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Do I need fathers permission to take children on holiday?

33 replies

novanoir · 11/07/2025 16:46

Basically what the title says!
Im taking my children away for 2 weeks to America in September with their grandparents.
Their father and I were not married and do not have any court orders or agreements in place, amicable split so work things out between ourselves.
Do I need any form of permission from him?

OP posts:
Loveduppenguin · 11/07/2025 16:47

Whose surname do they have?

BabyCatFace · 11/07/2025 16:47

Yes you would be sensible to take a permission letter with you and a copy of their birth certificates. You probably won't need it but it makes sense to take it.

BabyCatFace · 11/07/2025 16:47

Loveduppenguin · 11/07/2025 16:47

Whose surname do they have?

It makes no difference.

BertieBotts · 11/07/2025 16:48

If it's amicable, it simplifies things significantly if you can take a signed affadivit. The US is notoriously one of the places that like to see them.

Loveduppenguin · 11/07/2025 16:48

BabyCatFace · 11/07/2025 16:47

It makes no difference.

I’m sure it doesn’t but if you share a surname it’s easier I presume…I’ve never had to bring a letter when Travelling with my dc. And I travel with them alone a lot!

BertieBotts · 11/07/2025 16:49

Legally you don't need it and you can get away without it but it's just simpler to have it.

Triffid1 · 11/07/2025 16:53

Theoretically, you need his permission. But it is never specified what that is (well, some countries do - eg south africa). I always take the children's birth certificates.

If you have a positive and amicable relationship, taking a copy of your ex's passport with an attached note from him, including his contact details, won't do any harm.

novanoir · 11/07/2025 16:53

They have a double barrelled surname, so both of our names. x

OP posts:
Oooohlalaa · 11/07/2025 17:13

Loveduppenguin · 11/07/2025 16:48

I’m sure it doesn’t but if you share a surname it’s easier I presume…I’ve never had to bring a letter when Travelling with my dc. And I travel with them alone a lot!

Do you mean because you have the same surname you've never had a problem?

I have a different one to my DC and I've never been challenged either, and we travel a lot too - but someone asked me the other day if I was taking their birth certificates with me so it's obviously a common worry? I just don't know if it's founded?

OP, I don't know the answer I'm afraid. I'd guess that you can assume permission in the absence of resistance.

prh47bridge · 11/07/2025 18:33

The central question is whether he has parental responsibility. If he is named on the birth certificate, he has PR. You say there are no court orders or agreements, so that rules out the other ways he could have got PR. If he has PR, you need his consent or an appropriate court order to take your children out of the country. Regardless of whether you actually need it, it would be advisable to take a letter with you signed by him showing that he consents. You probably won't need it but, in the event that they are checking, this will be easier than explaining that you don't need his consent.

Loveduppenguin · 11/07/2025 18:50

Oooohlalaa · 11/07/2025 17:13

Do you mean because you have the same surname you've never had a problem?

I have a different one to my DC and I've never been challenged either, and we travel a lot too - but someone asked me the other day if I was taking their birth certificates with me so it's obviously a common worry? I just don't know if it's founded?

OP, I don't know the answer I'm afraid. I'd guess that you can assume permission in the absence of resistance.

I was under the impression that they would ask less questions if you share a surname…maybe not the case though.

Another2Cats · 11/07/2025 18:55

prh47bridge · 11/07/2025 18:33

The central question is whether he has parental responsibility. If he is named on the birth certificate, he has PR. You say there are no court orders or agreements, so that rules out the other ways he could have got PR. If he has PR, you need his consent or an appropriate court order to take your children out of the country. Regardless of whether you actually need it, it would be advisable to take a letter with you signed by him showing that he consents. You probably won't need it but, in the event that they are checking, this will be easier than explaining that you don't need his consent.

"Regardless of whether you actually need it, it would be advisable to take a letter with you signed by him showing that he consents. You probably won't need it but, in the event that they are checking, this will be easier than explaining that you don't need his consent."

I agree.

I have kept my maiden name for various reasons (work related) but DC have their father's surname (I am quite happy with this).

Never had a problem arriving in another country with DC but without DH. The only time we were ever stopped and questioned was on returning to the UK (due to me having different surname to DC).

I pulled out the letter from DH and all was fine.

Oooohlalaa · 11/07/2025 20:04

Loveduppenguin · 11/07/2025 18:50

I was under the impression that they would ask less questions if you share a surname…maybe not the case though.

Yes that's what I've heard as well now, but I was surprised when my friend asked about the birth certificates as it's never come up for me before. Maybe just had some lucky breaks.

prh47bridge · 11/07/2025 21:28

Oooohlalaa · 11/07/2025 20:04

Yes that's what I've heard as well now, but I was surprised when my friend asked about the birth certificates as it's never come up for me before. Maybe just had some lucky breaks.

Many parents take their children out of the country every year without the necessary consent. Most of them don't run into any problems. However, a few lose their holiday because they are refused boarding in the UK or refused entry at their destination.

Vodkamartini3olives · 11/07/2025 23:31

I've lived in the US for nearly 15yrs and I've traveled frequently domestically and internationally on my own with the kids. I've never once been asked for any kind of permission/ documentation.

Oooohlalaa · 11/07/2025 23:40

prh47bridge · 11/07/2025 21:28

Many parents take their children out of the country every year without the necessary consent. Most of them don't run into any problems. However, a few lose their holiday because they are refused boarding in the UK or refused entry at their destination.

I have the consent, just not the birth certificates. Would I be refused entry because of that?

SeLHopeful2024 · 11/07/2025 23:41

Definitely take copies of birth certificates.
I was a bit blasé about the whole having a letter etc as me and my DP (father) are together but not married so different names.
Travelled a lot in DS's 4 years and never needed either...till last week.
Also, passport control questioned my old (gently) to confirm I was mum.
Highly embarrassing when he refused to refer to me as anything but my first name....which he's never done before!

I will be taking birth certificate and letter next time 'just in case'.

FighterPilotSwifts · 12/07/2025 00:20

Out of interest has anyone heard of a father travelling alone with their children being asked if they have permission from the mum?

My DD was asked once by an airport worker "who is this lady?" Referring to me. She was about 3 years old and just looked at her blankly. We were still allowed to board the plane despite me having to coach DD into telling her I was her mum. So not a very effective way of stopping trafficking

Maxorias · 12/07/2025 01:20

It depends very much on the country. My home country will ask no questions most of the time unless it is very obvious a minor is travelling with someone who isn't a parent. But the country where DD was born was a bloody dictatorship about it and I couldn't leave the country without the local birth certificate (they wouldn't take registration with my country civil registry, which is essentially a birth certificate for someone born abroad), and they wouldn't let her out of the country without local ID. Which was a pain as it took forever to get it (I did everything right, they just were much slooooower than the 20 working days they told me).

We had my home country's ID for my daughter ages before the local country (and she was a citizen of both !)

Long answer short : most of the time no one will ask anything but it's enough of a hassle when they do that it's better for your own peace of mind to have everything on hand.

Ponderingwindow · 12/07/2025 01:32

Just traveling domestically within the U.S., our DD has been questioned from quite a young age to confirm that she is traveling with her parents. When she was too young to be confident to speak to a TSA agent in the middle of a crowded security checkpoint, was still prompted by them to point to her mom and then point to her dad.

There have been spot checks on other flights as well. The first was just memorable.

this was a domestic flight, we all have seats, and tsa precheck.

we never get our bags searched or any other extra screening, but they often questioned our daughter. Just quickly, never a big deal.

If getting a letter is not difficult, get the letter.

PurpleThistle7 · 12/07/2025 02:27

FighterPilotSwifts · 12/07/2025 00:20

Out of interest has anyone heard of a father travelling alone with their children being asked if they have permission from the mum?

My DD was asked once by an airport worker "who is this lady?" Referring to me. She was about 3 years old and just looked at her blankly. We were still allowed to board the plane despite me having to coach DD into telling her I was her mum. So not a very effective way of stopping trafficking

My husband took our daughter away without me twice when I was pregnant and there were lots of questions both times. We had a notorised letter for a trip to the states and an extra form we needed for South Africa for that trip.

Springtimehere · 12/07/2025 02:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Oooohlalaa · 12/07/2025 09:02

I don't mean to derail the actual thread but this has got me thinking a lot - surely anyone traveling with children should carry the birth certificates in this case? Same last name or not. Having the same last name really doesn't mean a lot in the grand scheme of things.

And a letter from the other parent every time come to that.

BabyCatFace · 12/07/2025 09:09

Oooohlalaa · 12/07/2025 09:02

I don't mean to derail the actual thread but this has got me thinking a lot - surely anyone traveling with children should carry the birth certificates in this case? Same last name or not. Having the same last name really doesn't mean a lot in the grand scheme of things.

And a letter from the other parent every time come to that.

Yes. You're maybe less likely to be asked if you share a surname but technically you can be asked any time if travelling with a child. My ex shares a surname with DS and he was asked once - border control actually phoned me to ask if I consented to him taking DS out of the country. He was taking him on a ferry in a packed van though and doesn't have a British passport so I think that was why he flagged !

Triffid1 · 12/07/2025 09:22

This is interesting. I have never had any problems but have been asked many times. I wonder if it's some combination of factors? Different names, the fact thatI was born in another country, my children's surnames are not English but they have English passports?

Dh has travelled with ds alone. He definitely did get questioned but he had birth certificate snd letter from me. We felt that was especially nb as he doesn't have a British passport.