I am thrilled to be 15 weeks pregnant with our first (after an MC last year)
DP and I have been together for 11 years. We spent a long time deliberating about children and decided to go for a known donor, since we feel it is important that our child knows its father, and since we have the perfect man for the job. We have been friends with KD and his partner for nearly 9 years (and they have been together as long as we have) and this is something we discussed and joked about pretty much since we met. The boys will be involved in the child's life and KD will be known as Daddy, but DP and I will bring the child up and will be responsible for all decisions and finances, etc.
Now that I am in the second trimester we are starting to share the news with people who didn't already know and of course encounter every type of reaction imaginable. That's fine, we were all prepared for all the questions and we all know how long it took us to get our heads around the idea so we expect other people to need time too. But today I'm just feeling pee'ed off about it all, sick of the questions, which quite frankly are very personal and inappropriate, and sick of listening to everyone else's concerns. I mean, we don't go speaking our minds to a heterosexual couple who announce that they are pregnant saying "how did you do it - what position worked for you?" or "but have you thought about this...?" or "oh but what will happen when you break up?" or "are you sure this is a good idea, I mean I had noticed that the two of you have a really rubbish relationship and this clearly seems like a band-aid baby" No, when a straight couple announce they are pregnant, everyone congratulates them and is very glad for them, whether sincere or not.
Having to endure all the questions and listen to the worries that well-meaning friends and families and aunties of friends, and next-door-neighbours of families have is starting to wear down my resolve and fill me with doubts that we are doing the right thing - sometimes I think what have we done?! We have had a lot of time to think and plan and draw up agreements about our situation, but of course we know that we are going to face challenges that we can't possibly imagine now, and there will be so many feelings to consider. We all agree that the child comes first, but that will not take away our individual feelings. I'm feeling worried that the boys are going to become more attached than we or they initially thought, and are going to want to be more involved than we agreed. I'm worried that DP and I are going to find ourselves running everything past them and feeling like we have to invite them to every event we go to. With everyone else's negative outlook on our situation I can't help but think only of the downsides and potential issues we will face - oh my gosh, if this is what it's like when our child is only a 15-week old foetus, what are we in for?! Hopefully when the baby comes it will be easier to shut out everyone else's judgement and negativity.
Would be lovely to hear your stories of similar situations that work well please, to get me back on the positive track!