Groovejet, I'm sorry to read that you've lost your dad. I'm really sporadically using this thread when I think about it, so I'm sorry not to have said so earlier.
Livin, I share some of your feelings of not doing this well enough. I work ft and have no flexibility to use annual leave so I just can't be around for appointments.
This has been the hardest day. My DM has slept for most of it. Her mouth is so sore she can barely talk. Her sister and family took it upon themselves to spend Christmas here this year, because without saying it we all know it's her last, but it's been difficult watching her suffer as we all try to sort and eat dinner. All she's managed is jelly, ice cream and water.
I stupidly suggested she make my DCs some bunting a while back, and of course, through all her pain she's done it and it's beatiful. She's made DS kites complete with ribbons and DD bejewelled butterflies. It's absolutely lovely but I'm going to think of how hard she tried to get it done when she really couldn't manage.
My grandad has been here - he's getting senile and frail himself but has cried about mum almost uncontrollably. Her DP (who doesn't love with her) is a tower of strength but my cousin caught him crying earlier.
She has an appointment next week to see about a switch of drugs but my feeling is that the scan results won't be good enough.
In the meantime, as I said before, I'm just feeling awful about working so much, and with young DCs and my house a disorganised tip, this has been one of the first times I've seen her this week. My priorities are all wrong. I think I'm going to have to hand in my notice and consider taking sick leave to be with her and also still have time for my family. I have to work until April so it's the only possible way (just five days compassionate leave). How do people do this?