Can he change his will to leave the house to the OW?

[Stormysummer]

we are already tenants in common and have been for many years, I found out in may my husband has been having an affair with OW for 18months. (She’s still married and her husband is elderly and dying he’s also her 3rd husband and has said she only married him for his money, isolated him from family etc.) She has said that she wants to marry H 4 weeks after her H dies, We have a decree nisi but not absolute. As it stands his half of the house is left to me should he die, and vice versa, but the OW is telling him to change his will to leave it to her even though we’re not divorced yet. Where do I stand? Could I contest the will?

That’s a very good idea!

Thank you everyone, for your advice and answers, I’ll get a few balls rolling. It looks like she has her claws into him and there’s nothing I can do.

He did actually trick me into being tenants in common about 5 years ago, made me sign for his letter that the postman was dropping off because he was desperate for the loo 🙄 I just don’t want to be caught out like that again.

This is a good idea in principle, but in practice he could still leave the OW with half the house if he died tomorrow still married, will permitting.

As the OW is clearly a gold digger - getting him to break ties with his children is classic gold digging behaviour - then the OP is best off getting divorced and having a clean break of it ASAP.

Unfortunately, men (and I'm one myself!) are prone to making decisions below the waist line, and old men, are particularly prone to this kind of con. There is no doubt she is a con woman, one husband about to pass away, another lined up who is in poor health, will changes, encouraging disconnection from kids, its actually very sad to see, the DH is of course behaving very badly, but is to an extent a victim of probably a very smooth operator.

After 18 months it will be impossible to extricate him from this course of action, and the OP is best off away from it, completely, at the earliest opportunity.

Don't feel too bad about that, joint tenants can unilaterally sever the joint tenancy to tenants in common without the others consent - so he didn't need your signature, there is a way he could do it without anyway and you can't stop it.

You need to change your own will asap.

I do feel sorry for him in a way, he is very obviously being manipulated by the OW, granted our relationship hasn’t been great for quite a few years but we were on the whole amicable, but he is now just filled with hate for me and is intent on hurting me, any way possible no doubt fuelled by her!

I'm afraid this is a carbon copy of the situation we have seen unfolding in our village - a man in his 70's, had a successful career, had been married 30+ years, was in his youth a bit of a hit with the ladies.

Then along comes a younger woman who latched onto him, slowly disconnecting him from children and grandchildren, then divorce from the wife - at the moment he thinks all is wonderful - but if he stopped to think WHY would the new woman want him to break contact with his family, if she did truly love him without agenda she would welcome his family - of course to an outside eye the reason is obvious, she is removing heirs, because she is positioning herself to inherit.

And she will, almost certainly move onto the next mark, possibly before he is dead, just as with your situation.

All his decisions are based on his ego being massaged, feeling he still has it in him - his cutting off his family is monstrous, but somehow, it makes sense, to him, she will have convinced him of various reasons why.

Absolutely, to ensure he gets nothing if misfortune fell on OP.

Yes, that is the case at the moment, but there are plans to change the law so that the will will still be valid to stop gold diggers like this woman.

I hope they change it soon as this is happening all too often.

There really is no fool like an old fool.

She obviously sees he is in bad health and has her claws in already. Has he not even the wit to say to her, “why don’t you change your will to be in my favour, or even better give me a gift of half your assets now, up front”. Do you have children/grandchildren?

Gosh, she truly is a despicable wicked woman. How sad that your husband is so in thrall to her.

How much is your house worth? What about pensions? Any legal bill will come out of your settlement so if there’s a fair bit floating about it will almost certainly be a good idea to get proper legal advice. It won’t just benefit you but your children and grandchildren as you will have more to leave them. Looks like they won’t be getting anything if the OW outlives him.

Why on Earth did you choose tenants in common years ago. Seems weird for a couple /married

I can't be much help on the legal side but just wanted to say we have been through this same thing with FIL.
You get woman who had already been widowed twice moved in and quickly cut him off from all family. Never let him spend a penny and was incredibly controling. Would constantly say "I'm not a gold digger and I'll sign anything you want to protect FIL assets" but when I politely agreed that it would be a good idea to do just that to protect all involved and stop the wider family butting in she went wild. Called me every name under the sun and further tried to reduce FIL contact with us. She convinced him to sell the family home and land (which was in the process of being signed over to his son's) and buy a new house just for them which would be in joint names despite her not contributing a penny. When we again voiced our concern she kicked off and hit him. Blamed his sons for 'protecting their inheritance' (the land and home had belonged to there deceased mother) BIL immediately got in a flight and stayed with him to make sure she never came back. This chaos ruled our lives for 4 years.

Get your divorce, seek legal advice and make sure you get every penny due to you in the divorce.

It's quite standard for older married couples and younger couples with children, as it gives many more protections for inheritance than Joint Tenants.

With correctly worded wills Tenants in Common prevents one partners assets getting counted for care of the other, or in insolvency in younger couples. Generally it's the better way to own property if you are passing it down the generations.

Joint tenants can be broken to tenants in common by either party, without the consent of the other at any time - The OP was obviously hoodwinked into signing a change of title, but the husband could have done it alone.

Sorry to read this, it happens a lot, hope she didn't come back and got nowt.

that won't stop him willing his share of the house away.

Could he be classified as a vulnerable adult due to his declining health? If so, could get SS involved or report OW behaviour to local LADO team for investigation.
Any POAs in place that could be triggered?

He tricked me into signing it, I didn’t agree to it.

Happened exactly same here. Seems more common than thought!

The problem is he knows exactly what he is doing, so he’s not a vulnerable person. There is no way I’m staying with him and will be selling the house so he will also have to sell. The house is worth about £250k, £125k wouldn’t buy much in this area (I luckily have an investor lined up to secure a nice property) so he is trapped in a way and has to go ahead with his plans of marrying the OW, otherwise he will have very little. I think it is slowly dawning on him that he has driven his family away, and knows she is a gold digger, the doubt is slowly slipping in that she isn’t all she says she is but he is stuck with her now.

You really, really need competent legal advice from a family solicitor, particularly since you were coerced into giving up your rights as a joint tenant.

do you actually have an agreed financial settlement? It doesn’t sound like it.

what other assets are there - pensions, investments, ISAs.

don’t shoot yourself in the foot - a couple of grand on legal advice will be money well spent.

This woman absolutely knows what she’s doing in terms of conning money out of deluded old men.

The money you spend on getting expert legal advice will be the best investment you can make for your future.

He has 2 good pensions, plus state pension, I’m sure he has some savings but don’t know how much. He has a very flashy car worth about £20k she said she will buy it from him for £4k to hide the asset. I have a bit of savings not much, state and nhs pension which isn’t great because I was part time looking after the kids. I will get some legal advice, but all I really want is to know my son will receive something on his death and a clean break, I will make sure the financial order is in place before finalising the divorce although it’s more in his interests than mine, but I don’t want him coming after me when she has rinsed him dry.
thank you, for all the advice, I have taken it all on board, I just wish it wasn’t going to be a year before he was getting out of my life!

How old is ow?

I don’t know for certain, I’m guessing late 60’s early 70’s possibly, I only know her first name, I think they met on a dating app.