Background: DH has smoked for 50 years and had pneumonia 10 years ago. He felt unwell in July this year, the day before we were going on holiday, so he took himself off to the walk in centre which surprised me, he has always minimised any health concerns and has a hospital phobia. He was admitted to hospital immediately with pneumonia for the second time and spent a week in hospital, where he wasn't responding well to treatment and his fever wouldn't reduce.
The hospital sent him for follow up scans after he was discharged, this showed a large mass in his left lung. He saw the smoking cessation nurse before he was discharged from hospital and successfully completed a course of Champix, he hasn't smoked since the day he was admitted in July.
The follow up from the scan results revealed that the mass was cancerous and he had a large tumour that was wrapped round the top of his aorta. Because of the position they couldn't biopsy it easily and the initial results were inconclusive; he ended up having an exploratory op under general anaesthetic where the surgeon went in through his neck and took some samples. When the results came back he was diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer, and there was another tumour growing in the bronchioles. He was given the choice of chemo first then removal of the tumour, or going straight for surgery, which was the less risky option. He went for surgery and at the start of this month the lung was removed and the tumours with it. He developed a heart murmur following the surgery and was in intensive care for a week, but was discharged the week before Christmas and is being cared for by me and DS at home.
On Friday we were called in to see the consultant and told that the histology results show that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes in two places and there is a small window of opportunity for chemo to be successful. The stage 4 cancer was downstaged following surgery and is now classified as N1. He's not fit enough for the chemo yet and there's a chance that by the time he is well enough for it, the window will have closed.
I feel numb. Everyone is devastated and I'm trying so hard to stay positive but inside I'm screaming how unfair it is, we have just got the point where DS is almost an adult and we were looking forward to the child free years we never had before we married (we had DS within a year of getting together). DH is really depressed but won't see his GP because he doesn't want to take any more medication, he's already on 30 pills a day, and says that depression is inevitable with cancer. I have never had any real experience of cancer as nobody in my family has had it. Family friends have died from different types of cancer but they weren't close enough that we saw the reality. MIL died from bowel cancer (on our wedding day) but didn't know she had it until the very end. Nobody we know has had cancer and survived.
Wow this is long. I just don't know what to expect. How will chemo affect him? What do we need to do to prepare? Is there anything I can be doing, buying, reading, to be ready? What happens if he can't have chemo? Any help would be great. We have a Macmillan nurse, and I have been with DH every time he sees a consultant or the surgeon, but the wait to see the oncologist is awful.