Cost of living, what are we meant to do???

[Rubylu]

So I have a 6 month old baby, I work full time earn a decent wage for my age of 33k a year at 22.

My partner and I were looking to buy a house this time last year and my mortgage advisor told me I could lend up to 145k on my own, my partner can’t be put on the mortgage due to not long being self employed he also has some debts etc.

Fast forward to now a house has come up in our area for 165k we live near Birmingham so it’s rare for a decent house to be this price as most 3 bed semis round here are atleast 220k however the seller wants a quick sale due to family dying and multiple surveys have been done with no issues.

Because I’ve now had a baby apparently I can only lend 125k? I have a 30k deposit ready. The seller won’t take any less than 165k and apparently my mortgage advisor simply can’t get me any more.
What I struggle to understand is how!!! I take home £2250 a month. The mortgage payments would be roughly £650 a month, that would leave me with £1600 our other bills are about £600 so I would be left with a disposable income of £1000 a month. Now I get we’ve had a baby but he doesn’t cost me a grand a month!!!!! We also get child benefit for him and that covers alot of his needs I spend no more than £100 a month of my own money on him…

I have no car payments no debt etc.
The council won’t consider us because we’d be in too low of a band because of my earnings, we can’t buy even though I have a decent deposit and a decent wage…
If we wanted to rent a small house in this area that would be somewhat average it would cost about £1200 a month. We were renting a tiny flat for £800 a month and have moved back in with my parents in order to buy a house, even though I now apparently can’t.
What do they actually expect people to do😳😳😳

Any advice welcome and would also like to know if anyone else is in a similar situation

@Dearover
I wish I could tell you my area so you could do your own research, like I said this property is meant to be worth 200k+ all of the cheapest properties on right move atm are 3 beds, in awful condition so require a cash buyer, this house was the only one we are able to afford, if I could buy a 2 bed I would!!

'Our new mortgage advisor rang us back today and told us she’s been able to get an AIP no problem for that amount'

The reality is that you are heavily reliant on others and are nowhere near as self sufficient as you may think. That is why the bank aren’t keen.

If your family turned on you then you would be scuppered and hugely over exposed financially. You may think that’s an impossibility however the bank won’t be keen to take on such a risk.

@Charlie2121
Your family should never turn on you… especially your parents and if they do they’re not very good parents!

If you can’t rely on family who can you rely on?🫣

But you moved into renting from that which is literally lost money...and now you have double legal fees, moving costs etc

Everyone has different circumstances. Deceased parents, no local family etc.

For one reason or another there are many people who have to be 100% self sufficient and that is the model that the bank assesses against as anything else is reliant on others who are not party to the financial contract.

Well yeah but the bank don't deal in emotions and stuff they deal in cold hard facts. Numbers. Death. Illness. Redundancy.

I was struggling to understand why when I earn £13k more than you that I only take home a couple of hundred more a month but then I remembered I pay quite a lot into a company pension and I'm still paying off my student loans.

Are you paying in a pension scheme?

Why can’t you buy a two bedroom place and move in a few years?

Congrats on the AIP OP, good luck with your purchase.

FWIW you sound pretty awesome and have done really well to have achieved so much so young and with a baby as well. I wish I had your energy! Make sure your bf pulls his weight too though… he might very well also be awesome and hardworking trying to get his business off the ground, in which case good luck to you both. But on paper he could also be riding your coat-tails and letting you take the load. If that’s the case it would be a shame to let him hold you back. Just sayin.

Well I've never bought a 200 year old house for a start - never seen the appeal in them and I know that they're likely to be money pits! All my houses have been built in the 70s, 80s or 90s and I've had a proper survey (by a builder, not one for a mortgage) done before offering on them. I don't think I've been particularly lucky, just prudent.

I see you have an AIP which is fab but you could also consider shared ownership as well, means you'd need a smaller mortgage if you're struggling to find a property with what you can currently borrow.

How have you managed to have household bills of only 600? That’s impressive. I’m not trying to be mean, but my household bills are much more than that, and we don’t splash out. Council tax alone is 250 a month

This!!! It won’t affect your mortgage iffer and can be the extra 10k deposit.

It would have been better to have applied for the mortgage before you had children

Buy a 1 or 2 bed property instead

I wouldn’t overstretch on a house in a recession. But as you’ve got AIP, good luck.

You’re right. They shouldn’t. They should know that if you’re irresponsible enough to get pregnant you wouldn’t take away their time to suit you.

@Otherstories2002
My mom offered to have him as have my other family members.

I hope you don’t have kids for their sake if that’s your view on helping them out.

It's not even a case of whether your family will turn on you. There are all sorts of other variables which could happen- family members can get sick, disabled. Unforeseen circumstances might mean they need paid work, not unpaid full time child minding.

The OP earns a decent wage but not amazing, her partner seems financially quite vulnerable. To be honest, it's far better to be in a position to buy a decent home and to be able to afford good quality child care.

It is what it is, and it the OP can only afford a smaller house and free childcare then she needs to accept that situation. There's always time in the future to go for a bigger and better house

yes I have kids. And I hope that I raise to know the difference between helping out and taking advantage of.

Family doing full-time childcare often falls through so they will assume you'll have some childcare costs. If you have a baby at 22 before you're financially secure, and with a partner who has historically been bad at managing money, this is what is going to happen.

To the OP well done, you're very inspiring! If it was me in this position, I would factor into the reality that life happens, promises to help with childcare can fall through etc.

I would go for a smaller 2 bedroom home, as it's only with the intention to house both you and your baby right now. So if there is somewhere that's a 2 bedroom, ideally that you could afford in time- wait it out. Once you're in your 2 bedroom home, then you can save up some more and hopefully then get your 3 bedroom.

Your partner should pay you the child support difference, so the mortgage lenders can see that the shortfall is being made up somehow. In the meantime your partner should be looking at a way, to sort out his debts, as from as business point of view, his finances are a hindrance. If his on your mortgage form, he is classed as a risk factor.

I agree with you that it makes no sense that mortgage is cheaper than rent, but you have to jump through hoops to get one.