Unmarried, selling house that we’ve just bought - help…

[haveimadeamistake]

Moved in with my partner last month. Long story short, it’s not going well and I think we’ll be separating. We’re not married, no children together but I have 1 DD. He paid the deposit and fees, we were to sign a minute of agreement which stated he’d get the deposit and fees back if we sold, with the equity then split 50/50. He hasn’t signed his copy of the document so it hasn’t been filed with the solicitor yet. He has another property, I have nothing. I don’t think he could take the mortgage on alone based on just his income so we’d have to sell. How do I get out of this as unscathed as possible? What do I do?

You will lose money selling so quickly. So if I were you I’d just quickly walk away and hope that he can afford to keep the house either himself or with a lodger and you don’t need to pay him anything additionally. You certainly won’t be making any money here

The comments on this thread! Why so much spite towards the op?

If he also wants out of this arrangement you might be able to come to an arrangement where he takes the loss for the legal fees.

I read your other thread, you’re definitely doing the right thing. Sounds like it’s going to be tough financially but focus on the end goal of getting free of this situation.

It’s the op trying to escape seeing as he’s becoming abusive/bullying to her 3yo daughter. She didn’t ask for this to happen. She’s lost her home to move in with this prick, why should she be left penniless and homeless now he’s started being nasty to her toddler?

I’ve seen your other thread too.

I’d go with an open, frank conversation to discuss options on HOW YOU MOVE OUT. As you have said, you are not afraid that he will become violent, so you do not need to leave at a moment’s notice (unless that changes, in which case head to your parents).

If it were me, I’d suggest living as housemates from now on in if you are financially not able to move out immediately. Assuming two bedrooms, you take the bigger room and share with your DD, and he takes the other room. Do it tonight. Draw the line. Cook separately, do your DD separately, make your own social/christmas plans. See it as a room in a house share. It will be tough but it has to be done.

Tomorrow, call an estate agent/your solicitor and sound them out on how long/how much the process to sell might take.

If you move out, could he get a lodger to cover the mortgage with him?

Start. Saving. Up.

Whatever happens next is going to cost you; if you are on the mortgage and sell at a loss you are half liable for that. If you get out as you came in (which you’d be lucky to do) then you will also be needing a deposit for your next place. So saving is absolutely crucial.

You absolutely have to get out though, there is no way round that and as quickly as possible. This situation is damaging your daughter every single day, with every single interaction. She should not be in this position, no child should and you are the ONLY person able to get her out of this.

Step up, toughen up and sort it out - your future self will thank you for acting so decisively.

Assuming that you have no assets or savings (and that is why you put no deposit into the house) then hopefully your partner will take the hit on any early repayment charge knowing that he can't get blood out of a stone.

I think you only need to be concerned with moving out- any family you can stay with? Leave the house for your partner to sort out. There will be no money in the house owed to you - likely a loss at this point due to an early repayment charge.

You will also have to factor in any Early Repayment Charge on the mortgage, that you will both be liable for.
If he paid all the fees including legal fees then it is only right that he gets them back - or do you think differently ?
The cost of seeling will be huge - estate agents, more legal fees and mortgage redemption costs.

It’s his house really, have you paid anything into it at all? If not, just get your name taken off the mortgage and deeds and move out.

The OP is the one who needs to escape.

Her 'partner' is treating her DD very badly

I don't think she's after money, just how much they'd be able to minimise costs

You can't just do that - mortgage provider needs to agree that the one left can afford it by himself, and the OP has already said that he couldn't afford it alone.

Legal advice sounds good there tbh.

Oh! I saw that one but didn’t put two and two together.

I’ve not seen your other thread, but some of the comments seem unnecessarily harsh. Sounds like a very tricky situation all round.

If you sell now then you (plural) will have an early repayment charge on the mortgage, estate agent selling fees and legal fees. This will of course be on top of the legal fees and stamp duty fees that were paid at the start. Plus you will likely struggle to actually sell and may need to accept lower offer tk sell.

Lots of people are saying that you will be liable for half, but it sounds like you you don’t simply don’t any savings / assets to cover half of this. Given that it sounds like you bought the property in equal shares and haven’t (yet) signed any agreement to protect your ex’s deposit, it sounds like he is quite likely to end up covering the full loss from his equity and any remaining equity after that would go to him. Obviously that’s not fair on him, but it doesn’t sound like there is any other way that you would
be able to sell the house.

The best option would be if your ex is able to take on the house and mortgage on his own, your lender would need to agree that he meets affordability criteria. You mention that he has another property so he may need to sell that in order increase his mortgage capacity. This would then allow you to walk away and your ex to be able to stay in the property for long enough to not incur a loss.

In the short term, do you / your daughter have any other family to stay with?

Goodl luck, and a word of warning, even if you do move out of the house, if you’re still on the mortgage then you are still jointly liable for payments.

On your other thread you've said he paid the deposit and fees so he gets that back. And the rest is split (if any).
I'd look for a way out that's uncomplicated, personally I'd walk away, you've nothing to gain except a headache from insisting the house is sold, get yourself removed from the deeds & leave.

There are huge risks for both parties here if they don’t address the situation in a reasonable and grown up way. This is easier said than done given the emotional impact of what has happened and what will happen.

One obvious answer for him is to consolidate his capital and borrowing into one affordable property but that isn’t an immediate solution and he would need time to do this. This won’t be free of cost and risk to him.

The OP isn’t trying to get half the equity (which is just a deposit). But she is on the hook for mortgage payments and costs associated with selling for asset she might not now live in. And she doesn’t have any money. She might have no choice in what she does. But her case for 50% of the equity is compromised due to the existence of the unsigned deed. She could end up with even more costs if she takes legal action and no guaranteed beneficial outcome.

OP, I think you need to be willing to offer to sign the deed to give him assurance that the deposit is protected. And to also agree that you won’t make any contribution to the mortgage on the understanding you have no future claim on the equity. That gets you off the hook easily and enables him protect his growing assets. But you are costing him money in the short term. Therefore don’t quibble over who paid for cushions or sofas. Take your personal belongings only.

I think it also best to avoid any accusations in the split. If you make him defensive or accuse him of anything he might not be willing to let you walk away without cost.

I'm a lawyer and often advise on these issues.

OP - when did he ask you to sign the trust deed? Before or after you bought it?

And do you own as joint tenants or tenants in common?

If you hold as joint tenants and he only mentioned the trust deed after purchase then you should not have to sign it. You are entitled to half the net sale proceeds.

If there is a declaration of how you own it beneficially then in the absence of fraud or misrepresentation that will be conclusive.

Also if there is not enough on sale for him to claw back his deposit (if that is what he's entitled to) then he loses out. You don't have to reimburse him.

Did you take on a fixed rate mortgage with expensive early repayment fees? You need to investigate the terms you agreed.

@Collaborate thank you. The early repayment charge is £12k. He asked me to sign the deed of trust before we bought the house - I’ve signed my part, our solicitor is still waiting for him to sign his part so that it can be registered. Joint tenants.

My worry about the deed of trust was that he’d be entitled to get, say, £30k back if the house sells for what we bought it for, but that would put us in negative equity so would I be owe him that additional money from nowhere? Say the house sold for £300k, mortgage outstanding was £280k. Would he then only get £20k, or if he was due £30k then he’d be able to sue me for it for something? I just don’t really understand how it works!

So, if the deed of trust was signed the position would be that you take the amount the house sells for, minus the amount owed to the bank, and the legal fees for the sale, then he gets his equity and the legal fees from the purchase back. Anything left over positive or negative is split 50/50.

Example numbers

House value 100k
Mortgage 80k
Early redemption fee 10k
Legal fees from the sale 1k
Legal fees from the purchase 1k
Equity provided 20k

So total amount remaining after bank and third parties are paid is 9k (100k-80k-10k-1k). He is entitled to 21k (20k+1k). That leaves the transaction at -12k and you split that 50/50. He keeps the 9k from the proceeds of sale, and you owe him 6k.

He put in 21k and (if you can pay him) gets back 15k (loss of 6k) and you put in 0 and have to pay him 6k (loss of 6k).

Given the deed of trust isn't signed it gets complicated - in particular I don't know whether he is able to simply sign it and register it tomorrow and what rights you have to withdraw your signature. It's possible that you could argue that he doesn't get his deposit and legal fees back, and so the 9k proceeds should be split 50/50 (i.e. he gets 4.5k (he looses 16.5k from the breakup) and you get 4.5k (you benefit by 4.5k from the breakup) but I suspect that you will find the only one who benefits from that argument is the lawyers getting paid to argue it.

Given you have no money and he hasn't signed the deed, probably the best solution is for you to agree neither of you owe the other anything i.e. you don't have to pay him 6k.

Does he know this is coming? You could send your solicitor instructions that you are withdrawing your consent to the deed, but they would probably need to notify your partner and so it's not something that should be done until you've told him that you plan to split up. It is also likely to turn the exit hostile (as he will see it as you trying to take his money).

I had a deed of trust with my ex. I bought him out after we split. I essentially paid him 50% of the equity in the property. I bought the house out right with inheritance. If the house value had decreased I would not have paid my ex any the loss would have been mine alone to bear, this was clear in the trust. That is the legal situation.

In terms of your mortgage etc, you will be liable for that and should it default etc will directly impact your credit score. I think you would be liable for any early repayment fees etc.

So he paid all the legal fees, expenses and the deposit?

It sounds as if he also thinks he made a mistake, and isn’t happy. However, it is his behaviour towards your Dd that makes it necessary for you to move out.

In your shoes I would talk to him in such a way that you make it ok for him to admit that this isn’t working for him and let him know that it is ok if he would prefer to separate. I.e make it a mutual decision, even his decision, rather than charge in and tell him you are finishing the whole thing.

If it is part his decision he will be inclined to be more flexible about the way things shake down financially.

It would be wrong to try and get any of his deposit.

You have paid some mortgage (and more by the time you sell or legally extricate yourself) but that is the monthly cost of having a roof over your head.

There will be expenses in selling, EA fees are hefty, conveyancing, probably a penalty on the mortgage (which is why seeing a mortgage advisor is the first thing to do). You will most likely end up with a loss.

You gave it a try, you risked a lot to try and get on the ladder, it didn’t work, that must hurt, but in 5 years time the loss won’t be noticeable.

(and if you do sell rather than find a way he can take in the mortgage) don’t try and save money with Purple Bricks or the like.

You could just try to make it work, OP, by recognising that it’s a big change in life for all of you.

This is bad advice because it's simply wrong. If there is not enough to repay the partner he loses out. OP does not owe him anything.

Contact the solicitor right now and tell them that you withdraw your consent to the execution of the deed of trust.

As you hold as joint tenants the equity will get split equally. You would have a great deal of bargaining power.

You can't have a deed of trust if you're joint tenants. You must be tenants in common. Or, the deed isn't enforceable anyway, regardless of whether it is signed by both parties.

Did you both take independent legal advice on the deed? If not, it may not be valid.

My personal view is that he should get back as near to all of his deposit as is available on sale, and the two of you should split the legal costs. Any loss on the deposit is his to bear.

The preferred option is that he takes over the mortgage but he may not be able to do that.

Ah so I have it in the wrong order? 9k left over and he's entitled to 21 under the deed. So he gets the whole 9k but OP doesn't owe anything? Defer to you as I don't know how the deed is written and presumably you're more familiar with standard language.

Still think the only winners in an argument that the deed shouldn't apply is the lawyers - unless the deposit is massive if course.