Adhering to current court order whilst waiting for a hearing date to vary court order. Untenable position...

[Campari20]

I have put in a c2 application to stop overnight contact on the basis of disclosures of abuse from DD, social care involvement and a number of police investigations regarding DDs father. DD is showing signs of trauma after contact and disclosed a number of very worrying things to myself, school, authorities which essentially are physical and emotional abuse. I been advised that I have to stick to the current order until or unless the order is varied.. handovers take anywhere up to 1-2 hours where DD is so utterly distressed and refuses to go. She has locked herself in the car, ran in front of a car to get away from him, screamed, cried, hidden... we do our handover in public places and members of the public end up calling the police. It's just utterly horrific. I've explored if handovers can take place at school but school do not consent to this and will not agree if asked by the court or cafcass... I know many will ask why I'm continuing to send DD but I've been threatened twice with a transfer of residence, we have a penal notice attached to the order if I breach it..I've made it clear to DD I will never force her out of the car to go but I've told her I do need to take her and try. The last weekend I spent 3 hours on each day trying to get her to go.. her father does nothing at all to help her or reassure her. DD is now telling teachers and her peers how much she hates him and how he scares her. We have a contact weekend approaching, he's had several correspondence asking him to agree day contact or supervised contact, of course all refused and he's intent on forcing the overnight arrangements. He's not at all concerned by DDs welfare.

My question is, I've put the application in to vary the order and I'm simply waiting for a hearing date, will I really suffer contempt of court implications if I decide to stop this and not put DD through the trauma? Whilst police and SS cannot override a court order, I have it in writing that they are concerned that I'm continuing to make DD available for contact and that I should keep her with.me whilst investigations are undertaken.. in addition to this, I've not missed a contact, I'm not currently in breach of the order.

I just can't do this to her anymore, she's traumatised, when she's gone for contact its usually ended with him forcibly removing her and her going off with him restrained. She looked utterly terrified last time.. she cries with him the entire time and when she's returned she looks completely exhausted and drained.

I'm scared to go against the order but from a legal standpoint will the court have a degree of understanding as to why the order was breached and see it as a parent exercising parental responsibility to safeguard their child and that there have been no previous breaches?

There really are a bunch of misinformed keyboard warriors on this thread seemingly intent on terrifying the OP for reasons I cannot grasp.

Police need to formally interview DD first which is why he's not been contacted yet..once she's done that they'll either arrest him or ask him to cooperate of his own volition.

Then you need pressure on them to get that done. They can help you, they have the power to put bail conditions in place that will make the court order impossible to stick to.

Have you got a time for DD to be interviewed?

Not yet. I've chased every day.

Quite.

You can use Google. It is not that difficult. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/protecting-children/if-you-report-child-abuse-to-the-police/

I know about police protection. I work with children subject to PP regularly. I'm saying you are wrong and heartless to suggest that the OP would lose her children even temporarily via police protection for adhering to a court order. You have absolutely no clue what you're talking about, it's scaremongering, cruel and irresponsible. That is absolutely not what PP is used for.

Use Google. It is amazing you can learn. If the police believe there is a risk, they will intervene. If they told her not to send the child, any judge will support her. Judges don't care about parents, they only care about the children. You know more than CAB, sure. I am quoting directly from the CAB site. It's not scaremongering. It is common sense. Who will send a child to be in danger when the police have told her not to?

jesus Christ. You're so wrong and so arrogant.
firstly police cannot override a court order UNLESS they arrest the suspect and put bail conditions in place. They haven't done that ergo they cannot tell OP to ignore a court order. Secondly IF the threshold for police protection were met it would be met when the child is in the care of the FATHER not the MOTHER. They might invoke the powers to remove the child from the father (IF the threshold were met - big IF) and return the child to the mother. They would NOT invoke the powers to remove the child from the mother because she sent the child for contact. That's impossible, as if the child was with the mother then the child is safe, and if the child isn't with the mother then PP doesn't apply to the mother. Do you get that? PP is a very short term measure for Immediate harm. The legal threshold is very clear.

It's absurd to keep telling someone to google when you have no more than a very cursory and wrong understanding of the law yourself.

It’s probably best to get your lawyer to advise you on what to do. It’s sounds like a long standing case of litigation between you and your ex. There will be context and directions from the court that may mean what you do or don’t do will work against you. That is implied in your opening post which referred to previous warnings that residency might be transferred and a penal notice.

You also state that you have been advised not to stop contact, if so by whom? If it is your lawyer who is familiar with the case and latest incident / report then I suggest you don’t ignore that based on Google or SM commentary.

Is there a Child Protection Plan or Child in Need plan?

No there isn't. DD has just been given an allocated social worker..

My solicitor has only advised that the current order needs to be adhered to until a contact order variation is made.

There is no basis for the transfer of residence comments.. I've always promoted contact and taken DD to all contact.

It's great that she has an allocated social worker, but don't expect their views to be given much consideration in court. For some reason cafcass officers (who are just social workers after all, and often social workers who couldn't hack it in frontline) are treated like experts by courts and allocated social workers like amateurs. I don't understand why but there you are. Hopefully you get a good one who can pick apart any crap cafcass analysis and help you advocate for her. Any updating section 7 or section 37 will be completed by them rather than cafcass.

You said in your OP you have been threatened with transfer of residence. By whom? Did they explain why they made the threat? Was it a threat or a warning which are 2 very different things?

It was the Guardian. It was a warning I feel. She's put it as if I can't be seen to support and promote contact positively then he can apply for a transfer of residence. Do they usually award proven abusers with full residence?...

Stop contact on the advice of police and social services. He will need to bring enforcement proceedings at which stage you say that your variation application needs to be dealt with first. Make sure you have the view of SS in writing.

I'm surprised police didn't arrest him then put bail conditions on while they investigate.
My dc was exactly the same. The handover would take at least a whole hour and dc was so traumatized. And yes we have a court order too so I understand and really feel for you op. It's a hopeless situation.
In my case I was lucky (not quite, but still!) Ex assaulted me during a handover and I ended up in a&e. Ex was still able to have contact, because of the existing order. However, police did put the bail condition that he can not contact me in any form, means he needs a 3rd party to arrange the contact. Again I'm lucky, he couldn't be bothered, because if that. My case was a straight forward one, with proper visible injuries, cctv and witnesses, the investigation lasted nearly a year now. I'm waiting for them to 'write up the case and send to CPS' still. I have no idea how I could have coped if I needed to keep sending my dc and watching dc screaming and possibly harming themself. The whole you just have to because there's an order thing is ridiculous.

Sorry not much useful advice, but I want to say it's not always that simple to stop contact while a court order is in place. It might sound like Op isn't taking people's suggestion, but sometimes life sucks, you watch your child suffer or you don't then lose your child.
Op I really wish you and your dc all the best. Do raise your every concern and chase the police to see if they can do something to protect you.

It beggars belief that the system is such that if he hadn’t backed off because of needing a third party to arrange the contact, the contact for your poor child would have had to continue.

I am so sorry for you, and the OP.

OP can you feign an infectious illness that’s going to keep DD at home for the next contact weekend?

She’d need a doctor’s letter, unfortunately.

You don't think the courts have had people try faking illness before?

I would never lie about her being ill.