Page 2 | Leave to Remove

FikaFreya · 2026-01-30T13:11:04+00:00

I wonder if anyone has advice on my situation? I’m in the process of speaking to different solicitors, including my existing one. I have sole custody but ex DP is currently taking me to court for joint custody. He has never paid child maintenance and owes around £10k in arrears. He sees our DC every Weds evening for dinner and every other Saturday 10am-7pm. He has revealed in court papers that he has now lost his job (with a month to go until next hearing). He is also subject to an ongoing investigation for tax fraud. In the meantime, I’ve been offered a job in Sweden on double my current salary. I have family there already, and I speak Swedish fluently. Is Leave to Remove a possibility given these circumstances? It would be nice to get away from him as he’s very aggressive but that isn’t my motivation. As we would only be a 2hr flight away I would expect a lot of travel to UK and for him to visit us in Sweden to continue regular contact anyway. Grateful for any and all input!

Original poster

FikaFreya · 14/02/2026 06:37

NervouslyWaiting1 · 12/02/2026 19:51

Hvor langt er du nået i din proces?

Well my ex sent me the summons 9 months ago but this development, the leave to remove part, only went in a week or so ago. However, it has been made urgent due to the job offer expiring in April.

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Original poster

FikaFreya · 14/02/2026 06:44

likelysuspect · 12/02/2026 19:56

Would he say no? Thats your first step, to ascertain his view.

If he says no, then you go to court to apply.

Ive worked with a number of parents who wished to move abroad, despite it not really being in the child's best interest to lose that contact with the other parent (nearly everytime it was the father), the court agreed for the move to take place

The applicant must set out how they are going to maintain the contact, even if it needs to be really creative. I dont know how you would do twice a week with any meaning (would be remote probably)

Many families set out a rather pie in the sky plan, talking about regular visits and flights, you know when talking to them thats never going to happen but a court cant say 'I dont believe you'

What, in your opinion, made courts agree despite the best interest of the child not truly being served?

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Original poster

FikaFreya · 14/02/2026 06:49

Fishingboatbobbingnight · 12/02/2026 23:23

The only chance you have is if you commit to robust planning to enable your child to maintain an ‘effective relationship’ with their father . The ‘rights’ here are focussed on the child. It is the child’s right to see their father not the father’s right to see the child.
we successfully defended DH ex relocation with the kids solely down to the fact that they had a solid, regular and effective relationship that would be broken by relocation.

Thank you.

I understand what you’re saying.

In our case, my ex disappeared from our DC’s life for months at a time, and at one point physically injured her (severe bruising across buttocks). So it was only 3 months ago that we established regular contact.

I’m not sure if that makes any difference.

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likelysuspect · 14/02/2026 08:26

FikaFreya · 14/02/2026 06:44

What, in your opinion, made courts agree despite the best interest of the child not truly being served?

Show quote history

Because its a very fine balance, the alternative is saying the child should live with the father and the mother obviously then has the right to live where she wants, but there have to be really good reasons for changing the status quo and residency, it would be a loss for the child to move homes (not that this is insurmountable as such), because some of the ages of the children involved over the years I saw this were able to say they wanted to go, so that was listened to, because it was sometimes deemed as if the family that the child was growing up in was settled, financially stable, happy etc that would mitigate the loss of seeing the father (theres more nuance to that of course that would take too long to type out)

Ultimately though, despite what is said on here on every thread, the family courts very much prioritise the status quo and as that usually means the child's care by the mother, that seems to be prioritised. I dont say thats right or wrong but thats what I see

Those cases left most of the professionals leaving the court, very sad and flat. The plan for the family to move would go ahead, the court had agreed it, but on balance its very sad because you know the child's relationhip with their paternal side would be changed in such a way that there would be effective estrangement. Mothers always came with these massive plans for flights, visits, contact etc etc, but you knew that they were just pie in the sky, no family can maintain effective face to face contact like that from abroad and it doesnt take into account the father's ability to take time off work to manage that.

Original poster

FikaFreya · 14/02/2026 10:23

likelysuspect · 14/02/2026 08:26

Because its a very fine balance, the alternative is saying the child should live with the father and the mother obviously then has the right to live where she wants, but there have to be really good reasons for changing the status quo and residency, it would be a loss for the child to move homes (not that this is insurmountable as such), because some of the ages of the children involved over the years I saw this were able to say they wanted to go, so that was listened to, because it was sometimes deemed as if the family that the child was growing up in was settled, financially stable, happy etc that would mitigate the loss of seeing the father (theres more nuance to that of course that would take too long to type out)

Ultimately though, despite what is said on here on every thread, the family courts very much prioritise the status quo and as that usually means the child's care by the mother, that seems to be prioritised. I dont say thats right or wrong but thats what I see

Those cases left most of the professionals leaving the court, very sad and flat. The plan for the family to move would go ahead, the court had agreed it, but on balance its very sad because you know the child's relationhip with their paternal side would be changed in such a way that there would be effective estrangement. Mothers always came with these massive plans for flights, visits, contact etc etc, but you knew that they were just pie in the sky, no family can maintain effective face to face contact like that from abroad and it doesnt take into account the father's ability to take time off work to manage that.

Show quote history

Thank you for sharing your insight and experience. I appreciate it so much.

I can imagine the damage this must do.

I think about this dilemma every day. Is DC going to be harmed by a father who slides into alcoholism and abuse in cycles? Is he going to get better? By moving will I facilitate a safer and happier relationship or completely destroy it? Are we going to be living in relative poverty in the UK due to his decision to not pay CM or will I somehow manage to find better paid work? Will I manage to stave off serious financial consequences before that time? Will she resent me if we leave? Will we leave for 3-5 years then be able to afford to return?

I wish I knew the right answer. I try to write about it rationally but, of course, I am heartbroken. It’s an horrible situation.

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