Bereavement (sort of contesting a will)

[Notnowjo]

My Mother had been with her partner for 17 years until he died (recently). They mostly lived in her house, She tells me he contributed something towards bills but she paid for all her house maintenance etc. She also tells me that they had discussed marriage but never got round to it (though he referred to her as his wife) and that he had told her he was changing his will to leave her his house. The day he died his brother drove 400 miles, removed all the personal papers he could find belonging to his brother but none of his effects or his car. He bullied my Mother into paying for the death certificate to be changed and had her provide him with 7 copies, since then she has heard nothing from the brother. (He didn’t return her Merry Christmas or Happy New Year call).

I suppose I’m asking whether it is worth contesting the will based on the fact that he intended to change it or whether there is anything else she could do?

(may be worth mentioning brother knew of his intention to change will and works as a barrister!)

Thanks

Intention is irrelevant. The valid will is the most recent one.

They weren’t married and he didn’t leave her anything.

And tbh if they were together for 17 years and he didn’t leave her anything during that time then he clearly never intended to. I’m sorry.

I wouldn’t have thought there would be any point contesting the Will, to be honest. You’d have to have very good written evidence of his intentions and even that probably wouldn’t stand up.

What do you mean by ‘bullied her into paying for the death certificate to be changed’?

WolfFoxHare sorry don’t know how to reply directly, she put ‘her’ address on it (where they were living) his brother wanted it changing to the address of the house her partner owned. (Too many his’) told her to change it, drove back after he’d taken the papers saying he would pay for it to be done and like I say no contact.
In case it’s not clear my Mum is pretty elderly and tends to do what people ‘tell’ her to. She tells me she didn’t want to change it but he insisted.

He sounds like a bully and she sounds like she needs your support and protection. It’s lucky she owns her own home! Unfortunately I think it very unlikely she’ll be successful challenging the Will though, unless possibly she could make a case that he supported her financially… I’m not sure if this is possible but I have heard of grown children and other dependents challenging Wills that disinherit them if they’ve been financially supported by the deceased, even if they’re adults.

Yes Wolf thanks sounds like that to me too but I have never met him (I live overseas) just making a flying visit to see her after everything and trying to sort a few things out. Thanks

I’m curious to know why your DM registered the death and not the brother. Also, if the deceased was registered for Council tax at his own house then that address should be used for registering the death. Its very common to get several copies of the death certificate when registering it, in fact the registrar will suggest getting several copies.
If the deceased did not make a will leaving his house to your DM, thats on him. It’s not like your DM needs another hose is it?

Was your Mum financially dependent on him?

What's your mum's plans for his house? Does she have a will that she would have left her house to him in?

So your mum has her own house is also very elderly and you live out of the country.

Who would be supporting her through contesting the will?

And what outcome does she/you want from it?

if she was being financially supported by her partner at the time of his death or sharing finances she might have a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Dependants) Act 1975, if so she should take legal advice.

Cohabitants who were living together for 2 years prior to death also have a claim.

Did she ever make financial contributions to her partners house, or did he ever promise her a share that she relied on to her detriment? These are other ways in which she might have a claim to the property.

As they were not married I’m not surprised that his brother wanted all of his papers, especially as the will did not include your mother, and presumably he was the executor of the will.

You say she registered the death (on the same day he died!!!) so if a correction needed to be made, then it is much easier for the person who registered the death to correct the mistake. It probably would have been best if she had waited to register the death to talk to his brother, knowing that he was legally qualified (and that she was not a part of his will either as executor or beneficiary) that would have saved her the £75 fee she paid to correct the mistake.

I don’t know why the brother was insistent on having the address changed, maybe some other people here might have a clue as to that one? In any event, he is the executor and has a reason for this request (bullied is a strong word, but possibly he was irritated that the death had been registered before he had been consulted?)

It doesn’t sound like she has a good relationship with the brother which is a shame as they have both suffered a loss of a loved one.

Soon to be she registered because they have been living together for the last 17 years, he died where she lives, his brother lives elsewhere and didn’t stick around long enough to do anything. I’m aware of the benefit of getting several copies of documents just frankly don’t see why she should pay for something that is of no benefit to her! The guy sounds like a complete bully to me and I am frustrated at how vulnerable she is!

RandomMess not sure

MyGoose she doesn’t own the house she lives in.

Working good points, maybe one of my siblings? TBH I’m not sure my Mother is elderly and financially not well off, putting aside the fact that we’d all love a million quid she doesn’t really want the house but even 1/50th of it’s value would make a massive difference to her. (We’re sitting here discussing turning the heat down and whether to get rid of the TV to save money!)

To be fair she would never want to contest the will, I am sad at how she absolutely has nothing (she doesn’t want reimbursing for all the death certificates but equally she doesn’t have the money to pay for them, she doesn’t have the ability really to get rid of his car nor can she afford to send all his stuff back).

I partly thought it’s always worthwhile to remind people how meaningless ‘common law’ is.

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts/comments. They are appreciated.

@AllEars112232 no I said the brother drove down the same day, she registered the death some time after he didn’t stick around to do it or help or advise.
would you like me to ask her how many days after, is that important? Is there some etiquette around the time you should do it? I thought most people did it when they could get an appointment?

Yes it made her feel sad when he didn’t return her calls over the festive season, I think she thought they had quite a different relationship.

The way you wrote it was brother drove down on day he died, and told her to change the address on death certificate. I took from that that the death had already been registered.
No etiquette as far as I know, my point was he is the executor (presumably) and she would have been wise to have discussed registering the death with him before going ahead.
But as he is the executor and she has incurred expenses relating to the death, she can submit the invoice to him for payment from the estate.

As Familylawsolicitor says she may have a claim on the estate for financial provision under the 1975 Act if the deceased was supporting her at his death but not provided for her in his will. She needs specialised legal advice - and swiftly. Courts decide claims on case by case basis. If they were living together for years making a claim would definitely be worth exploring.

Oh I see its her house. Is she prejudiced by him not providing for her in his will?

If she doesn't own the house she lives in, should she have been paying for maintenance of it? I thought that would be owners responsibility?

I’m trying to keep it short, I’m referring to things like fixing damage, painting a room (with permission), new appliances, garden chairs all that sort of stuff.

@Familylawso1icitor @TheaBrandt thanks I will think about your points (and Google!)

TBH OP this isn’t worth pursuing.

Contesting a will is an expensive business, we’re talking 4/5 figures without any guarantee of a return.

You’re upset about your mum being out of pocket to the tune of £75 for registering the death, so how do you think that will feel when it’s £20k with no result.

People talk about contesting a will as if it’s that simple based on what they see on tv.

But it isn’t. it’s expensive and takes years.

Rather than persuading your mum to contest the will, I would spend the energy helping her to come to terms with the fact that a man she’d been with for seventeen years never cared enough to even mention her in his will.

This isn’t a short term relationship we’re talking about here, this is a long term relationship, with someone who was shrewd enough to own property and to have had a will in the first place If he’d wanted to leave her anything he would have, but he deliberately didn’t.

And while I wouldn’t necessarily say this to her I’d be thinking that he wasn’t the caring partner he claimed to be and that this relationship perhaps wasn’t all your mum thought it was.

mentioning changing the will to put someone in it seems like manipulative behaviour to me.

Sadly your mum is not th first one to find themselves not entitled to anything after a long term partner's death. I have quite a few examples in my family/friends. It's really shocking at the time but that's how it is.

Whether the reason is lack of wanting to face their death, procrastination or a genuine wish that everything should go to someone else, it makes no difference. What is hard is wondering about the last possibility and reassessing the relationship yet never being able to get answers.

Kindly, you are looking at the chances of winning contesting the will before you have even thought about whether someone would be able to help her.

You say she doesn’t have the ability to get rid of his car. She really isn’t going to be up to contesting a will.

though can she even get rid of the car? Is it in his name?

TBH I don’t understand why he was living with her if he had a million pound property and was only contributing some money towards bills. I think there’s a possibility that your mums partner wasn’t that good to her when she was alive and led her on about his house.

If he wanted her to have it he would have done his will. I assume he was elderly too? He would have sold his house and had the money in joint names. Or bought a house for both of them In joint names. There’s always the possibility he told he brother some not so kind things about your mum, which is why the brother has now contact. You see it all the time. Peoples partners families have a view of them, usually caused by the partner. There is going to be a lot that you or your mother don’t know. Do you know why they never married if he wanted her to have his assets?

There was lots he could have done to ensure she got at least part of his assets. But he chose not to.

On the Plus side if he only paid some towards bills will her bills be cheaper? Food, council tax (if she pays it) etc. I assume she got the winter fuel allowance? Does she claim any benefits? If not is she now entitled to some like pension credit?

@Notnowjo you mentioned you mum doesn't really have the ability to get rid of her late partner's car.

Thinking about this, unless he had left her this item in the will, or it is in her name then please don't let her even try to get rid of it, that could cause further problems with the brother.

Only the executor of the will can dispose of the deceased's belongings.

If it is on her property then she should ask the executor to have it collected.

Thanks I’m not upset I am trying to paint a picture of behaviour to expalin what’s been going on. As a barrister he should have known to register the death himself and should have got on and done it or explained what needed to be done.

I gather the mentioning was recently after some health issues which went on to be unexpectedly terminal rather than a pattern of behaviour.

Thanks everyone I’m not sure there is anything to be gained by going over things any more, we certainly didn’t have any real intention of contesting the will (and won’t be) but I was interested to hear most thoughts and thought it’s always worth reminding (younger) women just how vulnerable they are.

Thanks also to those who sensitively mentioned the additional trauma this is for her.

re the car it’s registered to him, she is capable of getting it towed by wreckers or we can do it for her, it’s clearly distressing for her to have it left here and since the brother hasn’t returned her call it’s just yet more stress and hassle for her. I don’t doubt he will come up with something when it suits him if there’s money in it for him (and equally I’m sure he won’t hold back in telling her how to do it so he can get maximum benefit)

Have a great new year!