just wanted to post this to give a heads up to other people who may find themselves in this position, if you are looking after someone who has a terminal illness, please research actively dying and terminal agitation, we were so shocked to see my dB go through this phase of dying its very distressing, and we were not prepared for it , if the docs and nurses had told us about this, we would have been able to understand what was happening.
and now after the event I've found out its quite common, I know no one wants to read about this stuff but we just wish we'd known beforehand that dying doesn't always happen peacefully, other people I've spoken to since who have witnessed this also didn't know what was happening so its relatively common that families aren't prepared for it.
I am in no way detracting from the care the nurses and doctors gave my dB they were amazing and they gave him dignity and comfort throughout. I m just saying they won't tell you unless you ask and sometimes you need to do your homework so it can help you deal with what's going on.
I hope I haven't offended or upset anyone with this post, that was far from my intention, good luck and much love to everyone dealing with whatever you're dealing with. xxx