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Legal matters

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Partner wants to pay. How should I protect myself

26 replies

Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 17:55

My partner want to do work in my house. I have told him it's not a priority for me and I am not getting it done. He has offered to pay for it. I will not be able to pay him back should we split and have made that clear.

He would like to do a bit of a garden makeover and perhaps a media wall built out to put a fire place in.

I would like an air tight legal document to ensure that he cannot claim it from me. What type of solicitor would that be?

OP posts:
Phonedown · 03/02/2024 18:03

Say no to the work. If it is work that will increase the value of your property then it's unethical to allow him to invest with no return.

NalaNala · 03/02/2024 18:15

Wouldn’t it be easier to save and and have the work done when you can afford to?

MinervatheGreat · 03/02/2024 18:18

Ring a solicitor Monday morning.
Ask whoever answers the phone to advise who in the practice is best to help you.

coodawoodashooda · 03/02/2024 18:19

Phonedown · 03/02/2024 18:03

Say no to the work. If it is work that will increase the value of your property then it's unethical to allow him to invest with no return.

This. Or he gifts it to you for your birthday

ComtesseDeSpair · 03/02/2024 18:36

Phonedown · 03/02/2024 18:03

Say no to the work. If it is work that will increase the value of your property then it's unethical to allow him to invest with no return.

This. If you don’t want either of those things and don’t ever want to pay him back for them one way or another then just say that you don’t want them. Neither the cost nor the increase in value to your house resulting from a bit of gardening and some interior work for a fireplace is significant enough for it to be worth the price of legal advice and contracts.

TeachesOfPeaches · 03/02/2024 18:44

He can make a claim on your property if he does or pays for work which increases the value of your home

Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 19:05

But he tore up part of the garden without asking first because the decking had become a bit bouncy. So really he should be fixing that as he didn't ask me.

OP posts:
Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 19:07

@TeachesOfPeaches That is what I'm trying to preempt.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 03/02/2024 19:20

Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 19:05

But he tore up part of the garden without asking first because the decking had become a bit bouncy. So really he should be fixing that as he didn't ask me.

Jeez, stop right there. He tore that up without asking? Shocking, were't you furious?

don't get faffing with solicitors. Your house, your rules, the end.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 03/02/2024 19:22

Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 19:05

But he tore up part of the garden without asking first because the decking had become a bit bouncy. So really he should be fixing that as he didn't ask me.

Get him to just put it right. No big job, no improvement. Just put it right and say it in a text message. Just say you’re still unhappy that he tore up the garden without even asking and you want it returned to how it was and then say please don’t do anymore work on my house.

crumblingschools · 03/02/2024 19:23

Does he normally get his own way?

kiwiane · 03/02/2024 19:23

He needs to understand it’s your house and if you don’t want something then that’s the end of it. I’d be really annoyed if he’s already started making changes off his own back.

App13 · 03/02/2024 19:25

I think if you ever split, he will get entitled to your house in some portion. As he contributed to the capital value of it. Hence id never allow it

HeddaGarbled · 03/02/2024 19:28

Is he a visitor or is it his home?

Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 19:45

MinervatheGreat · 03/02/2024 18:18

Ring a solicitor Monday morning.
Ask whoever answers the phone to advise who in the practice is best to help you.

What area of law?

OP posts:
Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 19:46

@EmmaEmerald Yes I was. I think he is doing this on purpose tbh

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 03/02/2024 20:02

Ettatoo · 03/02/2024 19:46

@EmmaEmerald Yes I was. I think he is doing this on purpose tbh

That's a sackable offence in my view but I'm continually horrified at what women put up with on here.

Hooplahooping · 03/02/2024 21:17

The fact that you are worrying about this should probably be setting off very loud alarm bells.

is he already living with you? Do you have plans for your relationship to move in that direction?

AutumnFroglets · 03/02/2024 21:48

Red flags OP.

He's trying to railroad you into doing work he wants (not you or shared dream) and to make sure you roll over easily he demolished part of your property without consent? < shivers >

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/02/2024 22:07

Is this legal or AIBU?

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/02/2024 22:09

AutumnFroglets · 03/02/2024 21:48

Red flags OP.

He's trying to railroad you into doing work he wants (not you or shared dream) and to make sure you roll over easily he demolished part of your property without consent? < shivers >

Bouncy decking equals unsafe decking. Do you want OP to fall through an unsafe area?

AutumnFroglets · 04/02/2024 22:18

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/02/2024 22:09

Bouncy decking equals unsafe decking. Do you want OP to fall through an unsafe area?

It's not my decision. Or yours. Or his. Only OP can decide/consent to having her property destroyed.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/02/2024 22:32

Absolutely true. But why wouldn't one want to remove a potentially dangerous structure.

AutumnFroglets · 05/02/2024 00:41

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/02/2024 22:32

Absolutely true. But why wouldn't one want to remove a potentially dangerous structure.

She said it was a bit bouncy, not potentially dangerous. Neither of us knows if a couple of screws would have sorted the problem or not. However it still wasnt up to him to decide what happened without prior discussion and her consent.

I won't be responding back to you again since you obviously don't understand that if you don't own something you don't get to decide whether it stays, goes, gets mended, sold or used as a funeral pyre. It's not yours (or his).

Whatonearth07957 · 07/02/2024 20:27

Get a cohabitation agreement. The works set out as a gift.. no equity specifically written down. He will only get equity if you specifically agree then get him to sign it!