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Original poster

Legalities of ex claiming CB

28 replies

pinotmore · 12/02/2024 19:13

As a number of pay rises over the last year have meant I am going to lose at least some of my CB, I asked on AIBU a while ago whether I could let my ex, who pays absolutely no CM, claim it. I am due to pay him £10k in a few years when my youngest turns 21 and I would be looking to offer him the CB and to deduct whatever he gets from the £10k. The thread didn't get that many replies but most respondents seemed to think my proposition would be dodgy legally, and could even get me in trouble.

I've been thinking about this again and looked through the thread again. I think some people may have thought that I think legally if I let him claim the CB I would no longer owe him. Actually, I know this wouldn't be the case and would actually be discussing it with him and asking him to agree to not seek the full £10k if I let him have the CB. Ideally he would sign something legal, but I appreciate this might not be possible. I've looked at who can claim CB and I don't see that him claiming it would be illegal - he does have the dc about 6-8 times per month so there are costs (albeit minimal in his case) associated with that. He owns a house outright thanks to a recent inheritance so wouldn't end up being entitled to and gaining a council house as a result of it, as someone suggested.

I honestly don't think he would start a CM claim against me either - he's lazy and useless but not a total cunt. And if he agreed but then wanted the full £10k anyway, I'd still be no worse off than I am now.

So what I really want to know is are there any legal reasons why I shouldn't do this? I accept it's not guaranteed to get me the outcome I want, but that's not what I'm asking. I want to know, if possible, whether it could get me in any trouble? I'd be very grateful for any legal insight anyone has. I've linked to the original thread below.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4849238-to-give-waster-ex-the-cb

To give waster ex the CB? | Mumsnet

I have been promoted this year and have been on just under £59000 since February. Apparently I will be getting a pay rise in the autumn too... I also...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4849238-to-give-waster-ex-the-cb

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 12/02/2024 19:21

If he pays the equivalent amount of the CB towards looking after them e.g. when he has them during the month then he should be entitled to claim the CB.

dementedpixie · 12/02/2024 19:24

You’ll usually be responsible for a child if either:

  • you live with them
  • you’re paying at least the same amount as Child Benefit (or the equivalent in kind) towards looking after them - for example on food, clothes or pocket money
Original poster
pinotmore · 12/02/2024 19:32

Thanks @dementedpixie . That's the link I had seen - it definitely seems it's not an illegal thing to do depending on how much he actually spends on them and presumably 'indirect' costs, such as heating and buying/furnishing a home big enough for them counts as well? Someone suggested that I would get in trouble for this if I worked in financial services, which I don't, but I still don't want to do anything dodgy!

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 12/02/2024 19:36

Why would it be you getting in trouble? It's not you making the claim

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 12/02/2024 19:40

It may have changed recently, but I switched my DDs claim to her dad and as I no longer could claim it. I rang for advice and as we were 50/50 they said it was fine, but only as it was shared care (or she lived with him).
he just puts it in a bank account for her, like I used to, so DD is no worse off.

I think your issue may be that getting him to sign something legally to say you owe him less. You don't. You still owe him £10k. Child benefit can't decrease that debt and there is no way you could get that agreed to and it be enforceable.

TiptopTommy · 12/02/2024 19:41

But if he is entitled to claim it, he gets it from the public purse. It’s not your money that you are giving him, so why would it be taken off of what you owe him?

Original poster
pinotmore · 12/02/2024 19:50

@TiptopTommy I realise that but my thinking is that the stupid fucking system that says I can't have it anymore but if I earned £49k and had a partner who also earned that we'd be fine to keep it deserves to be played if at all possible! If I had the money it would be saved or spent to the benefit of my dc. This way, I will be better able to support them while at uni as I will not have the full £10k playing on my mind that I'm supposed to pay him when ds2 finishes uni. So the dc benefit. I owe him legally and he owes me as well according to CMS yet if I don't pay him he can force the sale of my house, while him owing me has no impact whatsoever! So I won't feel guilty about 'the public purse' as it doesn't give a shit about me or my dc.

OP posts:
clpsmum · 12/02/2024 19:54

TiptopTommy · 12/02/2024 19:41

But if he is entitled to claim it, he gets it from the public purse. It’s not your money that you are giving him, so why would it be taken off of what you owe him?

This

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 12/02/2024 19:58

Do you trust him not to try and claim CM from you?

CMS can be shockingly bad and very often will use CB as a blunt tool as ‘proof’ of one person being the RP and calculate maintenance accordingly.

CMS are very very likely, at the very least, to stop his liability from the date he claims it.

caringcarer · 12/02/2024 20:05

I thought it was only available to the parent to has DC most often if not 50/50 care. If he only had his DC 6-8 times a month I'm not sure he'd be entitled to claim it but you could.

caringcarer · 12/02/2024 20:06

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 12/02/2024 19:40

It may have changed recently, but I switched my DDs claim to her dad and as I no longer could claim it. I rang for advice and as we were 50/50 they said it was fine, but only as it was shared care (or she lived with him).
he just puts it in a bank account for her, like I used to, so DD is no worse off.

I think your issue may be that getting him to sign something legally to say you owe him less. You don't. You still owe him £10k. Child benefit can't decrease that debt and there is no way you could get that agreed to and it be enforceable.

Yes exactly, only if shared 50/50 care or DC lives with him.

burnoutbabe · 12/02/2024 20:11

Not sure of the legals but what's in it for him?

Why would he agree a straight reduction of the loan. No upside to him.

Now him claiming £100 and that reducing what he gets repaid by you by say £50 would be an incentive to claim it. You are both the better off rather than just you.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 12/02/2024 20:11

caringcarer · 12/02/2024 20:05

I thought it was only available to the parent to has DC most often if not 50/50 care. If he only had his DC 6-8 times a month I'm not sure he'd be entitled to claim it but you could.

Your child doesn’t have to live with you for you to claim Child benefit. As long as you pay at least the CB amount toward their upkeep and no one else claims you can usually claim

wutheringkites · 12/02/2024 20:13

But why would he take this off the amount you owe him if he is legally entitled to claim it? It makes no sense.

Morph22010 · 12/02/2024 20:14

If you are not far over the limit why don’t you put more into a pension then you can keep the child benefit

MiltonNorthern · 12/02/2024 20:16

I handed the CB to my ex when my earnings went over the threshold even though DC lives with me. Perfectly legal. I just don't agree that you should get a deduction from your debt to him from child benefit! I advised my ex he could claim it because he is on a low income and it helps him pay for stuff for/with DS. I wouldn't have done it for any other reason. If he claims it you should expect him to spend it on DC, not offset it against the money you owe him.

MiltonNorthern · 12/02/2024 20:17

caringcarer · 12/02/2024 20:05

I thought it was only available to the parent to has DC most often if not 50/50 care. If he only had his DC 6-8 times a month I'm not sure he'd be entitled to claim it but you could.

It doesn't have to be majority or even 50/50 care. Just 'shared care'.

Original poster
pinotmore · 12/02/2024 20:23

@MiltonNorthern That's fine but my issue is he pays NOTHING to support the dc - he is low income but largely by choice and he refuses to spend any money on them. For that reason I see having to pay him £10k as grossly unfair. He had £15k when we divorced and pissed that up the wall within months. He inherited £200k a couple of years ago and spent the whole lot on a property - not a penny was spent on the dc. I don't think it's right.

OP posts:
wutheringkites · 12/02/2024 20:41

No one here is saying that it's right for him not to pay maintenance. I also agree with you that CB is unfair on lone parents.

But I just don't agree that CB money, which you are not eligible for, should be used to pay down your debt to him.

Hellohah · 12/02/2024 20:45

pinotmore · 12/02/2024 20:23

@MiltonNorthern That's fine but my issue is he pays NOTHING to support the dc - he is low income but largely by choice and he refuses to spend any money on them. For that reason I see having to pay him £10k as grossly unfair. He had £15k when we divorced and pissed that up the wall within months. He inherited £200k a couple of years ago and spent the whole lot on a property - not a penny was spent on the dc. I don't think it's right.

Go through the CMS, get a calculation.

Then the amount he doesn't pay, take off the £10k?

Original poster
pinotmore · 12/02/2024 20:50

I've gone through CMS. He has a few thousand arrears but his liability has gone to £0 in recent years due to his low income. They took him to court once and I received a payment of £16! After that, nothing again. He gets cash from his mother and, as I've said, has no housing costs. I can't deduct what he owes from the £10k legally, which is why I thought of this as he would get something and might therefore agree to it.

OP posts:
GimmeGin · 12/02/2024 22:38

Morph22010 · 12/02/2024 20:14

If you are not far over the limit why don’t you put more into a pension then you can keep the child benefit

This ^

Mumof3confused · 13/02/2024 00:07

Put it into a pensions to keep your income under the threshold

ThePure · 13/02/2024 00:24

He would have to be particularly dumb to go for this ( perhaps he is). He can claim it anyway once you stop and he can still get the 10k from you. Or he can not be arsed with claiming and still get 10k from you. Why would he agree to reduce his payment to you when he can have his cake and eat it?

Gingerkittykat · 13/02/2024 01:53

pinotmore · 12/02/2024 20:50

I've gone through CMS. He has a few thousand arrears but his liability has gone to £0 in recent years due to his low income. They took him to court once and I received a payment of £16! After that, nothing again. He gets cash from his mother and, as I've said, has no housing costs. I can't deduct what he owes from the £10k legally, which is why I thought of this as he would get something and might therefore agree to it.

The CMS can put a charge on his house for the arrears.

I don't understand why his liability is 0, even NRPs on benefits are meant to pay a few quid a week.