Ex won’t cooperate with house sale weeks away from completion

[exwontsell]

I jointly own a house with my ex currently sold STC. Estate agent was hopeful for exchange this month. We accepted first time buyers and thankfully they seem very patient. At every step along the way my ex has been slow to respond/ignoring all together emails and calls from our solicitors and estate agent. The solicitors require a payment for something regarding the house and a signed form to proceed, which I have paid my half of. He has not and is not responding. Even if I paid it for him (and it is not a small amount of money) he would still have to sign and fill out his form. I’m really anxious now. Relevant context is that he is currently occupying the family home on his own after refusing to leave when we split. Without going into the situation it wasn’t safe for me to stay with my young child and he refused to leave so we had no choice but to move in with very supportive family. I am still paying half the mortgage each month as per my legal obligation to. I am increasingly worried the sale could collapse and have no idea what next steps could be from here. I can’t afford to keep paying the mortgage as a single parent now living elsewhere.

What can I do? We are all in limbo and it seems like all the estate agent and solicitors can do is repeatedly email and call.

Thanks if you read this far.

Bump

You’ll need to go to court, occupation order and for the court to sign for him. No way he’s going to vacate when he should.

Apply to court to force a sale. Show proof he is using delaying tactics

I wondered about this but honestly we have lost so much money because selling so soon after buying has cost loads. There will be less than 10k equity overall and even that is prob a generous estimate. I can imagine court will be astronomical comparatively

He will have to pay not you.

I typed your situation into ChatGPT, surley your solicitor/EA can offer advice on next steps, they must know the law and/or encounter situations like this?

This is what ChatGPT said

1. Apply to the court to force the sale (most common legal route)

If the ex-partner continues to block the sale, she can apply to court under the:

• about:blank Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 (often called TOLATA).

A TOLATA application allows the court to:

Order that the property must be sold.

Appoint someone to sign documents instead of the non-cooperative owner.

Decide how the sale proceeds are split

Courts usually favour a sale where:

• The relationship has ended
• One party wants to realise their share
• One party cannot afford ongoing payments

The fact she is:

• Paying half the mortgage
• Not living there
• A single parent living elsewhere

However: A TOLATA claim can take months and legal costs (£5k–£20k+) depending on disputes.

2. Apply for an ”order for sale” and signature substitution

If the sale is already agreed but he simply won’t sign documents or pay fees, the court can:

• Order that the sale proceeds without his cooperation
• Allow a judge or court officer to sign on his behalf

This is often quicker than a full ownership dispute.

3. Claim occupation rent from the ex-partner

Because he is living in the property alone, she may be able to claim: occupation rent

This means he may owe her compensation because:

• She is excluded from the property
• Yet still paying the mortgage

Courts sometimes offset this against:

• Mortgage payments
• Equity division when the house sells.

4. Stop paying the mortgage? (Not usually recommended immediately)

Legally she remains jointly liable for the mortgage.

Stopping payments could: Damage her credit record & to repossession

But it may strengthen an argument in court that the situation is financially unsustainable.

She should only consider this after legal advice.

5. Solicitors can send a formal legal warning

Before going to court, her solicitor will usually send: A “letter before action”

This warns the ex that if he does not cooperate within a deadline (often 7–14 days), they will start TOLATA proceedings and seek legal costs from him.

Sometimes this alone forces action.

6. If they were married or divorcing

If they were married, the situation could instead be handled through the divorce court under the:

• about:blank Matrimonial Causes Act 1973

But if they were unmarried co-owners, TOLATA is the usual route.

Practical steps she should take now

1. Ask her solicitor to send a formal letter before action.
2. Set a strict deadline for him to sign and pay.
3. If ignored, start a TOLATA claim for an order for sale.
4. Ask about claiming occupation rent for the time he lives there alone.

✅ Important: Courts generally do not allow one co-owner to indefinitely block a sale, especially when the relationship has ended and one party cannot afford the property.

Is this definitely the case?

Thank you for this

Just a bump

You don't need to pay the mortgage while you are not living there.
Mortgage is 'joint and several liability'.
If you don't pay, the mortgage company will insist that he has to.
You need to remind him that if the sale does not go through, you will cease to pay towards the mortgage.
He has sole use of the property.
Hopefully that will concentrate his mind on being a little more amneable to facilitating the sale.

From Shelter

• '...where there is a mortgage in joint names, both parties are jointly and independently liable for the mortgage payments, regardless of who is occupying the property. In a relationship breakdown situation, if one party leaves the property and stops contributing to the mortgage payments, the lender is entitled to require payments from the remaining party to cover the entire mortgage, and it is not possible for the remaining party to argue that s/he is only liable for a particular share. This is known as 'joint and several liability'

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_married_joint_homeowners/mortgage_loan_and_maintenance_payments_after_separation

Nobody's asked the most important question - are you (or were you) married?

Yes, divorce underway

I am so stressed. Can’t afford to take him to court over it

Well that's excellent news, as it means there's a legal mechanism available that's relatively easy to use compared to if you weren't married. It also means that the long-winded ChatGPT reply about TOLATA is just AI slop, and completely irrelevant.

Have you agreed the terms of your financial order? Or, at least, have you some form of written agreement that the house will be sold? Assuming you have, then your solicitor should threaten your ex that if he continues to fail to co-operate you will apply for a Court Injunction requiring him to do so, and (importantly) that you will ask the Court to pay your legal costs of making that application.

The threat of having to pay a four figure sum and possibly even face proceedings for contempt of court should bring him to his senses.

Thank you. I’ve looked into this and it seems like it will take an extremely long time. Also, what would the process be for getting legal fees reimbursed if he were not to have the funds available to repay? I seriously can’t afford it

Oh, and not agreed the terms of the financial order. He accepted the offer but it hasn’t got to the point of exchange yet so he could just let it collapse if he wanted to as it stands

Should I continue to pay the mortgage?

Yes, you have to pay the mortgage (and technically your share of council tax), if you don’t pay and he doesn’t, the bank can seek to repossess which will mean that you have no power over the sale and at the end would have very little funds returned to you and no credit rating. Your best bet is to keep paying and if he doesn’t pay his share, pay that too as at the end of the day, it will all be equity. I’m sure the agent will have dealt with this lots and are very good at getting the point across.

good luck and don’t lose heart. But make sure the mortgage is paid, you may have little money now but you will have less if you stop paying the mortgage and let the bank repossess.

This is incorrect. Joint and several means you are both liable together and separately. Whether you live in the property or not does not mean you don’t have to pay the mortgage.

Thank you. I’ve looked into this and it seems like it will take an extremely long time. Also, what would the process be for getting legal fees reimbursed if he were not to have the funds available to repay? I seriously can’t afford it.

It doesn't need to take a long time. Your solicitor can apply for an emergency injunction within a matter of days. But in most cases the mere threat of doing so (and the threat of having to pay your costs) is enough to persuade the other side to co-operate.

So far as the costs are concerned I assume there's some equity in the house, so they would be paid out of his share.

Suggest you take it up with Shelter then. Normally they are very good with their advice.

Also if you can take it up with my exDP too.
I’ve not been able to get him to pay his half of the mortgage payments for a whole year from when he moved out and we were sorting out the financials.
He owes me £5k. Thanks for your help.

Sorry if I wasn’t clear, each party that enters into a mortgage is responsible for their share regardless of whether they live there or not.

You seemed to be saying that if you don’t live there, you don’t need to pay, which is incorrect.

shelter’s advice is correct so perhaps you have misunderstood it.

the circumstances with your ex and the OP are different in that although the OP doesn’t live there, she has the choice and is choosing to make the mortgage payments which is the right thing to do.

your ex not paying the mortgage is clearly wrong and unfair and you are doing the right thing by making up the payments until you can sell at which time, hopefully, the court would look to change the equity in your favour. Good luck with this and all the best. X

Re mortgage, posters above are a little bit right and a little bit wrong. Joint and several liability means that you are each responsible for the whole amount. If one person stops paying “their half” and the other doesn’t make up the shortfall then the lender can chase you both for full payment. If neither of you pay then the house can be repossessed and both of your credit ratings will be shot. That usually means that one person ends up ponying up for the full amount. Usually the person who cares the most about getting a mortgage in the future. Sorry, it’s shit when your ex is a wanker.

If there is less than 10k equity in the property you will end up with very little after solicitors fees and estate agents fees... would it be less stressful all round to sign the house over to him and let him get on with it?

He can’t afford it on his own.