Money taken by coercion and deception, can I get anything back?

[brokenbitbybit]

Im trying to support my friend and help her in anyway possible which is why im posting here for advice.

She was in a relationship for around six months. During this relationship she naively has been coerced into transferring him £1200. Not all in one time, but it was £50 here, £200 there. She's a lovely kind hearted trusting person but she's been totally naive and he's taken advantage of that. He emotionally manipulated her, lied about needing get a taxi to visit a seriously ill uncle (since found out uncle is alive and well and never been sick!) amongst other random excuses for needing money.

When she wouldn't pay he then would threaten suicide etc, so she transferred it to him.

The relationship ended and he was so verbally abusive to her, he's blocked on everything and on the occasions she's unblocked him to ask for her money back the disgusting abuse starts again.

She went through a small claims court, which he ignored all letters to. So she paid extra to have his bank account frozen, which has happened today and they have retained a whopping £3.47!!

The total he owes now due to court costs is £1463.

Is there anything else we can do? I don't know where to look for support, what to suggest, she's the last person in the world who deserves this.

He has a source of income by working cash in hand and claiming universal credit, which she has proof of, but it has transpired that his money seems to be going on drugs! She has text messages of him admitting the money he owes etc.

Thanks in advance for your time

What’s bizarre is that despite the above being the case - she has managed to get a court order and for his bank account to be frozen!

the OP’s money no doubt aided his drug taking

I agree with you. I'm actually amazed you can get a court order etc when money was handed over willingly. That must be open to serious abuse.

Ignore this idiot op. Thinking they look clever and coming across as thick as mince 😂

Unfortunately it seems your friend is going to write the debt off, and take it as a lesson learned. I’m actually surprised that she got awarded anything in the first place tbh. As far as I know, a series of small loans given over a course of a relationship will rarely be awarded back once they’ve broken up.

Get a life @Differencesclear 🙄🙄

Op there is no way of getting the money back if it’s gone beyond a court order and he has no earnings or assets. Will your friend incur more costs if she gets bailiffs involved? I know the costs are meant to be paid by the defendant, but I’d be wary in this situation as like you said, he’s living with his parents. Does he have a car in his own name?

What’s even more bizarre is despite showing with each post that you know very little about the small claims court, you keep posting!

Goodness! Time for a coffee for you!

back at you I’m afraid

this woman willingly gave money to someone one benefits

not a chance that his bank account was frozen and that will small claims will be successful

I will bow out!

I don’t think anyone can provide anymore clarity than you already have about what can be done next and what the likely outcome will be.

As her friend what do you think would be best for her?

Personally I don’t think think this course of action is healthy. There will be no end to it and her pain / anger will just perpetuate. Even after 6 years she will have recovered a pittance and still have him on her mind.

There are just some things in life that we cannot control and which are unfair. This is a man who has no ethics or morals. He lives outside societal norms knowing full well the state and legal authorities can’t be bothered dealing with him. Even if they did he would just be a bigger drain on the rest of us. Which is what he is to your friend on a personal level.

What she needs to remember is that he doesn’t have the things in life that are worthwhile. Like love, respect, trust and a sense of achievement. Those are the things she should be looking for elsewhere for herself . Not through pyrrhic victories.

Sounds like you've done everything right - even if your friend doesn't get the money back this judgment will make his life a bit more difficult. She could anonymously shop him for working cash in hand if she wants to get him in more trouble.

Really though she needs to take some responsibility... Write off the lost money, think of it as a naivety tax and resolve to have better boundaries in future.

You’ve never heard of a judgment in default?

To be successful in small claims court

you need to know how much you’re claiming, why you’re owed it, what happened when and if you want to claim interest.

does this sound like the case?

During this relationship she naively has been coerced into transferring him £1200. Not all in one time, but it was £50 here, £200 there

amongst other random excuses for needing the money

A judgement in default is given in exceptional circumstances and generally only when a specific amount

Well done on 'bowing out' @Differencesclear

Obviously I haven't gone in to great depth but she was coerced, luckily the judge at the small claims court agreed with her.

The bank account was frozen, I've seen the letter.

Anyway, thanks all for the helpful advice. Not the end of the world but an expensive lesson to learn

Again, you are showing your ignorance here.

Best you stay bowed out of this thread.

Which it was? Do you have any brain cells at all knocking about in that skull of yours?

I would write him a letter asking how much he would like to start paying in instalments, emphasising that if he sticks to a privately organised schedule he can avoid extra costs and bailiff visits. give him 28 days to reply and then send in the bailiffs.

He is a druggie on benefits

what do you suppose the bailiffs will take?

all it will mean is that the op spends more money chasing something that will never ever get her money back

All that will happen is she will get £5 a week until it's paid (or he gets a proper paying PAYE job that can be attached)

She's done all she can

That's why she should contact him first, to avoid paying more. All she needs is one payment every 6 years to keep the case open.

Does he have a car? Can his parents prove that the contents of their house don't belong to him? If he's a druggie whose bank account is frozen and works cash in hand, he'll probably have money lying around. Even if he just pays £10 a week from his benefits... it's something.