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Original poster

High earning, asset-rich partner has cut maintenance

71 replies

AnotherNaCha · 30/09/2025 21:01

So my ex has been paying £xxx amount of maintenance which is agreed between us and has been long-standing, but not made official or through CMS etc.

But he was made redundant (and is unlikely to work again) and has suddenly halved the amount. He has gradually upped his days with our DC so now it’s almost 50/50 so says he owes me no maintenance. He is worth millions in assets.

Can this be right?

I work part time on a low wage without much hope for ever increasing that.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 30/09/2025 21:02

Well you could work full time for a start?

zipadeedodah · 30/09/2025 21:02

Ex what?

PurpleCat12 · 30/09/2025 21:09

If he has the child 50/50 then why should he pay? He should be buying the child clothes, etc and providing for them when he has them. If he had the child less than 50/50 then yes, he should pay something to you for child maintenance.

We'd all love to work part time, that's a luxury few people have. You're an adult, you need to support yourself. You don't need a man to pay your bills.

If he's having the child 50/50, why can't you work enough hours to provide for yourself?

HRchatter · 30/09/2025 21:10

Section 1 childs act, Get a good Solicitor

Original poster
AnotherNaCha · 30/09/2025 21:11

HRchatter · 30/09/2025 21:10

Section 1 childs act, Get a good Solicitor

Thank you

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 30/09/2025 21:11

why don’t you work full time?

NellieElephantine · 30/09/2025 21:12

I work part time on a low wage without much hope for ever increasing that.
Ever?
Don't you have the fear for when maintenance stops and you have to survive on that wage alone?

PurpleCat12 · 30/09/2025 21:15

I'm wondering if OP or the child is disabled? If so, get some benefits advice from Citizens Advice or your local wlefare rights place. PIP for you or DLA of it's your child that's disabled - they are the ones that aren't means-tested so you could carry on with your current job.

ThejoyofNC · 30/09/2025 21:16

What have his assets got to do with anything? If he's got the child 50/50 he probably doesn't actually need to pay anything at all.

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 30/09/2025 21:17

If he doesn't earn and has 50% custody, then surely not.
Presumably you got a fair share of assets and savings when you divorced?

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 30/09/2025 21:18

Why do you want to live off someone else instead of earn your own money. You'll be on the street when your kid's 18 and your "income" disappears.

Good luck with your 50/50 custody and thinking you'll get a chunk of maintenance.

DrowningInSyrup · 30/09/2025 21:35

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 30/09/2025 21:18

Why do you want to live off someone else instead of earn your own money. You'll be on the street when your kid's 18 and your "income" disappears.

Good luck with your 50/50 custody and thinking you'll get a chunk of maintenance.

Wow, that's a bit harsh when we don't know her circumstances. I sincerely hope she isn't on the streets. Seems to be a bit of a nasty post.

LifeBeginsToday · 30/09/2025 21:51

If he can provide for his child and you can't, he'll probably get more than 50% custody. Mums aren't automatic default these days.

LadyoftheMercians · 30/09/2025 21:52

Why can't you work full time?

Original poster
AnotherNaCha · 30/09/2025 21:59

Jeez, vicious posts. I posted in legal simply for legal advice on one matter, which precisely one poster has given.

I won’t go into superfluous personal details, aside from us not being married hence no, there was no divorce settlement. I gave up my career to support him and his and our child, for various other reasons, and have of course been totally screwed in the process. I don’t need a lecture about those choices or nasty comments telling me I’ll be on the streets FFS.

I use Mumsnet to support other women. Not be a total areh@le

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 30/09/2025 22:02

You need specialist advice. If he's worth millions then you may need to consider a variation based on unearned income - things like savings interest and the likes.

zipadeedodah · 30/09/2025 22:24

OK so ex-partner as opposed to ex-husband.

In that case you're only entitled to child support. If he's doing 50% of childcare then he won't have to pay you anything. If he's doing LESS than 50% childcare then he does. It's really quite simple.

What are your plans for when your child is 18 and all the child related money comes to an end?

LemonTT · 30/09/2025 23:44

In what way is he worth millions? I know a few people who are worth a million or two but it mostly tied up in their home and pension. What will make a difference are savings and investments and property that is not their primary residence. These all fall into assets that generate unearned income.

mummymissessunshine · 30/09/2025 23:59

HRchatter · 30/09/2025 21:10

Section 1 childs act, Get a good Solicitor

This. But. Can you attempt a mediation first? Will be cheaper than going to court.

get a good solicitor.
obvs we don’t know your / his / your child’s circumstances. Or the age of the child.

if the child is over a certain age then their wishes will be discussed with them.

what needs to be worked out is what is right for the child.

for example if the father has assets and can support himself, then does he need to sell an asset to provide for that child until they turn 18?

Some odd responses on here. a judge is not going to order a child is removed from their mother because the father has money to bring them up and the mother doesn’t. Especially where that man has not been resident and allegedly has assets which could be used to pay for the child.

i don’t know why a father would want their child to have 2 different standards of living tho.

get a good solicitor and ask them what they can do for you & your child. But move fast before the father hides assets. You are not resident so i assume you will not have access to go snooping for any records.

and as others have said, I think you may need to increase your own working hours / pay to make up the shortfall. If not now, then soon

best of luck.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 01/10/2025 19:21

AnotherNaCha · 30/09/2025 21:59

Jeez, vicious posts. I posted in legal simply for legal advice on one matter, which precisely one poster has given.

I won’t go into superfluous personal details, aside from us not being married hence no, there was no divorce settlement. I gave up my career to support him and his and our child, for various other reasons, and have of course been totally screwed in the process. I don’t need a lecture about those choices or nasty comments telling me I’ll be on the streets FFS.

I use Mumsnet to support other women. Not be a total areh@le

Edited

Whilst it's lovely that you use Mumsnet to support other women, you've ignored any suggestion of using full time employment to support yourself. Also ignoring any queries as to how you intend to support yourself when the maintenance (if you ever get any more) stops at 18.

But evidently, the concept of full time work to support yourself instead of trying to live off child support is of such offence, to imply it makes someone an "arsehole"

Good luck with getting that past the judge.

spicetails · 01/10/2025 19:25

In America in most states courts don’t like to see one Hoise considerably poorer than the other, whatever the split in time, as it’s not good for children to have massive disparities between two households. It’s about time the same happened in the UK.

Darkershadeofpink · 03/10/2025 22:03

I will post to support you, op. I am in a similar scenarios but without the potential millions. It is very hard to know where to turn. I would get some good free legal advice or pay for it. Some women cannot work or cannot get back to earning what they used to. I know a friend in this scenario and he had to pay to house the child in a decent rental. He sounds financially abusive. I would get the advice and you are not alone. Please consider other ways he may be abusive.

CoralPombear · 03/10/2025 22:12

If he has been made redundant and has your dc 50% of the time then I’d imagine no more child maintenance is due and presumably he knows this and has been lining this position up for some time. You can’t rely on any support from him, it sounds like he also knew exactly what he was doing by not getting married. New start needed, time to get back out there and earn it for yourself.

Viviennemary · 03/10/2025 22:13

If he has no income how can he pay maintenance.

HRchatter · 04/10/2025 06:04

Viviennemary · 03/10/2025 22:13

If he has no income how can he pay maintenance.

Sell one of these bloody assets like every mother in the world would do if that’s what they needed to do to survive and look after their child
It’s not fucking optional

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