Relocation proceedings

[Lostforwords9]

I want to move to Dubai with my child. Ex and I have 60/40 though I have a lives with order. Has anyone done this and was it successful? I actually want to propose that he moves with us. His employer has an office in Dubai and for me work is not an issue at all.

But he’s insane and we had a dirty nasty divorce, abuse and the current setup isn’t working eg he doesn’t do homework with her and won’t let her do any extra curriculars consistently.

Just to give you an idea, a relative had to spend months in court to get permission to move about 80 miles away. The non-resident parent’s contact time was being cut by about 10 hours a week, and they would still see their kids at least once a week.

I’m ok with years in court - been there, done that.

I can’t be beholden to him just because he’s lazy and can’t think of a better life for his child.

Also as The UAE is not a signotory of the Hauge Convention, you may have to work even harder and offer a lot more than that.

Not many Judges would be happy to send a UK national to a country where the father couldn't excersise the rights of the child under UK law.

What is he like as a father?

He’s a Disney dad. That’s all I can say. Doesn’t read with her, do homework, unlimited TV. I have to buy all her clothes bc he’s stingy and had to give him her old toddler bed because he won’t buy his own though claims to make 250k a year. He abused me in front of her, sent me such gruesome texts he spent 2 nights in jail, called me a cunt in front of her, still harasses me with text messages and tries to mess with me. That’s what kind of dad he is.

As if the mother can exercise rights here. This country applauds abusive men and grants them parental rights. Also drug users, which he is.

I’m good to give up her UK passport, she has many others, if that’s what it takes. None of us are originally “from here”. Just got stuck.

Has he actually checked he can move to Dubai? Just because his employer has an office there doesn't mean he can walk into the same role there.

You need to make a backup plan in case he says no (tbh I wouldn't want to move to Dubai the heat would just about finish me off in the summer but if he says no he is well within his rights to do that)

I'm not arguing how fucked up our system is here.
I know stories worse than yours.
But legal advice is based on facts.
You want to go, you can.
You want your daughter to go. She can't

I don't think you'd actually get years in court.
Unless you get him to negotiate this will be wrapped up quickly. And you can't keep appealing. They can and will stop it.

Courts are backed up. My child custody took 2 years. Can I ask, are you a family lawyer by any chance? Wondering if you have any reccos for one.

I'm not a lawyer.
Recommendations would depend on where you are.

Also yes it could take time between hearings, processing and other agencies.
But you want be able to keep dragging this out after the final hearing.

And if you already have a CAO that may also be difficult as a court have looked at previous evidence and found him fit to parent.

I think you will find racism is more rife in Dubai than you think. Maybe not directed against you but certainly it os a society based on hierarchy including male/female and exploitation of migrant workers. Expats have no say in the rulers' decision making and you live within strict rules. The positive aspects you cite are only available to some, if you are wealthy or employed. Everything comes at a price, which is fine if you can afford it or are offered it part of an employment or sponsorship package - healthcare, education, lifestyle etc

I'm so sorry to hear.

I went through what you went through.

My ex was abusive towards me at first and then turned out to be a re-offending pedophile and registered sex offender. Even in this case he was allowed to exercise his parental responsibility (including his rights to stop me from doing x y and z) and got supervised contact. I was blessed enough that he allowed me to move abroad, otherwise it'd have been hard I'm court, but I had to give him all the arguments as to how it would benefit HIM. He didn't care about the kids or anyone else.

If your ex is stingy, perhaps him not paying child benefits would be enough to convince him.

I have several friends and relatives who live in the ME.
It's not all it's cracked up to be but if you have a good employer with a good package then you definitely will be able to have a decent life. Otherwise I'd look really hard into the actual.costs, as paying your own rent /school fees etc really adds up even if salary is higher.
His employer may not want or allow him to work from UAE, that's not always straightforward or easy visa wise. Depends on his line of work.
Flights again quickly add up especially if he's calling the shots on the flight times and you can't choose the cheapest options.
I guess just do the maths really carefully.

Will she be returning to the UK for the 80% of holidays? Or do you think he can take that many weeks off work with no issue to come to Dubai?

I think maybe you need to reread up about the archaic laws in the UAE. The Dubai government in particular is extremely racist!

My DH ex tried this.. we had kids EOW
without fail and all holidays to enable ex to go see her bf (now DH working in Dubai) ... we opposed it and self defended.. the judge said 'not in the interests of the children' only in interests of the mother .. they couldn't go.

She remains hostile to this day (the kids are in their 20s and he now works in Uk .. ) still away from home as can't live with another man's kids .. thank god they weren't stuck in UAE ...

A friend of mine won the right to take her child and move back to her country of birth. However, it happened to also be his country of birth although he was full settled at this point.

She got that right but had to take the child, who was 3 at the time and was seeing their dad eow back to that country 4 times a year.

She was of course delighted to have got what she wanted but 3 years on and it's a nightmare. The child bond with their dad didn't continue to grow because of the little time they spent together. Mum was anxious leaving them with their dad on their own despite being around. She didn't want to go home during these visits so stayed in hotels, bored, anxious, struggling to work.

It got worse over time. Child crying they didn't want to travel and was scared of the night away from mum. Mum demanded that dad only saw them in the days. Dad refused saying it only made things worse and that the child had to get used to spending nights with him. She started to find excuses for cancelling the visits, booked private health appointments during those weeks etc...

Dad went back to courts and the courts were clear that she HAD to adhere to the order. In the end, mum very reluctantly moved back because the whole stress of these visits was too much and engrossed in her to day life.

The child is 8 now and settled well. Sees dad 50/50 now and is much happier. Mum is very a angry with dad and blames him for having to return and the financial impact but is in a new relationship and in love, so that helps.

Yes, child stays with the mother always. @Lostforwords9 if you believe this you have very naive.

Why on earth do you think Princess Haia escaped in secret and came to the U.K. before filing for divorce and child custody.
Dubai is ruled by a man who does not even respect the autonomy of his own daughters to make their own decisions.

If you think that Dubai is better than the UK then I have a bridge that I'd like to sell you.

I hope your child isn't female

Also, have you considered your child's wishes in this, or is it a unilateral decision to uproot it, take it away from friends, school and all that is familiar to them?

I would like to do the exact same thing. I also have a lives with order and he has not complied with cafcass recommendations so has not seen my twin boys for two years. He has nothing to do with them however I still have this child arrangements order in place.

We also had a terrible divorce so it would be out of spite that he wouldn’t sign an NOC regardless if moving to Dubai is for the best interest of the children.