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Original poster

Son staying at grandmas

34 replies

Annon2023 · 26/02/2023 20:39

My son stays equal amounts between myself and his dad, but he sleeps over at his grandmas house regularly when in his dads care. I have no problem with this, he loves staying there, but his dad insists it counts as one of his nights. Is this correct? He's not there with our son, he's off out somewhere.
If my son is sleeping out somewhere, I would say it doesn't count as either of our nights? We have come to this argument after he insisted on having our son the same number of nights as me and not paying child maintenance.
Any advise welcomed. Thanks.

OP posts:
Matilda1981 · 26/02/2023 20:41

Yes - it would be classed as one of his nights - if you’ve only got your son 50% of the time then you shouldn’t need any maintenance!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 26/02/2023 20:43

Yes it's one of his nights. You're not having them more because of it are you

BendingSpoons · 26/02/2023 20:43

It is his night, as he is responsible and is arranging what DS does.

Kedece2410 · 26/02/2023 20:48

If its his Dads night & he has a sleepover at his Grans house it's still his Dads night.

You're still only having him half the week

What exactly is the point you're trying to make with your ex. It's not impacting on you so what's the issue??

Nimbostratus100 · 26/02/2023 20:49

his

Ohnobillyoh · 26/02/2023 20:52

CMS only count it as one of his Dad’s nights if Dad sleeps at grandmas too.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 26/02/2023 20:55

50/50 doesn’t automatically mean no maintenance due.

Speak to CMS

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/02/2023 21:00

His night.

Original poster
Annon2023 · 27/02/2023 08:20

Wow! I can't actually believe how judgemental some people are on here! It was a genuine question and to have people tell me say "What exactly is the point you're trying to make with your ex. It's not impacting on you so what's the issue??" is just rude! Also, "if you’ve only got your son 50% of the time then you shouldn’t need any maintenance!" who are you to say anything about my situation?
If people don't have anything polite to say, keep it to yourself!

OP posts:
SeulementUneFois · 27/02/2023 08:23

OP
It sounds like you only want the answers that agree with you...
Try standing back and looking at things from an outside perspective, you will see what people are saying.

Roselilly36 · 27/02/2023 08:36

You asked a question, poster have given their opinions, no need to take it so personally.

Paq · 27/02/2023 08:38

Yes it's "his" night for CMS purposes but it's a bit rubbish parenting.

kindercup · 27/02/2023 08:43

Wow! I can't actually believe how judgemental some people are on here! I

I just see posters answering your question Confused

Ohnobillyoh · 27/02/2023 09:18

But people are giving duff advice . The law is clear. It’s not his night unless Dad is also staying with granny

EyesOnThePies · 27/02/2023 09:19

Is the grandma your exes Mum or yours?

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/02/2023 09:29

Ohnobillyoh · 27/02/2023 09:18

But people are giving duff advice . The law is clear. It’s not his night unless Dad is also staying with granny

So if, for example, the OP was a shift worker whose own mum provided childcare overnight when she was working a night shift, OP would then potentially owe her ex maintenance because she hadn’t been with her child during “her” time?

I’m not convinced “the law” says anything of the sort.

prh47bridge · 27/02/2023 09:30

Ohnobillyoh · 27/02/2023 09:18

But people are giving duff advice . The law is clear. It’s not his night unless Dad is also staying with granny

This is correct. The Child Support Maintenance Calculation Regulations 2012 are clear that, for calculating any reduction in maintenance, the only nights that count are those where the non-resident parent has care of the child and the child stays at the same address as the NRP (with a couple of exceptions around boarding schools and hospital stays). If the father in this case does not sleep at grandma's too, it is not one of his nights for calculating child maintenance.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/02/2023 09:30

Obviously his night.

prh47bridge · 27/02/2023 11:23

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/02/2023 09:29

So if, for example, the OP was a shift worker whose own mum provided childcare overnight when she was working a night shift, OP would then potentially owe her ex maintenance because she hadn’t been with her child during “her” time?

I’m not convinced “the law” says anything of the sort.

Show quote history

The relevant law is the Child Support Maintenance Regulations 2012, specifically regulation 46(5)(a). This specifically states:

"a night will count where the non-resident parent has the care of the qualifying child overnight and the child stays at the same address as the non-resident parent"

Regulation 46(5)(c) provides an exception allowing nights where a child is a boarder at a boarding school or is in hospital to count if the child would otherwise be with the NRP.

As OP is not the NRP, it doesn't matter where her son sleeps when he is with her.

Collaborate · 27/02/2023 12:42

Ohnobillyoh · 26/02/2023 20:52

CMS only count it as one of his Dad’s nights if Dad sleeps at grandmas too.

I am a solicitor and advise and represent clients in CMS Tribunal proceedings. This is wholly incorrect.

Collaborate · 27/02/2023 12:44

prh47bridge · 27/02/2023 11:23

The relevant law is the Child Support Maintenance Regulations 2012, specifically regulation 46(5)(a). This specifically states:

"a night will count where the non-resident parent has the care of the qualifying child overnight and the child stays at the same address as the non-resident parent"

Regulation 46(5)(c) provides an exception allowing nights where a child is a boarder at a boarding school or is in hospital to count if the child would otherwise be with the NRP.

As OP is not the NRP, it doesn't matter where her son sleeps when he is with her.

Show quote history

You have fallen in to the trap for the unwary (don't worry - Tribunals used to get thisd wrong too) by considering regs 46 and 47 when in fact it is a regulation 50 case.

prh47bridge · 27/02/2023 12:51

Collaborate · 27/02/2023 12:44

You have fallen in to the trap for the unwary (don't worry - Tribunals used to get thisd wrong too) by considering regs 46 and 47 when in fact it is a regulation 50 case.

Show quote history

Thanks.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2023 12:53

It's still his night. He has just chosen to use some overnight childcare.

Sunriseinwonderland · 27/02/2023 12:53

He's a lazy penny pinching shit in my opinion using his mother to look after his own child because he can't be bothered.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2023 13:00

Sunriseinwonderland · 27/02/2023 12:53

He's a lazy penny pinching shit in my opinion using his mother to look after his own child because he can't be bothered.

That's for him and his mother to worry about. He will reap the results when his son is old enough to choose how much contact he has.

All the OP can do is do what's best for her and ds on her time.