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Original poster

Prohibited Steps Order, advice needed

44 replies

TrentCrimmsHair · 03/12/2023 08:30

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a tough spot right now and could really use some advice. Apologies in advance for the long post!

I'm a mum to two wonderful kids, aged 8 and 10. My ex and I separated about a year ago, and since then, we've been sharing custody with a court-approved arrangement. Recently, I've been offered a fantastic job opportunity in another city, and I'm seriously considering moving there with the children for a fresh start.

Here's where it gets tricky. My ex has just taken out a Prohibited Steps Order, preventing me from making any changes to the kids' living arrangements without his consent. I was completely blindsided by this, and I'm not sure how to proceed.

I feel torn because I genuinely believe this move would be in the best interest of our family. The new job offers financial stability and better opportunities for the kids, including a great school. However, my ex is adamantly against it and is using the court order to block my plans.

I'd love to hear from anyone who has been through a similar situation or has any knowledge about Prohibited Steps Orders. What are my options here? Is there any way to challenge or appeal the order? How can I demonstrate that this move is in the children's best interest? Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated!

OP posts:

Potentialmadcatlady · 03/12/2023 13:58

There’s a lot of ‘I want’ going on and not a lot of what’s best for the children…

Whattodo112222 · 03/12/2023 14:04

TrentCrimmsHair · 03/12/2023 11:37

Absolutely under no circumstances will I leave my children with my ex partner, if he doesn't like it then like I previously said, he can also relocate.

My children have a good relationship with him, however I really want this job and a fresh start.

What would happen if I ignored the PSO?

You'll be in contempt of court and punished.

He will take you back to court and can ask for stronger terms where a penal notice is attached to the court order.

Breach again and You'll know about it.

If he's not abusive, why are you so keen to block his access?

If you want to move the you should consider a transfer of residence.

Your children are not objects.

Whattodo112222 · 03/12/2023 14:07

Not once have you considered the impact on your children to be moved away from everything they know.

Shared care means he obviously is very hands on and a significant presence in their lives.

Your older child is also on the cusp of their wishes and feelings being taken into account too. God help you if he was to tell the Court he wants to live with his dad instead or move.

You are breathtakingly selfish OP.

AllAroundMyCat · 03/12/2023 14:11

It isn't all about what you want.

A father and his children are also involved or hadn't you thought about that?

Sirzy · 03/12/2023 14:18

It sounds like he has took the right steps in order to protect his relationship with his children. Your expectations of him just to drop everything and move too shows how little thought you have given to the impact on anyone but you.

oneproudmumma · 03/12/2023 14:26

The PSO blindsided you?? Why?

Your ex obviously has tried to talk to you to express his unhappiness at your proposal to move his children 300 miles away, and you weren't interested in his views, hence he had no choice to apply to the Court for the PSO.

Court is a very expensive option that people use as a last resort and, from your attitude on this thread, I'm not surprised he felt the need to go down this route.

millymollymoomoo · 04/12/2023 07:22

Well tbh sounds like he 100% did the right thing

so so selfish of you !

he doesn’t have to follow you around whenever you fancy moving! 300 miles is far! It will fundamentally change the dynamic of their relationship. Incredibly selfish and ALL about you

Hopefully he is successful in stopping you taking them and if you ignore the pso , as the lawyers on here state, you will be in contempt and the children will be returned to him

WorriedMutha · 04/12/2023 07:38

What went through your head when you applied for a job 300 miles away?

ZombieBoob · 04/12/2023 07:46

OK so don't completely give up yet. My closest friend just had her pso lifted and she's now allowed to move 3 and a half hours away from her dds dad. Was 50/50 care. All you have to do is prove how much better of the child will be. Not you. For example if they need a specialist school or extra support that they can only get there. If they already have friends there. They don't care if its just for a job for you. You also have to be the one to figure out how and when dad can see his kids you'll also be the one to pay for it

MissBattleaxe · 04/12/2023 07:48

I disagree with ZombieBoob. Give up now. Also, how are you going to manage childcare of you're working F/T with two kids? Not fair to disrupt them at all. There are jobs closer to home, you're just seeing pound signs.

ZombieBoob · 04/12/2023 08:51

I mean it's going to be a lengthy court order to get rid of it. Just saying it is possible

Collaborate · 04/12/2023 09:08

So on the one hand the children would move 300 miles away with you, live with one parent and struggle to see the other parent outside of school holidays, and have to cope with a new school and losing all their friends and social circle, and on the other hand they would stay where they are, living with their father and struggling to see you outside of school holidays, but will attend the same school and not lose their friends?

You have an uphill struggle because your plan is the one that involves maximum disruption for the children.

MissBattleaxe · 04/12/2023 18:57

I was ten when my parents split up. It was awful. If my Mum had taken us 300 miles away a year later I would never have forgiven her.

MissBattleaxe · 04/12/2023 18:58

Zombie boob, possible or not isn't the point. There are 3 other people to consider here.

Keepinmovin · 04/12/2023 19:09

You've not mentioned if they are boys or girls, but definitely it's helpful for boys in particular to have a male role model in their lives and if you reduce contact with their father then that may be another factor to consider.
All round, sounds like a great job but not something you can do right now. Alternatively would your new work allow some degree of hybrid? Could you do something like week on/off custody and work the weeks without the kids in the 300 mile away city?

Coconutstar · 26/12/2023 16:14

Greenelandahoy · 09/06/2025 13:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

prh47bridge · 09/06/2025 15:14

This case was 18 months ago. I doubt the OP still needs advice.

Greenelandahoy · 09/06/2025 16:51

Glad you’re here to let everyone know!

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