Sister & solicitor stonewalling me over Will

[Magmum75]

Mum died in July, leaving behind two daughters. Me, busy working mum, lives far away. Sister, single, lived at home with mum (very co-dependent relationship) feels I abandoned them both. Looked after mum when she was ill & dying and I am very grateful for that.

Sister emailed me the news and same day contacted the solicitors holding the Will, arranged appointment and instructed them to act on her behalf. She organised the funeral according to the Will (pre-paid plan) said there was no need of financial contribution from myself.

Almost a month later I had a letter from the solicitor with a copy of the Will to say I am Joint Executor - something my sister didn't tell me.

I admit I was and am furious at being excluded and send irate emails to both my sister and the solicitor. Sister has chosen to ignore me (she has always been selective about responding to me about mum). Solicitor is being uncooperative probably because I have called them out on their error of not contacting me at the outset and just trying to push me to hand over reins to them as my sister has.

I'm getting no-where with both - what should I do? I have told both I want to be involved going forward but I'm just hitting a brick wall.

There is absolutely no way I would hand over my executorship of my parents estate to a solicitor. Both my sister and I were joint executors and my sister didn't want to do it. I am good with forms so took on the task. Gathered all the information and applied for probate on line. The solicitors quoted between 1-5% of the estate value. Depending how complicated. So in our case somewhere between 7 - 35k ! Not a hope.

I would not sign any contract with the lawyer. I would tell them you do not give them consent to apply for probate and that you will do it yourself. It can all mostly be done online /via email.

If they don't immediately apologise and do as you request I would raise a complaint with the Solicitors Regulatory Authority (SRA) . They have seriously fucked up if they have applied for probate without consent. Or indeed made done any work for an estate for which they have not been given all executors consent.

The only lawyer help we needed was for a conveyancer via that estate agents. About £1300.

You and sister clearly have a poor relationship!

you are both grieving the loss of your mum and don’t seem to able to support each other through this.

take a deep breath and find out exactly what the solicitor has been employed to do. Speak to them on Monday morning and explain your concerns. If your sister wants them to handle her half of the paperwork that is her right - but the cost should come from her half of the estate.

This will be very difficult for your sister as she will lose her home. I am surprised your mum didn’t plan for that, give her her day in the house.

I hope you will be compassionate and give her time before selling the house.

Whoever registered her death may have used the Tell Us Once service but bills still need paying at some point and an executor bank account opened. Her funeral was already paid for, your sister and /or the solicitors should have a list of what's been done so far.

How can op demand she does it herself if she's a joint Executor? Whether that be with her sister or the solicitors who her sister has now asked to take over her executor duties.

I’m sorry for your loss OP.

This sounds like sharp practice from said solicitors and as others have advised I would report them. What I will caution you against is sending antagonistic emails to any party involved - this will make you appear unco-operative and irrational and bolster a case if the firm so wish to suggest you are unable to work with anyone and force your hand.

best of luck

To answer a few responses:

There is no provision in the Will for the Solicitor to act as an Executor, not even if both me and my sister pre-deceased my mother.

Yes, I have a difficult relationship with my sister, I mentioned previously a co-dependent relationship with my mother and I was many times seen as interfering if I suggested anything
.

I don't intend to chuck her out of the house, it will take a while for things to be settled, she will not have means to buy me out as has drifted through life on MW jobs. In all likelihood she will be able to buy a small flat with her share and I will help her do so (if she lets me).

OK, so I will make clear to the solicitor that I do not wish them to act for me and I can do the probate. I don't know how we might split the solicitor costs at the end of the day as they have done some work till now and will continue to do so on her behalf. I have seen their fees as hourly rates but its difficult to asertain what the total bill might be. The problem is they aren't tell me what has happened to date, providing me copies of any paperwork or even outlining the scope of the services they are providing to my sister.

As others have said, speak to the solicitors on Monday and ask them on what basis your sister has instructed them.

She may have told them that she was the sole executor but when they looked at the will they saw that you were a joint executor.

If you do not want them to do the work then simply tell them - no. (Don't forget, the word "No" is a complete sentence; you don't have to add any explanation)

I think you're getting confused OP. You don't "hand over" the executorship of the estate to the solicitor. But it is not unusual to instruct a solicitor to administer the estate on behalf of the executors, particularly if they don't have the time or knowledge to do it themselves.

It's only been two months. The only steps that have been taken so far relate to your mother's funeral and it seems her wishes were followed. So your only complaint is that nobody told you sooner that you were named as an executor. Good luck making a complaint about that!

If you would rather not have a solicitor involved in the administration, then talk to your sister. Are you willing to deal with the inheritance tax return and the application for probate, and then cash in the assets? Doing it all yourself? Do you know what to do? If not, I'd continue to liaise with the solicitor and ask them to keep both you and your sister informed.

Sorry for your loss.

personally I would be happier having a solicitor deal with it. Less opportunity for a fall out with your sibling. Tying up an estate is time consuming and emotional.

Also you are liable if you make mistakes.

I am an accountant /done tax and also done law study. I will be joint executor for my parents 50/50 will but I will be getting professional help to complete forms/transfer property.
I can do the leg work of getting details of accounts, which is time consuming (therefore costly if solicitor does it) but just as easy for me with their paperwork on hand as anyone else.

When my father in law died, my husband, my mother in law and I were the executors. If I remember correctly we all had to complete individual forms saying we were willing to act as executors.

My Mother in Law gave up her right to act as an executor ( she is 91) and had to state this on her form. However, my husband and I didn’t get a copy of her form.

We did however get a solicitor to do all the paperwork to apply for probate. We gathered the information we had re accounts but the solicitors also did a search for shares etc we may not have been aware of. It was a large estate and we felt it was worth it, especially as a pp says if any mistakes were made the solicitors would be liable and not us. The solicitor did send us a copy of the final paperwork to look at and say if we were OK with it. However, it was the Solicitor’s signature that went on the probate application.

The cost was between £2-3,000, which we thought was quite reasonable.

Has your sister just asked the solicitor to undertake the application for probate?

Having witnessed the while probate thing for the last year, I’d welcome the solicitors sorting it all out. It is a painful process taking up lots of time.

Do you really want to execute the estate? It’s much easier if a 3rd party does it if relations are strained with your sister.

I would simply ask the solicitor for a clear quote and terms of their work, and ask that you are kept informed with all decisions.

The solicitors don't seem to have done anything wrong. Asking you sign the T&C, having discovered you are an executor, is step one. That is asking for your authority for them to take on the case and do the work.
If you don't agree, then contact them to say so.
There will be an issue though, in that executors can act jointly and severally, so technically either you or sis can instruct solicitors to act on your behalf, but if your wishes differ there is going to be a conflict. Conflicts are expensive, so if you and sis can come to an agreement, that will work out better and cheaper for all concerned.
Can you deal with the probate application and all the admin yourself? If not, then it's probably best to get a solicitor to do it for you.

You and sister are named executors. No one has applied for probate yet. Either you both can apply, or one of you applies alone with the others consent.

sister cannot appoint the solicitor as executor. She can only ask them to act for the executors. I think you have misunderstood what is going on.

If the estate is divided equally between you and your sister (and any other siblings) and you have a strained relationship with your sister getting a solicitor to act for you jointly seems a good idea.

The starting point for that is that your Mum has passed and sorting out the estate is a job you need to get done. What went before and whether or not you knew you were joint execs is water under the bridge and not something to bear on what you do now.