Inheritance in 1st vs 2nd families.

[DreamingOfASilentNight]

Just something that's cropped up which seems a bit illogical to me, but I'm curious if my logic is just off.

Husband has been married before and has 2 adult children. In his will he wants to leave equal shares to his adult children and our younger 2 children , sensible to me so far.

He divorced his ex wife some time ago and she received what can only be described as a HUGE settlement which has been invested and grown. (We know this for sure as they are still friendly and he does her accounts for her).

Solicitor suggested that any money I have left after I bring up my children and spend on living at the end of my life should not be left and split between my children as we assumed, but it should be as it should be split between all four of my husbands children. I questioned this as did my husband as the older ones would inherit a large amount from their mother which although had grown from investment has essentially come from him t basically is an inheritance from their mother and my children's would be an inheritance from me.
In short they would all receive from their father and all receive from their respective mothers. We Both thought this was fair and sensible

Am I the one with the strange idea or is the solicitor?In likelihood the sums will be similar , with the caveat that me and my children are younger than his ex wife so with probability inflation could have caused them to increase by that time, although what they can buy will also cost more if you see what I mean.
I'm really confused by this and the solicitor s insistence this is what should be done. I was already puzzled by the level complexity the solicitor was going into; I appreciate the situation isn't as simple as it could be, but this doesn't seem logical. Is it just me not understanding?

7& 13. Oldest 38 and 36

Then refuse. The solicitor can't make you + if your husband is terminal (so sorry to hear that aswell) the solicitor won't be in your life after he passes anyway so you can sign whatever you like & still change it even if it's just written down so there's a record of your intention to change it in the event of an accident beforehand.

Your right to want to put your kids first though obviously

It’s not up to the solicitor. You can do whatever will you want for yourself and that does not have to include his older kids, especially as they’re set to inherit a fortune already.

It's not up to the solicitor to decide how your DH money is left. He can suggest things but that is all. Your DH is the one who decides because it's his money. Splitting some of his money between all DC and leaving enough for you and your DC to move onwards is fair. You decide how you want to leave your money. You can also change your will at any point in time in the future OP. You could also just get a solicitor who does as you ask of him without giving his opinions and judgement too. I'd ask your DH to change solicitors. What you have suggested is very fair to all DC. I hope DH leaves the house to you too. Sorry he won't be around longer with you and your DC. That must be tough and tell DH you don't need his solicitor making it harder for you.

I dont think he's re thinking. He was actually exhausted after the meet and had been sleeping since we came home yesterday pm so haven't really discussed.

It makes sense the guy had forgotten that this isn't a long term scenario and treating the same as a couple who expect to leave another 20 or 30 years as that would be a different story.

RE the amount. Including the amounts he's planning to give to the 4 children and excluding my house it's about 5.5 I believe without specifically looking up the exact details. I am not a spender.dh had always kept a really tight reign in my speeding and it's become serving nature. It's not particularly my nature anyway so hopefully it will be enough. I've no idea.

It is not in your interest or that of your children to leave half of your estate to your step children.

You can be quite clear that you want your will drafted to leave whatever you have to your children and expect your solicitor to draft a will according to your instructions.

Or if it is all getting too much for your husband, then sign the same will as him and simply go to another solicitor and change it immediately.

I think his children should receive 50% of his assets and you should receive the other 50%. So 4 children split 50% of his assets. If your 2 are young their share can go into a bank account that can't be touched until 18. Your will isn't anything to do with his children. They have their own mother to inherit from. You leave your money when you die to your children.

The solicitors job its to act for you. Sure they can give advice but they need to follow their clients instructions. If you feel uncomfortable or attacked by them maybe you need to find someone else to do the will. I wonder if they have links to the mother or the family in some way.

5.5 what million, hundreds of thousands?

The older children can wait. Definitely ring fence their inheritance but the priority should be making sure your children get to their first job. A trust for all 4 and a monthly stipend til the youngest are 25.

Did they definitely mean for you to split it equally four ways or just to consider all 4 children.

If the bulk of his estate passes to you, this is half yours and half his at this point. In your will your half would be split 2 ways but the half that was essentially his would be split 4 ways.

So your DCs get 1/4 from you and 1/8 from him = 3/8 each
His DCs get 1/8 each - his half split by 4.

The solicitor is nuts.

Your dh needs to split his assets as he sees fit - he should consider all HIS kids equally regarding his assets. If he is leaving a generous sum to you then you may consider passing some of that on in your own will to your sdc as well as your own dc, but otherwise what you leave behind (assuming significant assets of your own before and during marriage) is yours and you should split between your joint DC only

His DC are going to inherit Megabucks via their mum so won't be short.

I believe my dad and stepmums wills are set up like this. Equal shares of my dad's estate to his 3 dc, my step mum's share will go entirely to my half sister. My sibling and I have already inherited from our own mum, why should our sister share her mum's inheritance with us?

I can see the solicitors point of view, although you don't have to agree.

I have a friend who was the older child in this situation. If her Dad had died, she would receive a bequest but the bulk of his estate would go to his wife to bring up their child. If she were to die, possibly 20 years later, it would all go to the second child, which didn't seem very fair.

It depends who is bringing what into the marriage.

i know quite old but still, does your husband have his own money or it is joint,
because finances really are yours and your husbands, and your step children will be inheriting from their mother as well. whereas your joint children will inherit from you both only.

my husband has 2 i have 1 and we share 1, so we are giving each child 1 share from each blood related parent, so our joint child will get two shares, because she will not inherit from any other parent, we have mirrored wills.