Big family issues after proceeds of estate paid

[SickWithWorry123]

I'm posting this as a last resort and also for clarification on whether I am in the wrong.

For clarity I have spoken to my Solicitor who advises that they/I have done nothing wrong.

I know I'm not thinking clearly, I'm feel broken, suicidal as I can see no way through this.

This is a long story but I will attempt to be as concise as possible without omitting important details.

My Grandma passed away 2 years ago. Myself and my now deceased Dad were Executors. Probate was granted December 2022. My Dad passed away earlier this year, unexpectedly, which left me the only remaining Executor. Proceeds of the estate were paid about 6 weeks ago to the remaining 7 beneficiaries. My Dads share was paid to me, as Executor of my Grandma's estate to be distributed to any beneficiaries once probate has been granted on his estate.

He died before making a Will so according to the rules of intestacy his estate will be divided between his 3 children as he was not married. I am one of the 3 children.

The funds from my Grandma's estate are sitting in an Executor account in my name.

This is where it gets difficult. There is no relationship between myself and my 2 sisters. They have been informed I have the money and they believe I have "stolen" it. Apparently the probate solicitor should not have transferred the money to me, as executor and trustee of my Grandma's estate and they are going to sue the Solicitor.

Today, one of the sisters turned up at my house trying to break the door door and smash my windows. She has threatened to kill my partner and me and is going to poison my dog. I am petrified as she is more than capable of this, I 100% believe that she will follow through with her threats.

The police attended earlier and are going to pop round and see her at some point over the next few days. The crime would only be breach of the peace though as the threats to kill are not recorded on the short video clip I was able to take.

They have advised me to get a civil injunction? I've spoken to a DV charity who are calling me back tomorrow but I don't know what to do next.

This is the culmination of years or abuse, harassment and coercion that I have had to put up with. I'm drained.

I guess I'm hoping that someone who has been through something similar or someone with legal knowledge can advise. Or anyone can reassure me that I haven't done anything wrong.

Sorry for the long post.

As a slight complication, or at least a narrowing of the options available, I think it might be too late to wash your hands of it and ask a solicitor to manage your father's share of your grandmother's money until administrators can be appointed for his estate. Or at least too late to do that and expect that the solicitors' fees be paid from your grandmother's estate.

Those fees as an executors' expense would I think need to be taken out of the total estate before the seven-way split. They would in effect be borne proportionately by all seven. But it's too late now because the estate has been distributed. And you can't just take the fees from your father's share alone. (It's an expense of administering your grandmother's estate, not your father's. His estate is not yet being administered.)

I'm not a probate expert, someone properly qualified might correct me, but just thought it was worth flagging.

Yes, they have both been told. They just don't want me to hold the money. They thought, wrongly, that as soon as Grans estate was settled Dads portion could be distributed.

Nothing will make her believe this is correct and that they have to wait for probate to be granted. The same way that they didn't understand the 6 month wait after probate had been granted for Grans estate. I was accused multiple times of holding things up.

Yes, you are correct. That is exactly the situation. Funeral has already been paid for and Dad didn't own his own home, no debts as far as I am aware but small amount in savings. I don't know any more as i do not have access to his home or paperwork. They took his keys, his wallet and belongings when he passed away.

They didn't even want me involved in his funeral....well apart from paying for it.

Do you need private for your dad if he has only a small amount in savings ? I would check with the bank / building society where he has the savings as they may not require it which would speed things up. The probate limits vary massively from one institution to another but you may be lucky

He passed in March.

No, I haven't confirmed I am administering his estate . I am holding the funds as executor/trustee of Grans estate.

I can't apply for probate as I have been prevented from accessing his home and paperwork. I don't have details of bank accounts etc.

Did you post about this before?

Is there any other family member who can help. Can't the probate Solicetor who dealt with your grandmother give you advice.

I think you should phone the probate office for advice.

Might you want to enter a caveat so that you can be made aware if anyone applies for LofA? And make sure banks etc know there are 'issues' around winding up his affairs.

No, first time.

She can and she has given some advice this afternoon but, to be honest, my sister hounded her and wouldn't accept that she couldn't speak to her because she wasn't authorised so I don't think she wants any involvement.

@Bromptotoo how would I go about this? I don't have any bank details, other than maybe who he banked with.

Also, no, I don't have anyone. The 2 people that understood how difficult my Sisters are have both passed. That's why my Dad and I were both executors as my Gran thought he would be there to help and support me. Unfortunately he deteriorated massively after she passed and, eventually, incapable of helping due to the onset of dementia, by this point it was too late for him to make a Will.

The caveat is something you enter with the Probate Office:

https://www.gov.uk/stop-probate-application/apply-for-a-caveat

If you know who he banked with then if they're aware of issues/disputes over who is entitled to his money you can at least tell them.

The Sisters both stole money from my Gran and Dad while they were alive. They are both extremely manipulative and have convinced everyone who knows is that I am the bad person because I went low/no contact.

I honestly see no way out of this that doesn't involve me just doing what they want.

She threatened to turn up at my work and cause a scene. I need to pre warn them which means further embarrassment. I've already had to apologise to my neighbours for the disturbance earlier. I'm mortified.

@Bromptotoo thank you I have just done this

Surely this is easily resolved by transferring your sisters shares to them immediately either yourself or through solicitors. Are you proposing you keep their share (a third each of your Dad's share)? Legally they have the same rights as you.

Apologies, my bedtime obviously. Yes I see that probate hasn't been granted yet so presumably that lump sum will be added to anything else (house sale?) then divided between you 3. In the meantime it's held in trust by the executor, which happens to be you.
What a shame, this probably is not what either your gran or your dad would have wanted. This has prompted me to get a basic will drawn up.

@JudgeRudy The OP isn't the executor of her dads estate as no one has been appointed. Somebody needs to apply for the letters of administration so that they can manage the Dads estate.

Nothing can happen until this is done. I don't understand why the OP is so reluctant to do this. The OP can phone and ask for advice from the probate office.

No, I have been told that I can only transfer the money once probate or letters of administration have been granted. I hold the money as an Executor of my Grans estate and not my Dads.

I'm not reluctant at all and I would have applied myself if I had access to any of his documents. When I applied for probate for my Grans estate I had to provide countless documents, including bank statements, pension documents, bills etc. I do not have access to any of these, I have been prevented from gaining access to his house since his death.

Just for one less worry - if this happened to a colleague or neighbour I would have nothing but sympathy for them, I would not have any judgement on them because their sibling is an addict/volatile. Everyone knows families can be strange and difficult to deal with. xxx

When my ddad passed away I went online and there is a website where I put his details in and it notified the major banks. But I was executor of his estate and he'd left a will. You are doing the right thing not distributing your dads share of your gm's estate. I hope you manage to get it sorted.

I'm not reluctant at all and I would have applied myself if I had access to any of his documents.

Will you at least phone and ask the probate office for advice?

I think you might be able to trace accounts and pensions etc without the paperwork

I'd get the solicitor to send a strongly worded letter explaining why the money cannot yet be distributed, and saying that if sister's threats continue you will apply for an injunction restraining her from coming within X metres of you, your home or your family. Costs of that application to be sought from your sister (and deducted from her share of the estate, as it sounds like she has no other money).

Hi op - so sorry you are going through this - how dire.
a bit extreme but could you move now or in the future so they don’t know where you are? The police are the safest way forward for now.
Have you heard of adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families - it maybe worth looking at.
In hope this settles down for you. 🌺

Get your solicitor to write to your sister saying that your dad's estate cannot be distributed until letters of administration have been gained and perhaps the sister would like the solicitor to help with that for her fee of £x?

Can the solicitor hold the funds in a client account until probate is granted on Dad’s estate? Then get the solicitor to write to the sisters and say they have the money and they will distribute it directly once Dad’s probate is granted?

This seems even more sensible if you’re not dealing with Dad’s estate as you can then just not be involved at all until the solicitor asks for your approval to distribute as DGM’s executor.

There will be a cost but at least a third party is controlling the money so no one can “steal” it.