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LGBT parents

This board is primarily for those whose children have LGBTQ+ parents to share their personal experiences and advice.

Maternity leave / Shared Parental Leave

28 replies

MakingItHappen123 · 21/05/2022 09:46

Hello!

My wife is currently pregnant.
She is self employed.
After having the baby, by law she is required to have 2 weeks off on statutory pay.
She's decided to take an additional few more weeks off unpaid.

I am employed and will have the full leave from the day the baby is born, which I believe is classed as Shared Parental Leave. This is also why the extra few weeks she's having off is unpaid as we can't both claim statutory pay at the same time.

At my employment - mothers are allowed 6 weeks full pay and 10 weeks half pay, before moving on to statutory pay.
However, I've been advised that I will only receive 2 weeks full pay - (same as Paternity Leave), then will be on Statutory pay.

Is this right? Or should I receive the maternity pay?
I'm not the birth mother, but my wife will virtually be going straight back to work, and I am still the babies mother and will be with the baby full time.

Does anyone have experience of this?
Thank you in advance.

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Lazypuppy · 21/05/2022 09:52

Sounds right to me as the maternity leave/pay is for the woman who gives birth, normally to physically recover etc, whereas paternity leave is for the other parent. And shared parental leave is what you are doing in this situation

SarahAndQuack · 21/05/2022 21:52

I think shared parental leave is different from paternity leave, but also different from maternity. There's info on the .gov site if it is useful? www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay/what-youll-get

Annoyingly, my experience is that a lot of stuff around childcare is organised in such a way that it privileges people who do things the 'standard' way (ie., birth mum has baby and takes her maternity leave; birth mum's partner takes a short amount of leave and then goes back to earning). You may find that if you want to be doing most of the childcare while she goes back to work, there simply isn't great financial support. We found this ourselves, though my DP (the birth mum) had a much longer leave than yours is planning and went back when DD was five and a half months old.

Andromachehadabadday · 21/05/2022 22:00

What do you mean you will be on statutory pay?

Does your wife qualify for smp?

Clymene · 21/05/2022 22:04

No, the fact that you're a woman is neither here nor there. You don't get maternity pay because you're not pregnant.

Why don't you work so that she can claim the SPL?

Moancup · 21/05/2022 22:06

You don’t qualify for maternity leave as you won’t be giving birth.

You will get whatever your company pays for “paternity” leave.

Shared parental leave and pay is complicated. Both parents need to be entitled to it and if your wife is self-employed then she won’t be. Sorry, it’s a crap situation to be in.

MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 15:55

Andromachehadabadday · 21/05/2022 22:00

What do you mean you will be on statutory pay?

Does your wife qualify for smp?

She does qualify for it. She's self employed (and earns a lot more than I do) but would be able to claim SMP.
However, we made the decision that I would have the leave and she would go back to work after several weeks part time.
She works from home and can make her hours as flexible as necessary so it made sense that we do that.

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MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 15:56

Clymene · 21/05/2022 22:04

No, the fact that you're a woman is neither here nor there. You don't get maternity pay because you're not pregnant.

Why don't you work so that she can claim the SPL?

I work 5 days per week whereas my wife works 3 days and earns a lot more than I do (she's self employed). She can also be very flexible with her working hours meaning she will still be around a lot of the time. She is also going to be working from home. So she can't claim it as she'll be working.
If she decided to have the leave, she could claim the SMP and I'd go back to work, however we decided this wouldn't really work for us.

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Anonnnnnnm · 22/05/2022 15:58

Hello,

Are you in the UK?

Anonnnnnnm · 22/05/2022 16:00

We are about to go on shared parental leave. The first 2 weeks "paternity" is statutory pay, then any weeks after that shared parental pay statutory pay. You can definitely take leave & be paid at the same time!!!! My wife is having 9 months off and I am having 3. She does work so will get 90% of pay first 6 weeks then drop to statutory.

Anonnnnnnm · 22/05/2022 16:01

Sorry forgot to add, no you cannot claim the "maternity" pay - it has to be the "birth mother" - annoying I know.

sunscreenandsaltwater · 22/05/2022 16:06

Regardless of anything else, if your wife (hopefully not) suffers any birth injuries / needs a c section, she will find that she may need to be very flexible with her approach to work. Surely it will
Be better for all concerned if your wife takes the longer time off, as she will be the one giving birth / potentially breast feeding?

Anonnnnnnm · 22/05/2022 16:09

sunscreenandsaltwater · 22/05/2022 16:06

Regardless of anything else, if your wife (hopefully not) suffers any birth injuries / needs a c section, she will find that she may need to be very flexible with her approach to work. Surely it will
Be better for all concerned if your wife takes the longer time off, as she will be the one giving birth / potentially breast feeding?

I do second this. We had planned for my wife to take the longer leave but it's a good job as at the last minute she now needs a C Section. Definitely a good point.

MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 16:11

Anonnnnnnm · 22/05/2022 15:58

Hello,

Are you in the UK?

Yes.

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MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 16:13

@sunscreenandsaltwater @Anonnnnnnm
She is actually going to be having a planned c section due to medical reasons. And will have around 7 weeks off. Then will return to work for 3 days per week.

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dementedpixie · 22/05/2022 16:16

If self employed they can only claim Maternity Allowance not SMP

She has to cut short her Maternity leave to enable you to take shared leave/pay although she herself won't qualify for shared leave/pay as she is self employed

maternityaction.org.uk/advice/shared-parental-leave-and-pay/

dementedpixie · 22/05/2022 16:18

Your wife can be paid Maternity Allowance while you are getting shared parental pay. She doesnt have to be on unpaid leave. When she returns to work her Maternity Allowance would stop

MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 16:18

@dementedpixie
Thank you for the link. I'll have a look.

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sunscreenandsaltwater · 22/05/2022 16:18

Totally get that your circumstances mean this makes sense but at 7 weeks I was in no fit state to be working, and there's no way I could have left my little one for more than prob 2 hours max at any one time. I hope it all works out for you both (genuinely) Smile

dementedpixie · 22/05/2022 16:21

How long and how much paid leave does your employer offer you on shared parental leave/pay?

They absolutely can have different rules for the birth mother compared to their partner

MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 16:22

@SarahAndQuack
Yes it is frustrating. We have planned as much as we can financially as we didn't think we would get much financial support.
The place I work have said this is what the shared parental leave policy is. However, I've spoken to many people who have said they're shared parental leave has been much better, including my previous employer. It just so happens where I am working now pays for 2 weeks only.

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MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 16:23

@dementedpixie
2 weeks full pay then SMP for shared parental leave.

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MakingItHappen123 · 22/05/2022 16:24

@sunscreenandsaltwater
I completely understand what you're saying.
Due to her line of work, she is able to have a break every 2 hours. She very much manages her own diary. If she needs longer off work then she is prepared to take it if necessary. It will just mean that it will be unpaid.

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dementedpixie · 22/05/2022 16:26

So basically;
Your wife can get Maternity Allowance of around £156 per week

In order for you to take shared parental leave/pay she has to cut short her Maternity allowance period to free up the time for you. When she returns to work MA stops.

You absolutely can get paid your shared parental pay at the same time as your wife is getting Maternity Allowance.

girlmom21 · 22/05/2022 16:28

You're better off her having the 6 weeks at 90% SMP and then starting your leave.

dementedpixie · 22/05/2022 16:30

girlmom21 · 22/05/2022 16:28

You're better off her having the 6 weeks at 90% SMP and then starting your leave.

If her wife is self employed there isn't a 6 week period at 90% of salary as she wont qualify for SMP. Maternity Allowance offers a set amount of around £156 per week.