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Ex partner’s solicitor is instructing me not to visit family home?

30 replies

MalcolmGently · 11/02/2023 13:20

I have recently left a toxic situation. I was co-parenting with my ex-partner. We aren’t married and have one daughter together. There was a lot of coercion and control in her behaviour, even after the breakdown of the relationship. After years of struggling with my mental and physical health, I finally took the step to move out. The atmosphere was terrible and after a lot heart-searching, this seemed the best course for everyone’s future happiness - especially my daughter. I am living nearby in order to be close to my daughter, just about managing the rent whilst also covering the mortgage and bills on the family home.

Moving out did not go down well with my ex and her attempts to control my behaviour have become more extreme.

Earlier this week I received an email from a solicitor that is seemingly representing my ex (this was the first time I had any indication a solicitor was involved). The solicitor has stated that l “must not” go to the family home without 48 hours notice and my ex’s consent. We own the home jointly and I haven’t been turning up unannounced.

Any thoughts on this please? Maybe I’m overthinking it or am too sensitive to anything that feels like controlling behaviour but it seemed a little unusual to me that a solicitor is attempting to impose such terms.

OP posts:
drpet49 · 11/02/2023 14:52

Viviennemary · 11/02/2023 14:11

Thats is really cheeky. I would get a solicitor and force the sale of the home. Its half yours. Good point to check if e-mail has really come from a solicitor.

This

FenghuangHoyan · 11/02/2023 15:14

As others have said, a letter from a solicitor is meaningless. It carries no weight at all and it's the same as if your partner has written it but put larger words in (and then burnt a couple of hundred pounds in their garden).

Be very careful in regards to the house situation. You need to get legal advice and salt fight fitev with fire. This sounds a bit too much like the situation I was in years ago. I lost the house amongst other things.

Ivebeentofairyhousebutiveneverbeentomeath · 11/02/2023 18:27

Start steps to sell the house. Why should you pay the full mortgage on it when it's jointly owned? She's a cheeky mare.

KatieB55 · 05/03/2023 21:04

My solicitor wrote to my ex to say I could not be denied access to the house and locks must not be changed.

Collaborate · 06/03/2023 12:27

Some dodgy advice on this thread.

OP - it may be your house but right now it's no longer your home. It is not unreasonable to request that you giuve notice of when you want to visit.

I presume though that your ex is paying all the bills.

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