Will suicide attempt stop me seeing my daughter?

[Fatherdoinghisbest]

My wife and I have been separated for six months and living apart, but we have been spending time together looking after our two-year-old daughter, sharing her 50/50. Two weeks ago, a dispute arose over taking my daughter, which was my scheduled day to have her. My wife got out of the car at her property, where I had just dropped them off. She went around to the passenger side where our daughter was sitting, and my daughter started saying that she wanted to go to Mummy's house. I asked my wife not to escalate the situation, but she kept insisting, saying things like, “She wants to go to Mummy's house, doesn’t she, Nicole?” It was a chaotic encounter, and I wasn't sure what the best course of action was, especially since my wife was getting agitated.
To defuse the situation, I slowly moved my car forward. My wife had her hand on the passenger door and closed it as I pulled away. Later that night, the police arrived at my house at 11:00 PM, responding to a report that I had “ripped my daughter from her mother.” I explained what had happened and showed them that my daughter was fast asleep upstairs in her cot, perfectly fine.
The next morning, my wife knocked on my front door, but I didn't let her in because I wanted to avoid further confrontation. She then started kicking the door and shouting, which caused our daughter to scream and cry. I called the police, who told my wife to leave. I have a crime reference number for that incident.
A few days later, while we were out together, I was due to drop my wife and daughter off at her house. My wife had just been explaining that if our daughter wanted to go to one of our properties, she would allow it, saying whatever our daughter wanted. However, she accused me of forcing our daughter to do things she didn’t like, which supposedly made our daughter extra clingy to her. When it came time to drop them off, my wife didn't expect my daughter to start saying, “I want to go with Daddy!” As my wife went around to the passenger side again, our daughter was sternly yelling, “No, go away, Mum! I want to stay with Daddy!”
I remained quiet, but when I felt our daughter was being rude, I gently reminded her to be polite, saying something like, “Don't be mean to Mummy.’” My wife then walked away crying, clearly upset and embarrassed because everything she had said about our daughter's clinginess being my fault was proven wrong—the truth was, our daughter wanted to stay with me. As my wife turned around and shouted that I needed to make sure our daughter goes to nursery at 9 AM, she stormed into the house.
Feeling bad, I texted my wife, saying, “Don't worry, Nicole didn't mean what she was saying. If you’d like, I can bring her to your house in the morning so you can walk her to nursery.” The next day, my wife texted me to inform me that she had filed for divorce and requested an emergency hearing for custody of our daughter.
That same day, I received news that I might lose my house and my business, which felt overwhelming. In a moment of despair, I gathered all the digital photos I had of my daughters. I sent my wife a video expressing my thoughts and apologies for not being able to provide for everyone, which included a suicide note. I switched off my phone and took a large amount of paracetamol. The police found me in a lay-by at 11 PM. Thankfully, I hadn’t taken enough pills to finish the act, and I was taken to the hospital.
Looking back, it seems incredible that I would do such a thing just a few days after everything happened. This impulsive act was partly due to the antidepressants I had been taking for over four weeks. One of the side effects of these medications is that, when they start taking effect (typically within four to six weeks), they can increase suicidal thoughts in individuals who are already feeling suicidal. Ironically, the medication, which is supposed to help, can also numb feelings enough to lead to self-harm.
However, I have come to terms with these distressing events and am now feeling much better. I have let go of the negative emotions and am looking forward to the future. The problem is that my wife is now using this information against me. Even though she had previously restricted contact with me, she is now leveraging my mental health struggles to argue that she will keep our daughter until the court case and is asking for supervised contact and a mental health examination.
My question is: would it be possible for me to obtain a mental health examination before the court case to expedite the process? What do you think the outcome might be, with or without the medical report?

And as I am not at a permanent address, how can I be sure the emergency summons gets to me? Do they have to hand deliver or use recorded delivery?

You need professional help op
and You should seek that before any contact in person with your child
face time fine

And for future reference To defuse the situation, I slowly moved my car forward.

is never going to defuse an argument such as you describe

I think you need proper legal advice. Or failing that advice from a parenting charity. family-action.org.uk/get-support/familyline/

Yes, getting it. I have met them in the park on Father's Day since then. She left me with her to have a cigarette for 10 minutes. At the end, my daughter clung to me and wanted to go home with me afterwards. After that, my wife stopped contact because she had to pull my screaming daughter from the car.

I'm sorry you're going through all this.

Make sure you get support for your mental health. That would be the first and most important step.
You'll need evidence to show that you're taking the right steps, rather than 'I've put myself together and am feeling better now'.

Best wishes

Why was your daughter in your car after contact if it was just a few mins at the park? I’m confused

Because by the look of it, the OP didn’t pass her over to her mother but instead put her in his car and began to edge the car forward.

This was outrageous behaviour. You daughter is a toddler, the fact she wanted to go with you does NOT mean that you keep her

Look - I will be frank with you,even though I understand that you are feeling vulnerable at he moment.

You must get some help for all of you - talk to social services, to your doctor. You must do this for the sake of your child.

Rule number one is that you NEVER EVER use a child as a pawn in your marital discord. Try to imagine how frightening this is for a child - who has no power. The two people who should be the rocks on whom she can depend to protect her are pulling her from pillar to post. And she is being ask to take responsibility for not being "mean " to mummy - she does not even know what that means .... she is too young. She is just saying how she feels. Please make a start by keeping this in mind.

I can see you are wanting to get things right for your child. The only way you can do this is to be completely selfless and put her needs before anything and anyone else.

Contact social services, surgery, health visitor. Do it first thing tomorrow - you will be taking the first steps to secure a happier future for your child. Things cannot go on as they are.

@Gingerbisi thought this bit about the pulling forward was before the park trip! I’m wondering if he tried to put the daughter in the car again when it was supervised contact

I think it would be interesting to hear the other side of the story.

First things first, you need to get help with your mental health. I have personal experience of this- a dad who would threaten to kill himself and a sister who did kill herself leaving a young child. Utterly life ruining for those left behind.

Are you in England?
if you don't have a stable home how do you plan on having your daughter for contact? Were you expecting to spend time with her with your wife/at her house?
The whole situation sounds like a ridiculous mess between two people who should know better and your suicide attempt (after texting your wife to make sure she knew about it) was manipulative and unstable behaviour. It's likely you won't be able to see your daughter without supervision for a while until you can evidence you can behave rationally and aren't a risk of emotional harm to her.

You sound like you are both weaponising and manipulating your young child

and yes If I was her mother - attempting to drive off whilst she was in contact with the car and a suicide attempt - id be using this against you in any custody case. You’ve played into her hands but neither of you are exactly covering yourselves in glory here

I really think your DD's needs to come first here and you are not stable enough to care for her at the moment. I think you should see her, like you did yesterday, to keep the contact going, but you really need some extensive help with your mental health and you need to get back to working and having a stable home. There are clearly some very raw emotions between you and your ex and neither of you are able to control yourselves when around your child. That is hugely damaging for her and it needs to stop now. The safest way forward is probably that you see your child in a contact centre for a while until you are back on your feet.

If there is a suicide attempt, social services will likely assess if your daughter is safe with you.

I’m sorry you are struggling at the minute, but there’s something off about this whole post. It comes across across as very manipulative. If genuine, you should want your ex wife to be giving you the chance to get well - you think having a toddler overnight alone when you’re suicidal is a good idea? I’m also not convinced on the timings for the antidepressants - from experience it was within the first 2 weeks of taking them things got worse, and the moment I told my doctor how I was feeling they stopped them and gave me something different to try. No waiting it out to see if it improved. By 4 weeks in I wouldn’t be expecting them to suddenly make things worse.

i think it sounds like things are confusing with your ex - why are you driving her around, going out together with your child (before the suicide attempt that is)? You absolutely should not have started to “roll the car forwards” - presumably the car door was either still open or your wife was about to open it to try to calm your daughter down given how upset she was and this was your way of showing her who was in control.

Get help to get well so you can be the best dad you can be. Make sure you can provide her a home. You shouldn’t be having any suicidal thoughts if you are pushing to have your daughter alone again. And ask yourself truthfully, if you were trying to manipulate your ex in some way.

Christ. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance.

I can not get past the language skills he describes this two year old as having, and if, one accepts his account, how that is translated in his head to have meaning about where the child wants to be,

as most parents know a two year old is not able to articulate their wants and needs on such a issue as where they should live or be.

i was horrified by this post.

Your wife is taking appropriate steps given the situation. Even without the suicide attempt, this custody situation is simply untenable. The two of you are behaving inappropriately and even your own description of your behavior with your vehicle clearly describes a dangerous scenario.

If you want what is best for your child, then get mental health services in place for yourself and then hire a solicitor and let the professional handle the divorce and custody negotiations. Be clear about your goals for your level of parenting, but let your solicitor do the actual talking.

I was stuck between warring parents as a child and at 54 I'm still scarred from it. Do better. For your child, if not yourself. I wish you well but you need to seriously reassess your priorities here. Your child isn't a prize to win, you need to take complete accountability for what you've done, and stop point scoring with your ex before you lose all access to your child.

This was a different occasion. On the day OP moved the car forward it was his turn to have his daughter but his wife was trying to take her. Most likely DD saw she'd arrived at her mum's house and was just impulsively wanting to go in, but she'd likely have been fine once she got back to her dad's.

It sounds to me like the wife is being the difficult one here, although granted we've only heard one side of the story.

A suicide attempt wouldn't stop you from seeing your daughter bur if proffesionals do their job properly, you shouldn't be alone with her until your no longer a risk to yourself

If you've attempted suicide recently so impulsively, there is nothing to say that you wouldn't do that again in the future, possibly with your child in the house ect ( that's what proffesionals will say )

Unfortunately, you are now a risk to your daughter.

Get some support in place for yourself, get therapy and go through the proper routes for contact with your daughter

Good luck

You need to seek professional help, both legally and personally. Your legal representative should talk to your wife about arrangements while you are obtaining mental health help.
You must at all times think about what’s best for your daughter. This does mean contact with her mother. She needs her mum, no matter what you think of the woman. She needs her dad to be together for her. Don’t escalate this situation by being the victim or manipulating the system in your favour. If things are really unfair, let your lawyer sort it out.

The hospital would automatically do a safeguarding referral if you attend with mental health problems (including parasuicide) and have child contact.
The majority of these are closed at triage with no further action. If you haven’t heard from them this is likely what happened: they assessed as not being a risk.
Call child social services and ask. On the off chance a referral was not made they would assess the situation.
The main risks I see are the arguments in front of your daughter, which involve both parents, and the restriction of contact by your wife.

Chaotic parenting on both sides