Acquaintance named me next of kin; died intestate.

[oopslateagain]

An elderly chap "Alan" I have known for a few years died this week. We weren't particularly close friends, I looked after his cat when he was on holiday and I've given him a lift to the hospital when he couldn't get a taxi. Our social interactions were limited to saying hello if I saw him on the street, and texts about his holiday dates when he needed me to cat-sit. He was taken ill a few weeks ago and has been in hospital, so I've been at his flat every day to feed/care for his cat. It was a complete surprise when the hospital called over the weekend saying that as I was next of kin (!) they were notifying me that he was deteriorating and would keep me updated. I've since discovered that he also notified his assisted living facility that I was both next of kin and his emergency contact. He passed away on Monday.

The assisted living facility manager "Mandy" assumed that I was fully aware that Alan had nominated me as next of kin, and also thought that it was likely I was named as executor on his will. We looked (briefly) for a will but couldn't find one. We did however find an insurance policy to cover funeral costs. As the hospital already had me listed as his contact, I spoke to the hospital bereavement service and they have made an appointment for me to register the death next week. I've also spoken to the insurance regarding the funeral, they have put me in touch with the funeral director who will be dealing with it. Mandy is assuming that I will be the person dealing with everything from this point forward, though I did say several times that I'm not actually family and that we need to find his will.

I discovered from his neighbour that he used a will writing company a couple of months ago. I have contacted them, and the will has only just been prepared, it has not yet been sent to him and has not been signed or witnessed, so it's not valid. But they did tell me that I was, indeed, named as executor along with my husband.

I'm not sure where this leaves me, both legally and morally. He has absolutely no family. He lived alone. It's quite possible he died intestate. I'm intending to go to his flat tomorrow and do a proper search to see if I can find an older will, but it's quite possible it doesn't exist. And (legally) is it even ok for me to search his flat?

If there is no will, I don't know if I can do anything at all. Can I still be the one to register the death? Who arranges the funeral - the policy is paid up so the funeral plan is active and will cover the funeral costs.

I have taken his cat home with me as there was nobody else who wanted her, she's settled in nicely with my other cats so that's one problem solved.

I'm not sure what my next steps should be. Any advice at all would be very helpful.

OK, I have drafted a letter to Mandy. I have outlined all the steps I've taken so far, including names and phone numbers (for the will writer, the funeral company, the hospital bereavement service, the Registrar). I've stated that as I'm not related to Alan and not named on any paperwork, I have no legal authority to touch his belongings or paperwork, or arrange anything on his behalf. I also said that there was an appointment booked with the Registrar to register his death, but I have realised I'm not able to do this so she/her company needs to deal with this.

I did say I would like to be informed of any funeral arrangements, and that I would be happy to pass on that information to all his friends and social groups.

Does that sound about right?

I will ring the funeral company on Monday and let them know that I'm no longer a point of contact, would it be appropriate to give them Mandy's contact details? Or just let them know that 'someone' should be in touch with them soon?

well done on all you have done.

I think giving Mandy’s details would be reasonable.

I'd also add a separate note on your thoughts on funeral arrangements- favourite music/poems etc, and volunteer to talk to the vicar /celebrant to help them write the sermon.

(Although maybe the draft will / funeral plan has already got those details)

Personally I would walk away from all of it. You have been kind and taken in his cat. That’s more than enough. Let the state sort it. From the outside this is all set up in a silly way and there’s no reason for you to be doing any of it.

@WakeMeUpWhenGoodOmensIsBack honestly I couldn't - I didn't know Alan that well. I know what religion he was but that's all; I have no idea what music he would like. Mandy knows Alan's neighbour was very friendly with him so he would be the best person for that, I assume she would speak to him (if she is the person arranging the funeral). From what the funeral company said, the only 'instructions' Alan left were that he was to be cremated.

Yes after I posted that I reread your OP and realised that you wouldn't know that stuff - so as long as Mandy's been flagged to the person who might then that's best.

Yup this

Next of kin has no legal meaning in this context. You are only entitled to register the death if you meet set legal criteria- the only category you might fall into is "arranging the funeral" but be aware that if you give instructions to a funeral director you are legally liable for any costs incurred (much of which may be covered by the funeral plan, but beware.) The district or borough council has a public health team which is responsible for dealing with funerals for those without family or executors - you are under no obligation to do anything and the public health team will likely track down more distant family to make arrangements if they exist (which seems only fair as they'll inherit under intestacy.) If you search his flat you are vulnerable to allegations that items (non-existent, obvs) have gone missing. Also re cat, be aware that beneficiaries of Alan's estate could insist on taking the cat (not likely, but they'd be entitled!)

Funeral arranger here. The death should be registered by a relative or someone who was present at the time of death. Sounds as though you weren't there OP so this responsibility would not fall to you. You could do it if you're arranging the funeral, but I don't think you are wanting to do that (quite rightly).

An insurance policy isn't a pre-paid plan. It's an amount of money to (hopefully) cover the funeral expenses. Someone will still have to contact a funeral director to make the actual arrangements.

It was nice of you to look after this gentleman's cat but I think you're right to contact Mandy and say you had no knowledge of being named next of kin and you do not want the responsibility of making the funeral arrangements. Push it all back to Mandy or the bereavement service to deal with.

You have taken care of the living , OP, you don’t have to concern yourself with the dead.

You obviously were a positive factor for Alan while he lived: he doesn’t need you now. You are still caring for the living by taking the living being he cared most for into your home. You have discharged all your responsibilities now.

May I say , I salute you. There are many people who would not reach your level of compassion and care.

So glad somebody has said this!

Also re cat, be aware that beneficiaries of Alan's estate could insist on taking the cat (not likely, but they'd be entitled!)

A good warning about this sort of situation in general but, in the OP's case, Alan was intestate, and doesn't seem to have had any family who would be entitled to inherit under the intestacy rules. So any assets are likely to go to the Crown, and the King is more of a dog person 😉

Just an update: I called the registry office today and they confirmed I could not register the death, and said that Mandy should be the one to do this (and sent me an email to confirm this as well). I also rang the funeral director and brought them up to date; they now have Mandy's contact details and they will check also with the hospital (who have not yet released the body).

I went to Alan's flat and saw Mandy this morning, I gave her the letter I'd written with all the details, and explained everything to her. I said that the parent company (of the assisted living facility) must have a procedure to follow if someone dies intestate with no living relatives. At first she kept saying "Yes, but as next of kin, you..." and I just firmly kept repeating "Now he's passed away I'm legally not next of kin." Finally she sighed, opened up her computer, and opened a document on her desktop that set out step by step what she had to do if a resident died.

She read a couple of the steps to me, including "According to the will, well he's not got one, has he..." and "The next of kin... well, that's you but it's not, is it..." and ended up saying that it would all be put "in the hands of the council, I suppose, if there's nobody else to do it", and looked at me hopefully. I just agreed, "yes, if that's what your document says, then that's what you'll have to do." She looked very much less than impressed.

I was waiting to hear from the registry office at this point so she was still hopeful that I could register the death. When I rang to tell her no, I couldn't, she sighed and said "I've been filling in forms all day..." Yes, I suppose she has, but then that is her job, isn't it?

I also rang Alan's neighbour to let him know Mandy was now dealing with everything, and to make sure he was aware that this was because legally I can't touch any of Alan's documents or property and it's literally her job to deal with all this, and not because I just couldn't be bothered. I have a tiny feeling Mandy might be irritated that I didn't take it all off her shoulders. Neighbour said she's been on the telephone and computer all day, and filling in forms - apparently she's usually attending a coffee morning and doing some social stuff, and this has rather upset her day.

At least she did say that she would let me know about any funeral arrangements; I did ask the neighbour to let me know too, in case she forgets.

It's a huge relief to have handed it all over.

Well done, OP.

I've just realised my update doesn't paint Mandy in a very good light That's not my intention, just the feeling I got from her that I had really irritated her and she was quite short with me.

Well done, you were nicely assertive and rightly so.

Aw poor man. How very sad to have no one at all

Pretty sure that 'next of kin' confers no rights, and that you certainlydon't have the right to be going into the house and sorting through his stuff. I would simply let the relevant people know that it was some sort of misunderstanding and that you cannot play any part going forward.
If he was still alve, it might have been a kindness to act as some sort of emergency contact as he presumably intended, but anything more than that would be intrusive and might even lead you into inadvertently doing something wrongful, like disposing of his belongings.

I think not painting Mandy in a very good light is fine. Mandy doesn't know what she's talking about even though it's part of her job, didn't want to do part of her job, and huffed at you when you set her straight. She may very well have got other people, who weren't legally required or meant to do certain things, to do stuff in the past, which could have cost them a lot of time, some money, or even caused them to get into trouble later. Mandy can sod off 😉

OP it's great that you were kind to him in life and have taken on the cat (which I agree is technically part of his estate but it's very unlikely a distant relative will come and claim it) and I think you have handled this well. I don't think Alan was being that cheeky, your kindness probably meant a lot to him, he was probably anticipating getting his affairs in order before dying, thinking mostly about the cat, and wouldn't have realised that the task her was setting your was onerous especially if his estate was small and simple.

I wouldn't worry about how Mandy comes across. You've stated what happened. That she doesn't come across well is on her. Met a few Mandy's. Having worked in social services and around death the term next of kin causes confusion. As you said she is simply irritated that she has to deal with it which means she needs to liaise with the LA. As a pp said she's probably been able to fob it off or guilt someone else into doing it thus far but lots of places dealing with the elderly etc will be doing this.

Sorry for the loss of your friend

This may help

https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will