Die Kaffeestube Teil 2 - virtual Kaffeeklatsch in Germany and Austria

[cheaspicks]

Chat for those living in a German-speaking country, or anyone else who is interested.

Linzer we have had to buy proper music paper Hefte like this from year 5 onwards. They did alot on the subject of learning to read music. Maybe that's what you need?

That's like the manuscript books the girls have for their piano lessons and I'd sort of assumed that's the kind they'd need at secondary school too (that they'd be learning to read music etc), but surely the teacher would have been more specific than "A4 Heft mit Umschlag" if that were the case? They also need scissors and glue for music, so who knows what they'll be doing (cutting out pictures of instruments and sticking them in their book?)!

Btw considering the number of times I've seen the word Umschlag on the school lists over the last few days, you'd have thought I'd have remembered it for your note yesterday, admylin! (It did briefly cross my mind, but then I thought no, that's a removable cover.)

Linzer yes that's why I thought it must be another word as Umschlag is one of those plastic covers to me.

I've solved the Heft problem in this house. When Aldi or Lidl have a school special I buy all the lined, squared and plain books in packs of five so I have a big pile at home! Mind you, it's one of the only things I've managed to get organised at!

I should really start doing that as the DC are always running out during the school year and urgently need an exercise book by the next day, necessitating a 30 minute or longer round trip. A friend of mine told me she always buys the transparent plastic covers at Lidl or Aldi, but I'm not sure I've ever seen them there.

Hello all!

Wow I can see there's going to be a whole new world of German vocab opening up when DC1 arrives!! :)

Further to all of your lovely suggestions for the restaurant, I'm now 90% organised for a craft fair to be held here on the 7th October, a Sunday morning. My friend is exhibiting, and has rounded up 5 or 6 others, including some really talented ladies with some lovely jewellery, decorations, organic soap.... lots of lovely things.

We're organising some covered stalls for outside, and I'll be baking a selection of cakes too - in fact that's an idea, I might sell some whole ones to take away as well as the usual eat-in ones (inspiration is coming thick and fast!). I'm feeling very positive about the whole thing, and having lots of fun organising it, thanks!

We're also organising a first birthday party for the restaurant, with live music and a roving magician (another friend of mine)... all involving minimal outlay, and hopefully maximum profit! :)

We've also got our rescheduled midwife appointment this afternoon, so hopefully I'll feel a bit more clued in afterwards!

We've got sun here now after a miserable morning - hope its shining for everyone else too....

It took me so long to read all the updates yesterday that I didn't have time to reply. And now I can't remember what everyone said, so apologies for not replying to everyone individually. I know that is one of the nice things about the thread. Sorry!

Glad school starts are going well. Dd went into first grade today with nary a backward glance! Ds1 is not 5 for another couple of weeks so has to wait for another year for kindergarten. Not sure he is ready emotionally anyway.

Hope flat-finding is also going well. It sounds like a bit of a nightmare. With regards to renting being a waste of money, we bought our house near the bottom of the market, but not quite. It has spent a couple of years being worth less than what we bought it for, but fortunately not less than the mortgage. It might be worth around the same now, but certainly not profitable!

I hope the midwife appointment enlightened you a lot cakebump. I'm glad we were of some use with ideas and i hope they all prove successful.

Get well soon to everyone else and I hope the rest of the week goes well. I was supposed to be picking my dps up from the airport this evening but their flight from Manchester was over 6 hours late. Hopefully they'll make it here tomorrow. Bye for now!

thank goodness you posted jenny, I thought I killed the thread! :)

What a nightmare about your DPs being delayed 6 hours - its awful when that happens...

The midwife appointment went well, she was here 1.5 hours and was very friendly and relaxed. I didn't understand everything, but I think I got most of it, and DH was there to help me along on the complicated bits. Feeling much more like I can imagine the baby being here now iyswim, instead of being just an abstract idea!

You won't kill it that easily, Cake. The thread does go strangely quiet sometimes (especially at weekends) and then at other times gets ridiculously busy. Glad the midwife appointment went well anyway; it does make it seem much more real, doesn't it?

jenny Hope your DPs arrive safely today and that you have a lovely time with them.

DH is still off work today, so I'll be going to DS's parents' evening on my own tonight. He said he should be OK to come to DD1's tomorrow though, and we've finally got a babysitter sorted - actually two. The neighbours' oldest daughter will be looking after all six children (ours and other neighbours') for the first 45 minutes as her younger sisters are out until 6pm, and then one of them will be bringing ours back home and looking after them for the rest of the time.

Currently trying to decide what to do about the very old, very tall tree in our garden. It was damaged by the building work when the houses were built and has a lot of dead wood, so we've been asking for quotes to have it removed. Have just had one back (?500) but someone else we asked said it's been so badly damaged that having dead wood removed is probably the last thing it needs and he would recommend treating the roots (?1700!) in an attempt to save it. There's no guarantee that it would work, however, and DH thinks we might still have to pay to have it cut down (which he reckons would cost a couple of thousand euros). He's going to try and find another tree specialist to ask, as we don't really want to spend a ridiculous amount on rescue operations that might all be in vain.

jenny hope your dps get there safe and as soon as possible. Wonder if the delay was anything to do with the Lufthansa strike going on in Germany? There have been a lot of cancellations (I think it's the cabin crew who are on strike) causing backlog etc.
Glad your dd enjoyed her first day at school. It'll be interesting to hear how it goes and what they do as compared to our German primary experiences!

cake don't worry, it sometimes goes really quiet on this thread when we're too busy in real life, then other days it's hard to keep up! Glad the midwife was so nice. Are you planning a home birth with the midwife or hospital?

linzer did you sort out the mystery of what dd1 needs for art? The damaged book problem is sorted (phew) and the teacher has changed the status in his computer so dd doesn't even have to give it back at the end of the year as it'll be aussortiert!

ploom your friend got back to me and comfirmed that it sounds like accupressure that the therapist is trying on me (and that it won't help much). He gave me some exercise tips so I'll have a go at those. Off to physio again this morning.

Morning!! Just a quickie since I really need to get showered and go shopping (but MNetting is way more fun!).

admylin - oh I'm glad he got back to you. Him and I both agreed that physio in Germany is completely different than in the UK & sadly not for the better. In the UK they really try to be more evidence based but i'm not entirely sure there's any evidence for what they do here. You could ask your physio that? Wonder what she'd say!

linzer - that sounds like a lot of money to get the tree treated esp if it might not work. Hope your dh feels better soon - did the GP advise anything yest?

jenny - nice to hear from you! Glad the 1st day back went well - that was a long summer break you had - bet you were ready for school to start again. Hope your parents arrive soon.

cake - so glad all went well with the midwife. And your plans for the restaurant sound great - just wish I was nearer and I'd come too!

cheaspicks and I had a fun afternoon at a playground yest - it was raining our whole drive there but instantly stopped as we got out the car - too lucky! Thankfully the weather looks back to being proper sunny today. Dd is spending the afternoon at the Tierheim - since I have to drive her there, think we might borrow a dog to take for a walk - the boys loved it the last time we did. But obviously that starts the "can we have a dog???" conversation that lasts for days!! (dh says no everytime!)

linzer I missed the post about the tree! Sounds like a nightmare and far too expensive. Do you think it's in danger of falling down?

ploom no way am saying anything to the physio woman! She's sort of scary-bossy! I hope she massages abit more today instead of pressing. She said it's not normal that I still have a huge bruise from the injection (no way am I ever going back to that doctor).

admylin Good news on the book! DH has semi-explained DD1's art list (Tusche is apparently ink; I bet they don't have white ink at the normal stationery store), but I've decided to wait until the weekend to do her stationery shopping so that he can come too!
I don't think the tree itself is likely to fall down, but it's quite likely that one of the branches could fall off - one of the reasons why we need to get it sorted before too long, as we obviously don't want it to land on someone or on the house in front (it wouldn't hit our house).

Ploom Glad you had a nice time with cheaspicks yesterday; I hope you didn't do too much gossiping about us all. I can thankfully put a stop to arguments about dogs/cats/rabbits fairly quickly by reminding the DC of DS's allergies, although it doesn't work for stick insects (I could live with those actually, but have no idea where we'd buy them).

DD2 had a leaflet about all the afterschool activities yesterday, but she doesn't want to do any of them - I was quite surprised but also fairly relieved at the same time. She'd have to do them all in the 6th hour as she now has school for five hours every day (until 12.45 pm), so it would make it a very long morning too. I'm definitely looking forward to some less hectic afternoons this year; so far, all we have planned are the DDs' piano lessons and DD2 also wants to go to Mädchen-Fit-Turnen once a week. DS isn't interested in afterschool activities at all, which is fine by me.

Just seeing my post and can't believe how many smiles I used. The hot weather ist schuld

Arrrrggghhhh I had this super long post with lots of smileys and it's gone!!!!!! i can't believe it.

Here is a shorter version cause I have to get back to stuff. The school year has started a few weeks ago here in Hamburg and the case load is already growing by the hour it seems.
The weather is fantastic and I cannot believe how nice it is as in sunny, warm and blue sky. So, I've been outside as much as possible.

cake it sounds really exciting and I am sorry that I have not at least acknowledged your post with a few words. As I've read your update and was very happy for you and it just wasn't so convenient to post and I was sure others would, and so it goes....sorry about you feeling not knowing what's going on. Sounds very good the idea with selling whole cakes!!!

admylin great news about the book issue. Guess, that's solved and one less worry

wanting what's going on with your flat-hunting endeavours???

cake I was meant to ask for a few days about your insurance, continuing pay, and what rights you might have issues. Any news? In any need for ideas on that front?

And to everyone else busy with Einschulung, buying school items, Elternabend, and what not in that regards...I do feel for you and with you

I'll chat to you all later.

Morning everyone...

sorry world I think you did ask about the insurance, and I forgot to include it in my post.

We've heard back now from the lawyers, and they say that because I am classed officially as "selbststandig" (sorry no umlauts on this keyboard!) then I am only entitled to be paid as long as I am in work, so in fact by giving me sick pay and maternity pay school are doing over and above what they are legally supposed to. That also means that according to my insurance, I am not entitled to anything because of the self-employed status.

To complicate matters further, I am not in practice actually self employed. What I mean is that my contract is a highly dodgy "partnership agreement" which in practice operates as a regular employment contract. It is unlikely to be legally enforceable as a self-employed "contract" in any court, UK or Germany. Its something that the school uses to get out of paying any social security contributions for its overseas qualified staff.

To be fair, I knew all this when I signed it, but I needed the job.

So, according to the lawyers I can take the school to court over the illegal contract, get it changed to an employment contract and then get regular employee benefits, but these wouldn't be back dated so would make no difference to this year, plus the time and expense of what would be a much more complicated court case.

So the upshot it we're screwed financially, at least until I can get back to work, plus I really need to find a new job if we ever want to have DC2, or I'll be in the same position again. I can live with the status quo for this year, but the midwife upset me yesterday by suggesting that because I haven't been paid through for this year, I might not be entitled to my 67% Elterngeld for next year. If that's the case I will have to return to work when DC1 is 8 weeks old, a 2 hour daily commute. I don't even want to think about that possibility....

Sorry, that went epic! It's a complicated situation :)

Linzer we don't only talk about the thread, you know . Anyway, every second sentence was interrupted by DD saying "look, mummy, I did draw a shoe"/"mummy, can you watch"/"mummy, I need a WEE". The look on ploom's face at times reminded me of how irritating I used to find trying to chat to a good friend of mine when her kids were that age! Still, I guess that means we have plenty to talk about.

Admylin I hope the physio is more effective (or at least less painful) today.

jenny is kindergarten more formal in the States, then? You'd think I would have some idea of the system over there, after reading so many Beverly Cleary books as a kid, but I can't remember right now? Does your ds1 go to some sort of daycare now?

cake glad that our suggestions were useful and good luck with the craft fair. That was a good long appt with the midwife, can imagine it would have been very helpful. I think I was almost superstitiously avoiding preparing for life with a baby when I was pg. The only thing I was prepared for was dealing with bf, thanks to my ante-natal class, which was otherwise completely focussed on the birth itself. Needless to say it was a shock - I used to sleep 9 unbroken hours a night for a start...

Hello to everyone else!

Actually my musing has just thrown up another question for me....

Does anyone know what type of childcare is available in Germany for babies? I.e if I had to go back to work when the baby is 8 weeks old, what would the childcare options be? Are there any? We've got no family around here who we could ask.

And would that be the same at 9 months? I'm hoping its more likely that I can stave off returning to work until September.... Where will I stash my baby???

Thank you oh wise ones

cake thanks for the update. well, I guess you are finding yourself in something which is called 'Scheinselbständigkeit' which means you are sort of self-employed and yet you're not and it is this thin grey area some employers like to take advantage of, but at least you sort of knew it beforehand and unfortunately these hardships of life when we have these pressures to secure employment and sort of have to tag along.
It is important that there won't be any issues with the Finanzamt (the tax revenue department) and that you get as much information and help as possible.

There is no shame in that, that's what we all pay lots of taxes for so we do have some social net which will support us and help us to waddle through when times are slightly difficult.
Also feel the need to add, that if the OH is German it does not mean necessarily that he or she will know all these ins and outs of the support system with its laws, policies and regulations. Quite often this turns out to be a burden for the relationship as the native partner starts to become the one having to explain and find out everything. And they are very often equally overwhelmed with it all. the only strength or advantage they have ahead of you is the language, sometimes.

There are really very good places who could answer lots of your questions, very specific to your circumstances, at no cost for you, they are also funded through tax money.
I am in a different Bundesland and am not familiar with your region at all. However I will pm you later and try to be of better assistance.

Yet another post lost thanks to MN going offline. I thought I?d Ctrl+C'd it, but only my old post came up. Grr.

Brief summary:

cheas I don?t believe you. (Actually, I do, but am just desperate for gossip as the Austrians don?t go in for that kind of thing. Or at least not the ones I know.)

Cake Am no help on German childcare as the choice here seems to be: a) stay within a few miles of the GPs, b) have the GPs come to stay for a week at a time to look after the DC (have known two sets of GPs who would do this every month ? obviously jobs where you only have to work one week a month are rather limited), c) (if you?re really desperate) a childminder.
Btw did you know you can install a German keyboard if you?re really desperate for umlauts?

And I can?t quite remember the rest, but DS and DH have reappeared so I?d better go...

cake I read an article yesterday in the Jako-O mag about childcare for under 3s. It said that 39% of under 3s are in daycare, and that that equated to 50% of 1 & 2 yos, since virtually all under 1s are cared for by their parents. I would have thought you need to look for a Tagesmutter - I could imagine they could cope with a 9 month old - but also approach your local kita to see what they say. They may have contacts - a retired Erzieherin who might like the extra money, or someone on mat leave. Something will turn up - an old lady in the supermarket once offered to care for dd , but she listed references that I could have easily checked out.

Sorry, those are projected figures for 2013.

Cake Sorry, my last post was a bit tongue-in-cheek and not very helpful. Agree that childminders are probably the best option for that age; we also have "mobile Mamas" here, who are like childminders but come to your home and only look after your children. Our neighbours have one for one afternoon a week and she also looks after twin babies on another day (or days, I'm not sure) - they look about six months old.

DD1 has just come home with a huge pile of text books; I'm amazed that they get them all for free. Mind you, the schools must save an awful lot of money considering the ??? the parents have to spend on school stationery. She had her first English lesson today; apparently her teacher is American, although she has a suspiciously Austrian-sounding name.

Cake I was lucky when my dc were born there was government Erziehungsgeld of 600DM for the first 2 years and 400DM for the 3rd year, plus Kindergeld so we managed OK on dh's student job money and a cheap student village flat (he was doing his degree then his PhD when they were small). So where we lived in Baden Würrtemberg most mums stayed at home for 3 years - or they had parents near by. Some places were available at Kita or university creche, but so few places,you had to have proof that you were a single parent student as they got priority places.

My dh's boss had a baby 2 years ago and she went back after 8 weeks and left her baby with a retired couple paying them as Tagesmutter. No idea how much that costs though.