Der Nebel steigt, es fällt das Laub - a German and Austrian autumn thread

[AntiqueMuppet]

A thread for anyone living in Germany or Austria, or anyone else who fancies a chat.

Previous thread here

admylin What's a Lötstation - is it something to do with soldering or have I got the wrong end of the stick? (Am intrigued; I realise I could probably google it. )

Hope your and cheas' headaches are better soon. I'm amazed I don't have a permanent headache as I just don't drink anything healthy (I've heard that a high percentage of headaches can be cured by having some water). I don't know if you saw my FB status about being forced to drink wine because the Buschenschank had no coffee (no hot drinks at all, in fact); I did order a glass of Holundersaft initially, but had a few sips and that was enough for me!

Am getting slightly annoyed about the other parents (well, the majority of them) in DD1's class. We're trying to organise a Heurigenabend for them to get to know each other, sent out an e-mail a couple of weeks ago saying could they let us know by tomorrow whether they can make it or not, had five replies almost immediately saying that they could - and the other 14 haven't bothered letting us know. I sent out a reminder e-mail yesterday asking (in bold!) if they could let us know even if they can't make it as we need to book tables at the Heuriger, but still no responses as yet. I'm wondering if it's a language thing as the only parents to have replied are Austrian, although surely most of them would be up to telling us whether they're coming or not? I printed out the e-mail for the three families whose e-mail addresses we don't have and even included a slip to return at the bottom where they only needed to tick yes or no, and only one family (not surprisingly, the Austrian one) bothered returning the slip. I wouldn't mind if I thought they were going to reply at the last minute as I'm not always the most organised person myself, but I just have the feeling they're not going to bother.

Gosh, I missed tons while my dps were here! Hope everyone is doing ok and the weather is still reasonable. Now things have more or less got back to normal I will be better at keeping up! Hope you're all having good evenings!

I had the overzealous nurse today... she weighed me heavy, again! Really annoying, she pushed up the slidey scale and it was too heavy; then she moved it back about 300 -400g and in the end rounded it up to what she had put it on in the first place!!! so when the Dr said that I'd put on a lot this time I said I found that different nurses make a difference (checked it when I got home and was 500g lighter than at the Dr's so I don't mind telling tales :) )

Sorry, I was there for the 28 week check up. They did a scan to check the measurements of the baby too and the baby is schlank but within normal parameters... the head however is slightly above average in size... thanks DP and your lovely big head

Cake I will be flying into Stansted on Wednesday night. Then going to Watford (to my little bro's) might pop into London on the Thurs (see if I feel up to it and if I can drag mother along :) ) then Friday hanging out with little bro (and mum, who is also flying in on Wednesday from France), Saturday we are off to Stratford on Avon to see the other brothers and I fly home Sunday Lunch time. Phew. It's sounds hectic but I don't actually have to do much... except fill my suitcase :)

And yes, I got my fit to fly letter cost 7? something which I thought was fairly reasonable. DP is hoping we can do the baby 3D at the next appointment too... I find the pictures a bit creepy but it's up to DP. But I was at the Dr's for two hours! And now they want me to sit for 30 minutes every time I go to listen to the heartbeat... I was fed up almost as soon as I sat down (hate sitting around with nothing to do.. they hadn't warned me last time so I didn't have a magazine or anything either!) :( DP was telling me it was great to be able to hear it and he was really happy... but after about 10 minutes he'd had enough too :)

I'm sorry about my whingeyness today, I'm really tired! Hope the headaches get better! I will read more in detail tomorrow. going to prepare for tomorrow morning's lesson and then I might go to bed early...

Linzer I can hardly imagine that it is a language thing, as your text must be simple enough for everyone to understand, as I am sure to navigate life in Austria will require some sort of language skill...

Not everyone reads email on a regular basis...know plenty of people professional academic Germans and Americans who don't.

And maybe it is a cultural thing...many parents are not interested in "getting-to-know" one another on that level...

Would that be possible? And yes, for many (especially since you are pointing out that it's mainly the non-native Austrians) not responding and letting it slip and hope not to be asked again or pretend afterwards it got forgotten or something came up etc...would be the route to go instead of responding clearly with a 'No'.

Maybe ?!

Linzer I can hardly imagine that it is a language thing, as your text must be simple enough for everyone to understand, as I am sure to navigate life in Austria will require some sort of language skill...

Not everyone reads email on a regular basis...know plenty of people professional academic Germans and Americans who don't.

And maybe it is a cultural thing...many parents are not interested in "getting-to-know" one another on that level...

Would that be possible? And yes, for many (especially since you are pointing out that it's mainly the non-native Austrians) not responding and letting it slip and hope not to be asked again or pretend afterwards it got forgotten or something came up etc...would be the route to go instead of responding clearly with a 'No'.

Maybe ?!

Thanks for the Black Forest and castles tips. I do love castles. We have been to one with DS in August, he managed fine but maybe isn't the age to enjoy it fully. Still, start as we mean to go on.

Linzer, that does seem rude, maybe some emails went to their spam folders though?

Nutella ah yes, you and Cake are having Christmas babies, that does possibly mean you need to be a bit more prepared re the shops not being open.
I needed DH to go and get me a breast pump, as I was producing loads, and hand expressing was a chore. Such a relief he could dash out and get one for me immediately. I'd also stock up on sanitary towels (really I'd advise cloth ones, so you never run out) and breast pads (cloth too - nicer on the skin). I also had to send my bro out for some arnica cream for bruising, as DS was back to back and my coccyx was in agony. But of or the baby, I really didn't need much.
I would absolutely recommend cloth nappies too - as long as your washing machine doesn't bp break down, you will never run out.

tadj, welcome back!

antique, awesome news re the home. Hope you are in for Christmas.

But of or the baby = but for the baby! :)

world Language is definitely an issue for some parents; at least one family, who moved here a year ago, speak very little German and DH phoned another parent to get his e-mail address and said that it was very difficult as he (the other father) just didn't seem to understand what DH wanted. But you're right; it's probably more of a cultural issue than a language one on the whole. We have absolutely no problems with parents not being able to/wanting to come, but just wish they'd tell us!

I think part of the problem is that some people will assume most of the others will reply so it doesn't make any difference if they don't, especially if they're not planning on coming anyway. Whereas, in reality, we've heard back from less than a quarter of the class. I suppose we just have to assume that none of the rest will be coming. Anyway, rant over!

Vegans I found a breast pump invaluable in the early days too. Some advise against using one until your supply is established, but I didn't have any problems with using one very early on and was also able to borrow one while I was still in hospital after DS was born. Agree that the baby him/herself doesn't need a huge amount, although I did find you could never have enough onesies!

Hi jenny; hope you had a lovely time with your parents.

Hello linzer . It is frustrating and I can imagine that many will think exactly as you said, as in well I might be the only one not responding etc. I truly believe from my experiences that this sort of "get together thing" is not something many folks from other cultures like or care about. Many also come from cultures where school is a place the children go to and parents wouldn't have much dealings with the rest other than when there are obligatory appointments.
I also remember that this didn't use to be so unusual for German culture as well. In my school days, parents showed up for Elternabend and Elternsprechtag, and it wasn't uncommon for only ONE parent to show up, nothing else was expected, I mean who else was going to watch the child or other children during that time and no-one would have made a fuss of getting a babysitter or grandparents to mind them, only so BOTH parents could attend...
I believe the most involvement was a Sommerfest,Theateraufführung, Jubiläumsfeier etc.
But again, these were also times were arranged playdates and lots of "organised parenting" also wasn't much the norm, so being getting to know other parents also would have seemed odd...and I could imagine many parents coming from other countries where what used to be normal and the norm here a while ago is still something they know from their own home countries...anyway linzer it is still annoying, I agree

linzer I guess if neither parent is hugely confident in writing German, that may well put them off replying. I'm rubbish at answering those kind of things, especially if I can't do so immediately because I have to ask DH first if he's free. I guess a reminder email would galvanise me into replying though.

I wish there was some way we could sit down for a real coffee and a chat! I have so many questions about working as a translator and don't know anyone who does it in RL to ask. It doesn't help that I am periodically prone to getting obsessed with things, mostly in an unproductive way, ie. I read lots and lots, but don't actually do anything practical .

nutella the weekly CTG seemed like overkill to me, too. I don't know how expectant mums with less flexible work schedules manage it tbh. I guess it's the German equivalent of the count-the-kicks campaign, I suppose it's reassuring, but I'm not sure whether I'll agree to it second time round (if, if!)

I was rubbish at expressing, although I bought a breast pump. DD wouldn't drink from a bottle anyway, so it was only good for making DH feel more prepared when I went out in the evening. So I would advise not buying one until you know you're going to stick with bf, or get one at the last minute and take it back once the shops open again if you want to have one just in case - all the biggish drogerie-märkte have them.

Must go and get ready - in rehearsals today from 11am until 9pm .

Morning!

linzer - dh and I are guilty of never going to the kind of night out you're organising but I'm now worried that dh never replies to say we're not going (altho I dont know for sure since the email goes to him). But I'm sure from dd's class it was just an open invitation - if it had expressly asked for a reply then its rude not to let you know. You sound like a saint for carrying on those English lessons - too amused that the teacher thought the lesson was aimed at your dd's level - that would surely have left the rest of the class in the dark.

Hi jenny - hope you had a lovely time with your parents.

Wow nutella - that sounds like a busy trip to the UK. But a fun one too! Glad all was ok at the check up - it still impresses me how much more thorough they are here at antenatal check ups compared to the UK - in the UK it really was urine, BP and baby's heartbeat for 30 seconds unless there were any problems. Think I'd have liked all these check ups (paranoid pregnant woman that I was) .

admylin - is a lötstation something to do with soldering? Why does she want that for her birthday?? Hope your headache is better today (and cheas's too).

cheas - what were you recording? that sounds really interesting? dd has started playing the violin again and I've said too often this week "if you stick at it you can play in orchestra's like cheas does!" (obviously didnt call you cheas to dd). Wait till I tell her you were in a recording studio - that will really impress her .

antique about the house. Fingers crossed for you that you find a Nachmeiter.

hupa - I feel I've got some kind of obsession with Lorraine Pascale at the moment. I just find her recipes really simple but tasty. Am always put off a recipe if there's a huge list of ingredients but hers are often things I have at home anyway.

Patiently hanging about on the computer waiting to skype with a friend this morning. Its the anniversary of my friend dying so we're planning a nice reminisce about her.

In the meantime, we've heard back from one parent who can't come - hurrah! (Not that they can't come, but that they've actually let us know. ) Still don't know about three-quarters of the class, but it's progress.

world Here, it's quite normal for only one parent to go to school events. At the primary school Elternabend last month, I think there were only 1-2 sets of parents in each class (DD2's and DS's) where both parents went. I'll be going to the Elternsprechtag on my own next month and I've only ever been to the Sommerfeste on my own (which I really don't enjoy and I wish DH could go instead, but unfortunately he doesn't feel inclined to take the afternoon off work ).

I can understand parents not wanting to come along to get-togethers. But is it also a cultural thing to not even respond to invitations? (Was speaking to a friend about this the other day as she said that there's a boy in her class from a non-Austrian background and he never replies to birthday party invitations.) I should probably point out that we haven't heard anything from three Austrian families either, who definitely have no language-related excuses! (And I should also point out that I'm often also very disorganised and if I don't reply to e-mails straight away, tend to forget about them. )

Ploom If it had been an open invitation, I wouldn't have expected parents to necessarily reply. Maybe we should just have said that if you don't reply, we'll assume you're not coming (and there won't be a table for you!).

Hope the skype goes OK. (Is that even a noun?) It's a nice way of remembering your friend, although I can imagine it must be quite upsetting at the same time.

cheas yy to obsessing and doing lots of reading but nothing practical! It's a shame you're not a bit closer as you'd be very welcome to come over for coffee otherwise. Feel free to ask any questions you may have; I'll also have a look through my old ITI Bulletins to see if they have any useful articles. I'm in the very slow process of decluttering them and have already passed on a few to Antique. Even if I'm not sure about the answers to specific questions, I have quite a few friends who translate either freelance or in-house who I can ask.

Re expressing, I threw 95% of my milk away as DD1 had a weekly bottle between about 2 and 4 months (and then we didn't give her one for a few weeks and she refused completely) and the other two wouldn't take a bottle at all. I never managed to express much after the first few weeks - but didn't really need to - and only had a cheap manual Avent pump, but it did the job. (If you're expressing to actually feed the baby, I think an electric one would be much better but I wouldn't advise buying one before the baby is born and, like cheas says, you really need to know that you're going to stick with bfing).

I didn't realise that weekly CTGs are routine in Germany. I didn't have one until 38 weeks here and none at all in the USA (I was very glad that I did have one here with DS, as I ended up having to have an EMCS the same day).

Sorry, mammoth post - for anyone who's made it through to the end!

Maybe we should just have said that if you don't reply, we'll assume you're not coming (and there won't be a table for you!)

That sounds good

Linzer sounds exactly like what I experienced in Berlin. I was Elternsprecher and some times there was only 3 parents at an Elternabend for ds's class. I tried to make a telephone list but only half the class agreed to it! In dd's class here at Gymnasium a few parents tried to do a getting to know each other event but no one was interested and I got the idea that the teacher wasn't either (they asked him to join).

cheas good luck with the translating! I'm like you, I read, collect and save stuff but never get any further! I have files and files of teaching English info, grammar, exercises etc but will never use it!

ploom hope the skype connection worked out. Yes, Lötstation is a little mini soldering set with stand and bits and bobs that I have no idea what they're for! Dd made something once at a Messe Austellung (a metal penny farthing bike) and since then has wanted her own soldering set! I'd rather have got her a glue gun thing but it's done now!

Pouring down here today. Since last term when I had to pay for a borrowed school book because it got damp on the walk home in torrential rain I won't let the dc out of the house without rain coats and umbrellas so they're atleast all set to get home relatively dry without me havig to pick them up!

Nutella can your DH hear the baby's heartbeat through your tummy now? Someone else on here said it so I got DH to lie with his ear on my bump, and he could hear it! It was nice as he was really pleased plus he got to have an experience with the baby for once that I couldn't (not that flexible!)

Hmm I'm wondering if we need a breast pump now...

only 3 parents at an Elternabend for ds's class

I have no understanding for this, I know it's totally judgemental, but I don't care as i cannot stand parents with an attitude like that.
But what does that say about the school and the teacher and their "parents-managment-skills"?!
A private get-together IS different, but to snub an Elternabend, well...

Cake It's very hard to say beforehand as, even if you do bf, you may find you never need to pump. I would only get one if you knew you could return it if you didn't need it, as cheas suggests. I wasted money on a bottle warmer that I used all of about twice. And also ended up with a ridiculous amount of dummies (all of which I got for free), although at least I managed to sell some of those on eBay.

admylin The Heurigenabend was actually the teacher's idea, but DH said he'd organise it. We're also putting together a list with the parents' details and have said we'll include everyone unless they opt out. When the teacher was collecting the e-mail addresses for us, she said that one child's mother didn't want to pass on her e-mail address but she didn't send us back the slip on the printout saying that she wanted to opt out, so I'm not sure what we'll do about her.

How annoying about the school books. I suppose that's one advantage of the children being given them here, although it means we accumulate a huge amount of text and exercise books every year. DH has said we can go through them and see what we need when the last child leaves primary school! In the meantime, we have six boxes and counting.

world Yes, we've learned from experience and will definitely do that next time!

Linzer what is a Heurigenabend?

A Heuriger is a wine tavern; the name can also apply to this year's wine or even new potatoes (heuer is Austrian for "this year"). So our Heurigenabend is a get-together at a Heuriger, carefully selected to be within walking distance of our house so that both DH and I can drink. We're in a wine-growing area, so there's lots of choice!

It sounds sooooo nice. I would come . No seriously, thanks for this great explanation!

Argh Linzer how do you put up those blimin' ignorant, entitled, arrogant teachers you have to deal with when you teach at your DDs' school - you'd have thought they were doing you a favour allowing you to prepare and teach their classes for free, the way they seem to treat you! How annoying to that the parents can't be bothered to at least let you know thy aren't coming to your get together.

world "I also remember that this didn't use to be so unusual for German culture as well. In my school days, parents showed up for Elternabend and Elternsprechtag, and it wasn't uncommon for only ONE parent to show up, nothing else was expected, I mean who else was going to watch the child or other children during that time and no-one would have made a fuss of getting a babysitter or grandparents to mind them, only so BOTH parents could attend..." tbh I don't actually get why 2 parents need to go either - why? My DH has never set foot inside DD's school - I go to everything and take notes. My only gripe is I'd really like him to go and me stay home with the kids as he is the native German speaker, but in all honesty my German is good enough now and I understand everything, I just struggle to form my questions and it is agony having to ask a question in front of the teacher and 30 parents in comprehensible but inaccurate German, yet sometimes it is necessary. Last time I sat by a mum I knew well and whispered to her what I wanted to ask and she wrote it down in corrected Gemran for me though! I don't actually get why both parents need to go at all, and it just isn't feasible with 3 children, one of whom is a toddler who sleeps poorly - I wouldn't ask anyone but my PIL to babysit all 3 as long as the toddler is likely to wake, and for them to do so they'd have to stay the night really, as they live an hour's drive away and these things finish late - overkill IMO!

Nutella I loved having to sit and listen to the heart beat when I was pregnant with DC2 and 3, as it never happens in England (the midwife has a quick listen with a stethoscope) and it was an excuse to have to sit peacefully - but then I always have a book in my bag, plus I am lazy and had other small children :) I used to take DD to my apts but she would sit and draw on the floor at my feet (she wouldn't have been so docile at home) and when I was pregnant with DC3 both the older 2 were at Kindergarten, so I got half an hour of enforced peace when I couldn't possibly be expected to feel guilty I wasn't doing anything else :) I must admit once I had heard the heart beat for a minute or two each time that stopped being the reason I was sitting there in my mind though!!

Oops I have to get DS1 from KiGA

cake I never needed a breast pump, I had one but only used it when I wanted to leave expressed milk for DD when she started nursery, but she wouldn't drink it (I had filled my freezer with litres of the stuff) and in the end I resigned from my job (not because she didn't drink expressed milk obviously :) but it meant she wasn't in nursery long anyway). I think I still have one though and could send it if you don't mind second hand, obviously it is all plastic and gets sterilized anyway... not 100% sure, have barely started sorting yet

Waves at everyone else, got to rush now!

English yes it is overkill. I don't mean that both have to go, but that's what I am seeing here as a new development as well...and then there is too much of getting to know one another and having this forced exchange.

I am sure your German must be great, I could hardly imagine otherwise.

Hello!

Just a quick post as I'm taking advantage of DS being totally knocked out after zooming around playgroup all morning to pack for our trip to Austria next week.

Breast pumps - I had to pump quite a lot for the first few weeks to get my supply up and I had a prescription from the hospital for a breast pump from the Apotheke (no charge, just a deposit we got back when we returned) for 4 weeks. I hadn't even thought of buying one before the birth (actually I don't think I even knew they existed) and once my supply was up I as glad to see the back of the thing. It was a really good one as well, that I wouldn't have been able to justify buying. Plus I had a lot of bf problems so gave up after 3 months so am glad I didn't pay out for one - like the others said, it's maybe only worth it if you bf for a bit longer.

Possibly not helpful information at all, just wanted to let whoever was asking know that you may be able to get one that way too if you need one.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

You too. Enjoy your trip!!!

Cake it was me who suggested getting DH to listen to the hearbeat :) because the first time DP tried all he got was a lot of punching/kicking in the face :o . Glad your DH could hear it too.
DP was talking to the bump the other night and the bean wriggled away almost the whole time which he loved - awwww cute man my one :).

Thank you everyone for all the breast pump tips, it is really useful to hear your experiences! I have no idea so think I'll first see how we get on and then figure it out from there...

English if I'd been prepared for sitting there for half an hour I'd have been happier. But I also had to hold one of the pads so that it could pick up the HB ... and I was cold :( but really glad I had DP with me. In total we were at the Dr's for two hours (apparently they had a little emergency) so I was really glad to go home. I've had enough of being prodded and poked.

The next check up is in 4 weeks (including the 30minute HB check) and after that every two weeks... but I might swap at some point to just having the MW come over and do a much more relaxed check up...