Munich?- Family living, having a baby and general info -please

[bebemoohatessnot]

We're considering a job situated just outside of Munich and I'm wondering what we should expect. I'm already an American living abroad in the UK, but what can I expect a German country to be like? I don't speak any German (yet), though I do have an idea what it'll be like living in the country where I don't speak the language (having lived in France for 9m), but what challenges would I be facing raising my young family in Munich?

We have a dd (21m) and dc2 is due in mid Aug.
What problems can you foresee?
What is it like having a baby in a German hospital?
Is not knowing the language (to start) going to be a problem with everyday life?
Is the area child/family friendly?

Any ideas, pointers, thoughts, and stories would be greatly appreciated to help us make this decision. :)

He is British and we've been discussing that, but it's very unclear how much would be covered if we're not just 'visiting' I've been trying to search out info, but I'm very confused by it all and dh is currently acting all nonplussed about it all

Bebe
My DH is German and we lived in Bavaria for 9 years before moving further north then on to CH.

Medical care is fab. I had both babies in Germany and found the prenatal care excellent. There are midwife led units as an alternative to hospital care if you would prefer that. Or choose a hospital that is big on alternative therapies. Most offer somethings along those lines.

Housing is expensive in Erding as it is a sought after location. You could try moving slightly out of town if your DH wouldn't mind a commute. Don't pay agents fees. We never went through an agent. Look in the local newspaper, or put an ad in the paper. You may need to have someone as a contact person who speaks German for this, or use email.

Try and get as much as possible from your husbands employer, it makes expat living MUCH easier. Health insurance, removal costs, help with househunting is normally part of the package.

Is your dh going out there for a German company or is he on temporary assignment from a UK company?

If the latter then look onto him being given the status of "entsandter" - which means he can continue to be insured through the NHS. This is how it works for my dh here in Switzerland.

Sorry for multiple postings.

Wasserburg and Landshut are both lovely towns within an hours commute of Erding, might be slightly cheaper.

I don' t really foresee that many problems but with a toddler and a new-born baby, a dh at work all day and in a foreign country where you have just arrived and know no one, don't speak the language, you could feel lonely.

For that reason, live somewhere accessible to activities rather than totally out in the sticks would be my advice. Have a google for toddler groups etc, the local churches will have them (in German) they will be called "Mutter-Kind-Gruppen" but there are sure to be a lot of expat groups - however you may need to travel to get to them.

August could be very hot but in September you'll be able to get out for nice long walks with the baby and your toddler before winter sets in. Winter can be very harsh and you will be responsible for shovelling snow in front of your house every morning! I am not sure what time this has to be done by but a neighbour will soon let you know if you are not at it early enough. That will keep you fit and put colour in your cheeks.

You will be given a little card for the paediatrician which notes when you have to go for various check-ups/vaccines. Someone at the doctors will presumably speak enough English to help you out. However you could go on toytown Germany and have a look on the Munich pages to see or ask about English speaking doctors, midwives etc and start compiling a list before you go.

Consider having dh present at the birth. Discuss with him what you do and do not want and make sure he will speak up loud and clear for you. As you know, in the throes of giving birth it is difficult to make yourself listened to. Generally they are not keen on caesarian by choice, you will need to do some convincing if this is the way you plan to give birth. I have been told in the states this is really up to the mother. In Germany, they will need convincing, i.e. they will need to see a real medical need for it.

Germans IME can be quite forthright which is to say direct and you may find yourself sighing at times as you are told off for this and that and generally made responsible for the failings of your country. To balance this it can be nice to have an expat group to recover with. Would you be going for a year or two or for a longer term?

if you give birth in August you might want to make sure you have a decent fan or two at home. In hot summers they sell out very quickly and if you are living in an apartment, you could find it unbearable, although Munich might not get as hot and uncomfortable as Berlin did. If you leave the windows open at night, you will need mosquito netting but summers are short.

Oh and one more thing - once you've had your baby, expect Germans to tell you off if you don't wrap your baby up in a baby duvet whilst in the pram!

They snuggle their babies up really warm- very over the top compare to in UK.
In fact, you can hardly see the baby in the pram - just a huge duvet doming out! My friend got smacked on the arm by a lady whilst we were out shopping and lots of tutting as she just had her baby under blankets. Strange

vintageteacups
That made me smile. I was always being told off for not having a hat on DD - 30°C in August and I should have a hat on my baby.

I spoke to DH earlier and he said that you should normally be able to be insured by one of the national health insurance companies - DAK and AOK are just two of the larger ones, if you google "Gesetzliche Krankenkassen" you will find many more. It should not matter how long your DH's contract is, as long as he is Steuerpflichtig - eligible to pay income tax - then he can join a Krankenkasse. Expect to pay about 8% of his gross pay - but that will cover the whole family.

If he is being paid in £, through a UK company then he has to find out whether there is an agreement between UK and Germany about internationally assigned employees (what they call entsandter in Germany)

Have a look here for more info.

I realise this has nothing to do with Munich/Bavaria but this is some English info about having a baby in a German speaking country.........OK so I know Vienna is not Munich but it may be of some help www.viennababiesclub.com!

I had two dcs in Germany, but not in Bavaria, and it was a very positive experience. The healthcare is very very good, and you would always have the choice to go to a "geburtshaus" if you want a completely natural birth. Otherwise the hospitals will accept the choices you make. As hopefor said, you can choose where you give birth. Hopefor mentioned that you can get a midwife to accompany you all the way including birth "Beleghebamme", but if your insurance does not cover this, you still have a midwife to visit you after the birth, however, you have to arrange this yourself, the hospital or your doctor will not do this. There are lists of midwives available from the hospital, or your doctor may be able to recommend one. Do think about booking the midwife in very good time.

Like hopefor, I had an ELC second time round for various reasons and that was no problem to arrange either.

On the getting to know people front...You could look into doing ante natal courses and then postnatal gymnastics courses in English which I found to be a great way of meeting people. I'm assuming that they are offered in Munich, they are in the city where I live although smaller than Munich. One site that is very good on all sort of child related activities is www.kidsgo.de but it is sadly only in German. Otherwise as already mentioned, toytown is good too. Postnatal gymnastics by the way is to get your bits back in the right place and is paid for by your health insurance.

Hello, here I am! As you know I spend a lot of time over there. Medical care is absolutely fine, most people speak enough English to deal with you well, and the hospitals and clinics are spotless and very well run. We have used ambulances and emergency care as well, and found it better than the UK. There is a lot of herbal and homeopathic treatment used. The only thing I have ever had a problem with is buying decongestants as their herbal stuff doesn't work, so that's about the only thing I would take with me.

In terms of living in Munich, I imagine a company would help relocate you which would help with accommodation. Shopping is easier than some people have made out on here with small Tegelmann supermarkets open Monday to Saturday and some larger out of town ones open longer hours. There are more butchers and bakers and florists and so on than in the UK, which is really nice. A lot of the brands are the same as in the UK so there is no need to take basic things with you - all you will miss are baked beans and white bread most probably. Children's clothes can be a bit pricey but a lot of people use Tchibo a lot, especially for coats and boots and jeans and things, which has great stuff and is very competitive price wise.

People are friendly and very welcoming and probably quicker to ask you over to their houses than in the UK. There is a huge ex-pat US and UK community if you are into that sort of thing.

The best thing about Munich is that you are fantastically well placed for day trips at the weekend to the lakes and mountains, and you can also drive to Venice in four hours. The weather is very hot in the summer but sometimes it rains a lot, and in the winter you get massive snow dumps sometimes - 12 inches in 3 hours, that kind of thing.

I will type a bit more later but I have to do baby bath duty now.

I live in Münich!, we moved here temporarily at the end of this summer - and I am also expecting DC2 in a few months time.
To be honest I am still at the slightly clueless stage, still finding my feet (I couldn't speak a word of German when we arrived but am improving slowly). Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss anything :)

I'm about the thought of being able to move to Munich.

I've been feeling rather ill with this pregnancy so I've not been on, but I've been doing some reading.
Thanks for all the additional information ladies. It's very reassuring for the most part, though the no gas and air makes me a little nervous. I only had gas and air last time... though this time I was hoping to get a 'shot' at the birthing pool this time. So if I had that as an option again it might end up being ok.
However, what we've just learned that the initial stay/contract will only be 6m with additional stays/contracts possibly to follow; so there's a good chance that we could be back before the baby is born which would solve the baby issue.
Now it's the accommodation issues. Tho when we talked to the contact he seemed to think we would be likely to find a place without the use of agents because the 'international contractor turnover' is high.

We're in a tizzy here trying to find out for certain abt insurance, what to do with our cat and house...might be packing by Friday! xxx Excitement abounds
(Tabitha you might be my new best friend... )

so now that's it's 6m what do I do about prenatal care?

Hi there, only just joined mumsnet today!

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant and live in Starnberg, Munich. We have 3 kids already between us (although none together) and they all go to Munich International School in Starnberg. Is getting schooling paid for an option with this job? If so I would say go for it as it's an excellent school. For me it has been a godsend as I moved out here speaking no german but have made lots of friends through the school who are all in the same position. I've been learning since I got here and am now comfortably able to get by on a day to day basis but you will find that most people can understand and speak english too to some degree.

There are lots of english speaking pre-schools around here for your children, some of my friends have younger kids and quite a few of them go to a playgroup called busybees in Gauting which is a nice, family friendly area. I know there are english montessori schools around here too.

We moved out here 18 months ago and it's a pretty mixed bag. Contrary to other opinions on here, I find it pretty expensive compared to the UK. Rent is high and everyday items seem to cost a lot more! Check that wherever you end up renting includes a kitchen as out here in germany they often don't!

The hospitals are really clean and efficient. I had to register separately with an ob/gyn (she speaks english and I can send you the details although she is based in starnberg so it depends on where you end up living). My experience so far has been much better than in the uk - she has scanned me every month (the appointments last around an hour) even though the insurance only technically covers you for 3 during the whole pregnancy. She has one of those 4d machines too and I have had every test under the sun. I'm having an elective c-section in starnberg hospital and the surgeon speaks english so I'm not too stressed about it.
I've got another friend who is due 6 weeks after me and she will be having her baby at the hospital by the english garden - she seemed really impressed with it there too!

I don't think that private healthcare is that much (if anything) more expensive than the obligatory state run healthcare system. Will you be having anyone to help you with the relocation. We used a lady called elisabeth sommers who has her own agency.

Whether or not germany itself is "child friendly" I'm not too sure. They can be quite rigid and strict out here and have expectations of children that can seem different to what I and other friends are used to. They certainly aren't shy about telling you off in any case!

If I can help in any way then let me know!!!

By the way, it really depends on what your budget is and where you want to be but in the classifieds section of the school website there are often apartments/houses to rent which don't involve an agent. I can pass on details to you if you let me know what you are looking for

I didn't like Germany at all , some individual, lovely, kind people,yes but the place, the society as a whole, not at all.

I wouldn't say that Germany is child friendly in terms of adults being nice to dc , which for me is what child friendliness is about. It isn't Spain or Italy and you don't get people stroking little dc on the head or joking with them and seeming to enjoy their presence about the place. I would say they are accepted and not especially liked or welcome or made to feel liked or welcome (other than by their own families). What struck me the most about Germany is how rarely you see dc smile. If people don't smile at them, I suppose they don't learn to smile much. I have never seen so many stony faced little dc, I really found it disconcerting. Even amongst themselves there never seems a whole lot of giggling going on while they play but lots of talk along the lines "you can't do this and you can't do that". For child friendliness you will find that Germans go to Denmark, Italy or the US, they don't really look for it at home.

In terms of bf in public, it seems ok everywhere, I have certainly never seen or heard of anyone being told off for it. Dc can and will be told off by all and sundry (as indeed you the adult will be too) but there is a certain level of loudness and robust play which is taken for granted. You see and hear dc in restaurants and cafes and that is generally accepted. Neighbours might not be so tolerant in their own homes, especially older people who have no dc at home -and if you live in a flat you have to abide by noise regulation laws (everyone does but in a flat you are more likely to annoy someone): things such as not using the hoover, washing machine at certain times of the day (12-2pm I think) and so on. Most of it is common sense but the "Mittagsruhe" thing was new to me.

IME there are a lot of old and not so old miseries about the place whose main goal in life seems to be to spread unpleasantness wherever they go. A great deal of these people seem attracted to jobs in the so-called service industry where they will amaze you with a total lack of service, all of it grudging in the extreme.

Really this is my overwhelming memory of Germany. It may nto be PC to say so. Nevertheless it is true for my experience. It's not a happy go lucky, fun-loving place. On the whole it is a bit staid and a controlling type of society which occasionally goes almost inexplicably mad - carnival etc. You have had a lot of positive posts on the thread which tbh I cannot really relate to but I don't want to entirely put you off. I would just say it is one way of experiencing the place but possibly not the most common one -a nd I lived in a different place to where you are going.

The majority of expats I met from every country intensely disliked living there but there were a few exceptions and those few were 100% categorically pro-Germany , perhaps to balance the general negativity. For the most part they were French. For a couple of years, it could be ok for you. It might be that it is absolutely right for you even long-term but I would at least consider the possibility that you will not like it.

Hello

I know this thread is very old, but hopefully some of you will still be able to respond.

To those of you who moved to Munich, how have you found it?

My husband has been asked to move to Munich, I've never been so don't know what to expect. We are currently in Sydney Australia.

Any advice on the weather, where to live- city or outside of Munich (work will be just south of Munich), international schools, English preschools, if you would recommend the move!?
We have three kids under 5.

Thanks in advance