can all lead healthy dull lives. Me, I don't. I try to lead a healthy fulfilling happy life. Just because I am vegan doesn't mean it is all lentils and lettuce. I FELT better for giving up meat, and I felt even better for giving up dairy. I didn't say red meat causes arthritis. I posted a link to an article where someone states that their symptoms were alleviated by cutting out meat and dairy, hoping that it might help someone else. Was that wrong of me?

bing, welcome back. Sorry to hear about the morning sickness. Hm, give up meat and dairy and it will disappear! That was a joke. It's usually nice and supportive in here. Hope you feel better soon, and can enjoy your pregnancy.

Lentils I agree its lovely that this thread is supportive, the uncontested vegan evangelism grates with me the same way that it would if we had an Evangelical Christian on the thread who mentioned almost every time she posted that turning to the lord would solve somebody's problems, and posted an anecdote to illustrate .... however no it wasn't "wrong" of you to post of course - by exactly the same token there is nothing "wrong" with other posters occasionally taking issue with posts... Not being allowed to ever question whether what other posters write is accurate goes beyond supportive towards daft and inane... Live and let live and respecting other people's choices is great but doesn't extend to never voicing disagreement.

I really didn't think I was evangelical at all about veganism, not on here. I have posted a couple of links recently because I have been specifically asked to.
Sure, it's one anecdote, and I didn't tell admylin that following that diet would cure her, merely highlighted an article that she is free to ignore, or see if it helps her. No harm intended at all.
I do take exception to your comment 'live and let live' though. That isn't what meat-eaters do at all!

Anyway. Love and peace, I have to sign out now. Wishing you all a happy Mother's Day.

Oh dear. Live and let live applies to human life, but I suspect getting into that topic is a very bad idea as we will never, ever, agree, and the ridiculous argument that saying animals and people are not directly comparable is the same as eugenics will pop up...

off to cook a nice rare steak

My father has very strong Christian beliefs and if anyone dares question them, and how he reconciles them with his career as a medical doctor, he says "Don't talk about what you don't understand" by which he means if you don't agree with me don't talk to me about that topic...

Ah good, looks like I've stumbled into an interesting debate ;) I have actually given up dairy because it was making me feel sick, but I'm basically listening to my body and avoiding/eating what it wants, and the eating part definitely includes red meat .

I don't eat much meat or fish in general anyway - I also feel better for it, but I wouldn't like to survive entirely without it! I think it's an important part of a balanced diet but believe it should be considered a bit more of a luxury - I like to see it as a treat . Maybe that's from my dad banging on about having "everything in moderation" ever since I can remember! Anyway, I have to eat wheat-free because I have a horrible intolerance to it, which cuts out a lot of (really ruddy delicious) things, so am finding all the extra pregnancy things I have to avoid complicated enough without cutting anything else out!

bingeddybongo same here, I think it's good to basically listen to your body and avoid or eat what it wants. My 13 year old dd decided she wanted to try a vegan week of eating (after watching Ellen!) so I joined her and I found that cutting out the dairy stuff really helped with my frequent stomach problems.

Lentil I honestly don't think you have ever been evangelical at all on here about veganism. Any time it's come up on this thread is because you have been specifically asked about it as a few of us on here are interested.
Have you got snow too in Frankfurt? Still snowing here this morning and the snow ploughs were running around at 4am this morning!

Nutella I bet you'll miss your mum too, it's so nice to have adult company all day long isn't it? No chance of my dc's grandparents visiting as they're off on a cruise somewhere near one of the American continents!

Whoopee - dd's video advert is edited atlast. Ds did it after I'd sat trying for ages, he popped it on his usb stick, went into his room and returned with it all finished 10 minutes later! No idea what he did but he's a genius (to me)!

Tumbles I could have done with someone like your dad last night! Dd had to answer the question: why is/was Jesus important for christians? She wouldn't take any of my ideas as she doesn't think I can possibly know (and I'm not very convincing where religion comes in) and she just found it all abit unbelievable. This is for Werte und Normen by the way where they are studying all the major world religions one by one this year.

admylin Good news on the advert; you must be so relieved! Are you parents not interested in visiting you? My parents don't visit us, but they don't travel full stop.

cheas DS is mainly wearing 110 now, but would have been in 104 when we met in the summer. I've just checked and his winter jacket is actually 116 - but agree that your DD is unlikely to reach the same size by next winter.
I'm quite tempted to order some bras, but am sitting on my hands for the moment! I'm not so keen on the Brastop styles for everyday wear; M&S is more to my taste, but of course they don't have my size (although am thinking that even a 30C would be an improvement on 34AA).

platanos Hope you're feeling better this morning. DD1 wouldn't be seen dead in a skirt either, btw; it's not so long ago that she used to refuse to wear anything pink/purple/obviously meant for a girl.

Nutella Must be lovely to have grandma around to help out. Do you have any plans to take your DS back to the UK for a visit?

Interesting discussion about dairy; I'm aware that I rely on it far too much for protein, but my diet needs an overhaul anyway. I've never been able to stomach red meat - probably because we never ate it at home - and have memories of trying to smuggle it out of school in my purse (you had to eat up all your school dinner)!

admylin There are lots of different versions of Christianity, so that question isn't that easy to answer, is it? Jesus is the Son of God, or God in human form, and his death atones for all the sins ever committed and that will ever be committed by his followers. Therefore a Christian mass-murderer can go to heaven, but I won't (unless I convert on my deathbed, or something). Fortunately, Jesus is supposed to have said a lot of eminently sensible, socially-cohesive stuff like "love thy neighbour" and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and anything in the Bible that is less friendly doesn't count . hth!

Glad your ds could sort out the film project. I'm pretty computer-literate, but I've never used video-editing software and I've no idea whether I have any on any of our computers, so I don't blame you for being annoyed with the teacher for setting that project.

bingeddy nice to "see" you back on here, but sorry to hear about the morning sickness. Is it easing off now, or are you just managing it by avoiding the foods that seem to set it off? Sounds like it must be very hard finding things you can eat atm!

mrtumbles I also think you're being a bit unfair accusing lentils of vegangelism on this thread. But I agree that you should be able to challenge statements or views that you don't agree with and I'm afraid, lentils, that I've read such wildly inaccurate claims on Natural News in the past that I find it hard to accept anything on there as reliable.

I've got a completely free day today after my frantically busy last week. The orchestra still want me to play for the performance tomorrow, but can't tell me whether the oboist I'm covering for is likely to be back by next weekend. It's been a lot of fun and it's made me wonder whether to apply for the position that will be vacant from next season. There are so many reasons not to, though - travelling time, childcare, audition preparation, audition nerves, difficult colleague (two players came up to me yesterday to warn me how hellish it would be to work with the other oboist full-time), the likelihood of the theatre being closed down for good in 2016 (that wouldn't be my biggest worry, but if I did manage to get pg then that would cause them yet more headaches) .

Sorry, didn't mean to ignore you bingeddy - good to see you back and hope the morning sickness is better soon.

Sorry if I was being unfair, I just feel sometimes the vegan thing is a bit of an elephant in the room and nobody is "allowed" to disagree or point out logical inconsistencies, we all have to do the virtual equivalent of smile and nod. Although I do love that this thread is much more warm and fuzzy and supportive than most of MN I don't think that means we all have to politely ignore things that are logically inconsistent plugs for a lifestyle choice... This is part of MN after all, even though we're a backwater :o

admylin well done to your DS for sorting your DD's homework! It shouldn't have to be that way of course, but good for him, bet your DD is relieved! I would be very tempted to be facetious and point out that Jesus is important for Christians because their belief that he is the son of g/God is what prompted them to stop being Jewish and set up a new religion :o I guess beyond that I would discuss the difference between old and new testament teachings, critically the increased emphasis on forgiveness rather than revenge (turn the other cheek and people who live in glass houses not throwing stones, theoretically replacing an eye for an eye) ... As cheas says though lumping all Christians together in the question probably makes any answer by necessity somewhat broad an banal - I expect it would be easy to write a Masters Degree thesis on the different ways the Jesus figure is important to different denominations, let alone if more extremist sects were also considered... I must say I am cheered by the fact your children will be learning about different world religions though, I hope that comes about too - the "Christianity is truth and don't mention any other religion, let alone, shock horror, agnosticism, atheism, humanism etc." approach that Grundschule (and Kindergarten) take her in Bavaria really gets my heckles up!

In fact I dislike anyone anywhere promoting a world view and taking offence at being challenged ;)

Nutella glad you enjoyed your mum's visit

Bingedy I hope you are with the luckier majority and "morning" sickness passes for you soon - I had it quite badly with DD but not much at all with the boys, just some vague background nausia - with DD it eased a lot by about 13 weeks as far as I remember, which I think is quite common.

Plantanos how strange of the school objecting to your DD's hair, when they don't even have uniform here! I remember a girl at school having her hair cut at a barber's in a very masculine cut and getting in trouble, but it didn't stop her keeping it that way (we had to wear uniform which included a skirt - trousers were only allowed if it was announced in assembly the previous day that it was cold enough!). Another girl also got into trouble at the same time for dying her hair school uniform blue :o

Oh also - the Jews are still waiting for the messiah to walk on earth aren't they, whereas Christians have already ticked that off, so have only got the apocalypse to look forward too :o

cheas that's more or les swhat I was trying to get over to dd (I have quite a few books about the history of religion) but it wa simpossible for her to accept the idea. She must have inherited my atheist genes. So has ds, he's taking The God Delusion to read in English class next week!
Would the job mean driving so far every day if you took it on full time? Although maybe if the atmosphere isn't good then it wouldn't be worth it.

Linzer I can't really say if my parents don't want to visit or just haven't got time. No idea. They travel alot and have busy social lives I suppose and maybe Germany doesn't appeal to them. Still, I like to imagine that I would go and visit my grandchildren as often as possible even if they lived abroad. Sounds like it's a different case with your parents as they don't travel at all. Aren't you off to visit them soon?

Just got back from Aldi and what a load of bad mooded women there were out there today. Tutting and pushing and leaving their trolley in the middle of the aisle so you couldn't get past. As I squeezed past one of them I got 'sag ein Ton' yelled at me how I wish I had some quick answers in German, I mumbled 'alles klar'!

cheas sorry meant to say the job sounds exciting but also stressful, especially due to the personalities - good luck deciding!

admylin when I accidentally go to Aldi on a Monday morning I always walk out somewhat shell shocked! I do do a bit of passive aggressive chatting (in English) to my toddler about silly rude ladies (and the occassional old man) sometimes though - I expect some of them understand and some don't :o

Tumbles dd was horrified when I mentioned the word Jew when I was explaining the Jesus thing to her - 'no mum, don't even go near there - we're doing Jews next'! I had to laugh.

I had a bottle green school uniform and no one was allowed to step out of line and coloured hair meant suspension and repeat culprits were expelled! I'm so glad our dc don't have to be bothered by that sort of thing although it did feel strange when dd set off to school with 5 different coloured nailvarnished nails the first time. I was saying are you sure you won't get into trouble!

Wow, you went to strict schools. My school had a very complicated uniform policy - maroon ties only until Y9, then any colour allowed; charcoal grey skirt/trousers and maroon jumper, but black allowed from Y10, t-shirts must have collars, etc., but in practice we were all wearing round-necked white tshirts with black trousers and jumper by the end of Y7. Sixth-formers, travellers and anyone whose parents really cared enough to persistently challenge the school were allowed to wear what they wanted .

mrtumbles yes, a very difficult decision, and I haven't even mentioned the idea to dh yet! Last week was pretty hard on him, too, as dd is used to me putting her to bed and gets upset when I'm not there. And yet the feminist side of me thinks I should be able to choose to work and not have to think, oh but my dd needs me.

I've worked with this other oboist before without any difficulties, but I can appreciate what the others were saying about her - she likes to dish it out, but can't take criticism herself. She is moving to the second position, which should be less stressful for her, but she's not going to get a radical personality transplant. The colleagues said "ich würde es mir nicht antun", "es ist sehr anstrengend", "er hat vieles über sich gehen lassen müssen" and that she would "fertigmachen" anyone very young who might get the job!

All orchestral musicians are over-sensitive or arrogant twonks, or both - I simply can't rule out my own over-sensitivity coming to the fore and wearing me down, especially as the mere logistics of doing the job would be stressful enough. Aargh!

Sorry, linzer, wanted to reply to you as well. I've ordered the 104 for dd, hopefully it will arrive quickly, but if it's the wrong size I may just ask at kiga if we can borrow a jacket for the skiing trip.

I also found the selection at brastop a bit lacking in the sort of bra I would usually wear, but I guess if you're designing a bra that will go up to size 40k or something, then you probably don't design it with moulded/padded cups. I would guess you would be much better off with a 30 than a 34 band, too, even if it isn't quite the right size - don't you have problems with the straps slipping off your shoulders? I haven't looked at Bravissimo's website yet, maybe they have a better selection?

I've been lurking for the past week or so but haven't had chance to post. DS is having a nap and I'm having a sandwich and taking advantage of the peace and quiet to catch up.

admylin Sorry to hear about your arthritis. Well done to your DS for sorting your DD's assignment for her. It does seem a little unfair that the DC with the tech-savvy parents and the right software are the ones who end up with the better marks and that the teachers don't take that into account.

cheas The job sounds exciting but you do sound like you've almost made up your mind not to apply for it. Good luck with the application if you do go for it! How are you getting on without caffeine and sweet things during the week? I haven't had tea or coffee for over a week now (and it's taken almost that long for the headache to subside) and managed a whole week of no sweet treats but baked some brownies at the weekend so had a few of them yesterday.

Hi bingeddy! I've also lived in Wiesbaden for the past three years! Whereabouts are you? (Feel free not to answer, I sometimes forget that this is a public board and not a nice, cosy, private chat.)

How are you thinking of changing your diet, Linzer? I realised today that most of the expats I know in Germany or on this thread are either vegetarians or vegans. Good luck with the bra hunt. I'm tempted to have a go at measuring myself the way cheas did and try a few different sizes as even after being measured a few months ago I still don't seem to own any bras that fit nicely and it's beginning to irritate me.

platanos Hope you're feeling better!

Nutella GLad you had a nice time with your mum. Hope this week is a better week in terms of things going well.

Hello MrTumbles, Ploom, Lentils and anyone else I've missed!

I'm off for a cup of (ginger and lemon) tea while DS snoozes, although I'd probably put money on him waking the moment I sit down with it

Oh Bingeddy I meant to add: Hope the morning sickness subsides soon. Have you been tempted to whack anyone who says 'Have you tried ginger' yet?

Well done on giving up the caffeine, antique. I haven't been really tempted to drink any coffee since giving up (had a massive cup of decaf between rehearsals on Thursday which was great) and I hardly ever drink black tea so that's not difficult either. Sweets have been another matter entirely the past week, though - have been scoffing Jaffa Cakes and Lachgummis on my late night car journeys to keep me awake through the boring motorway tunnels. I actually think limiting sugar to home-baked treats only would be a really good thing to do, but I am always tempted by the goodies in the bakery.

What do you reckon - no sugar from now until Easter weekend? No, hang on, I need to eat Kaiserschmarrm in Austria . How about no sugar until school holidays start in two weeks?

No refined sugar is also the change I would ideally make to my diet - I think its what would make the most noticeable difference, as when I have managed 48 hours without I find I have more "spring" in my step first thing, rather than dragging myself out of bed (not that I ever wake up in bed, but the mattress on the boys' floor where I end up due to Ds2's night waking). It is a bit chicken and egg with me though, as I only have the strength of mind to resist sweet treats when I am less tired anyway, so hard to tell the tiredness from sleep deprivation from the sugar rollercoaster side effects! I have no inclination to give anything else up, but think cutting out refined sugar (or limiting it to special occassions/ things like home baked birthday cakes etc. ) and limiting carbs is my long term healthy aim, when my state of semi permanent sleep deprivation recedes enough for me to face life without the crutch!