Mr friend has been told she has "months" to live..

[MonkeyTennis34]

My very close friend has a rare form of bowel cancer.
It hasn't a single tumour that can be removed. The cancer covers a larger area, around her rectum.
She was diagnosed in 2019 and had radiotherapy and aural chemotherapy.

Following this, the only treatment she was offered was surgery which would have resulted in huge, life-changing effects.

She chose to refuse the surgery and wasn't offered anything different.

Around Easter time this year, her consultant told her that if she doesn't have the surgery, she has months to live.

She is having oxygen treatments, is going to have intravenous Vitamin C treatment.

I guess my question is, what does "months" mean and could that potentially mean "years"?
She says, she's not going anywhere and is throwing herself into these alternative treatments.

She had a stoma fitted at Easter.
She is often in alot of discomfort but otherwise gets around ok.
She's 57.

@Deebee90
The surgery would have got rid of the cancer and definitely given her more time.

Her decision to refuse it is brave and her decision to have had it would have been brave. A horrible, horrible choice.

I'm going to try and keep her birthday as normal as possible, take her lead and try not to get emotional.

@Moier
That's so awful, I'm so sorry to hear that.

My friend would have accepted more conventional surgeries eg hysterectomy, mastectomy etc.
On a very selfish level, I wish she would accept what has been offered to her but she hasn't and I have to respect her choice.

Equally, I don't know what I would do in her shoes.

And I do, deep down, recognise that the alternative route she has chosen will not result in any miracles.
As another poster has commented, it gives her a sense of control, comfort and also a focus away from negative thoughts.

Also, she knows that the alternative interventions won't cure her cancer but they might, along with her amazing positive mental attitude, give her some more time.

I doubt it. Mental attitude won't halt the progression of the tumour and neither will Vit C. But I suppose that as long as she's happy with her choice you just need to support her and not criticise/try to change her mind.

As a PP has said, if it was that simple......

I'm so sorry for your friend and for all her friends and family.

I was watching Super Surgeons: A Chance at Life recently - Channel 4. In Series 1 Episode 1 there was a woman with something similar - it was shocking how much the doctors had to remove, but she was cancer-free at the end. Have you seen it?

Was it pelvic exenteration or a similar surgery that she was offered? If so, I can understand her decision to an extent. It really totally changes your body and that must be incredibly hard to come to terms with. You're doing the right thing following her lead. I hope you can both enjoy her birthday.

I've lost a lot of people to cancer, and they have all gone much quicker than the prediction from drs. Either they can't be accurate or they want to give hope.

@MounjaroUser
I haven't seen the documentary but it sounds similar.

@Lincoln24
I've just googled "pelvic exenteration" and I think that's it. Although she told me that they would also remove part of the mass of her spine....I hope I've got that right.

She would be in a wheelchair with a huge amount removed so would, effectively have a lot of her bottom removed.

I can see why she doesn't want the surgery then. It would be life changing.
It's Hobson's choice really isn't it.
Your poor friend.

Hi, I currently have pelvic cancer/groin lymph node cancer for which neither chemo or immunotherapy has worked. I can't have any more radiotherapy. In 2022 I had to get a stoma due to rectal cancer and they also removed the rectum and colon and large bowel. I was in hospital 3 weeks and recovered brilliantly. Unfortunately my vagina basically closed up (side effect of surgery). Two weeks ago I had bilateral nephrostomy which means I also pee into bags - one each hip. I'm not overly keen on these but hey ho. In a strange way your friends sad news has given me something else to ask them possibly being something I could be considered for. I have severe lymphodema in my leg so struggle walking so even the wheelchair would benefit me. As such, I don't know if she still has surgery as an option but it's definitely something I would consider. Don't know if this helps or not and sorry if I've offended anyone.

@Whatevershallidowithmylife
No offence taken at all.
Thanks for sharing that. You've been through so much. Sending you ongoing strength.

@KnickerlessParsons
That's it in a nutshell. Hobson's choice.

@Whatevershallidowithmylife 💐