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Original poster

To want money back from ex?

61 replies

Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 13:45

Long story short I lived with my ex for just under 18 months before I left him. We were In the process of adding me to his mortgage so we would be joint owners of his property. We renovated the property and spent around 12k all in. With hindsight I realise it was foolish to put 6k of my money into a property I didn’t own yet but at the time it was for keeps so it didn’t seem like an issue.

He initially said he would pay me back when we broke up but then refused as he was angry I’d left. I left due to emotional abuse, gaslighting and cheating. I’ve found out he intends to sell the property and I’m annoyed about the money I’ve lost. I’ve enquired with a no win no fee law firm but I’m not sure if I have a case? The renovations have definitely increased his property value as he has a new bathroom and kitchen. Should I email him and let him know I’m pursuing legal action? Or should I just move on and accept I made a stupid decision? I’m annoyed about the whole situation and want to move on but 6k isn’t a small amount of money. I’m just not sure on where I stand. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 14:54

@stayathomegardener he will never pay it back out of the kindness of his heart. He is a narcissist and hates that I left him. I know that word gets thrown around a lot on here but our therapist is the one who diagnosed him. He has a very nasty side so there’s no point trying to appeal to his good nature. He doesn’t have one

OP posts:
Stuffynosetime · 10/02/2023 14:58

Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 14:24

The firm I’ve found take 25% which I can live with

Op have you read the contract?

they will take 25 percent above any costs. If you win you are Liable for full costs. It isn’t just 25% .

so if their costs are 10 grand and you win 400 pounds. You will owe them 10 grand and 25% of 400 . You still owe them full costs.

be very careful.

Reugny · 10/02/2023 14:58

I was about to write that you likely have a case due to the handful of people I know who threatened legal action against their ex for managing and/or helping with renovations. Only 2 of the cases actually went to Court the rest were settled outside, and with the cases that went to Court the ex had to pay up.

In future if you give a partner you are not married to/in a civil partnership with, money for an asset or car that you don't own make sure you keep written messages that make it clear that the money is a loan.

Mindymomo · 10/02/2023 15:02

So what happens if he counter claims that you paid no rent. You could end up having to pay him, plus Solicitor costs which will be way more than £6,000 if it goes to Court, be very careful.

RaiseTheStakesAndMakeTheLastWordDuckhead · 10/02/2023 15:12

OP - they almost always say you have a case because you are liable for the fees anyway. PLEASE ensure it is no win, no fee.

If you have a case with them, then you have a case in no claims. You don’t need a solicitor for such a small amount.

Personally, I’d write it off as rent.

Original poster
Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:13

@RaiseTheStakesAndMakeTheLastWordDuckhead thank you, I’ve gone with a no win no fee firm so im not liable for anything if nothing comes of it

OP posts:
distrussful · 10/02/2023 15:16

Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:13

@RaiseTheStakesAndMakeTheLastWordDuckhead thank you, I’ve gone with a no win no fee firm so im not liable for anything if nothing comes of it

Have you read the fine print @Stuffynosetime highlights? If it's 25% plus costs you could be liable for more than they get back for you

ZekeZeke · 10/02/2023 15:18

You lived rent free for 18 months and contributed 6,000 for renovations. I would laugh in your face I was your ex.
Why on earth do you think you are entitled to anything?
If you had paid rent I would have more sympathy.

emptythelitterbox · 10/02/2023 15:19

Good luck with the case.

Hopefully he'll pay you back with knowing you're suing him.

Original poster
Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:35

Good thing I’m here for advice not sympathy then @ZekeZeke he would have been paying the mortgage anyway. I helped fund half of a 12k renovation. We split bills and we were in the process of adding my name to the deeds and mortgage. I personal feel I should get some of it back and clearly the solicitor agrees.

OP posts:
Original poster
Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:35

@distrussful it’s just 25% of whatever I’m awarded if I win

OP posts:
007DoubleOSeven · 10/02/2023 15:42

You might be able to register an interest in the property so that when it's sold he's obliged to give you back what you spent from the sale

titchy · 10/02/2023 15:43

Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:35

@distrussful it’s just 25% of whatever I’m awarded if I win

There is usually a clause that it has to be court awarded, so if he makes you an offer before court that you accept, then it doesn't actually get court ordered, but you are still liable for their costs. Be very very careful.

Going to a small claim court and doing it all yourself (it's a very simple process) is probably a less risky way forward.

ZekeZeke · 10/02/2023 15:50

Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:35

Good thing I’m here for advice not sympathy then @ZekeZeke he would have been paying the mortgage anyway. I helped fund half of a 12k renovation. We split bills and we were in the process of adding my name to the deeds and mortgage. I personal feel I should get some of it back and clearly the solicitor agrees.

YOU benefitted from living there rent free.
If you were a man you would be called a cocklodger.

Your feelings don't matter.

007DoubleOSeven · 10/02/2023 15:51

ZekeZeke · 10/02/2023 15:50

YOU benefitted from living there rent free.
If you were a man you would be called a cocklodger.

Your feelings don't matter.

Show quote history

Not a cocklodger if funded renovations, no. Regardless of being a woman or man

windyarse · 10/02/2023 15:53

Look at it from a different perspective.

You were going to be added to the mortgage. You were not gaining anything but debt at that point.

Original poster
Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:53

@ZekeZeke hardly a cocklodger. We split everything except the mortgage. I’ve seen plenty of women advised to do the same thing on here when discussing moving a partner in with them. The advice is always never let them pay towards the mortgage if their name isn’t on the property otherwise they could potentially have a claim to it. Your opinion is noted however it’s a non factor

OP posts:
Parky04 · 10/02/2023 15:56

If I was your ex, I would just say the £6k for renovations was in lieu of rent. The 'no win no fee' solicitor might send one letter and hope he pays out, as that would be easy money for them, but I doubt they will take it much further.

elizzza · 10/02/2023 15:59

I’m a solicitor and I would be very wary of a firm prepared to give you no win no fee representation on a £6k case. Did they mention the costs you will have to pay - eg the court fee to file a £6k claim is £455 and you will have to pay that even if you lose (I imagine all firms would require you to pay this to them before they file your claim). If they haven’t mentioned this to you, there might also be other disbursements (third party costs) that you will be liable to pay. Check their agreement, I’m certain it will say no costs “excluding disbursements”.

Plus, if you lose the court can order you to pay the other side’s legal costs, so even if you don’t have to pay your own fees (except the court fee) you might get stuck with a bill for your ex’s fees.

ZekeZeke · 10/02/2023 16:12

Teabeanie · 10/02/2023 15:53

@ZekeZeke hardly a cocklodger. We split everything except the mortgage. I’ve seen plenty of women advised to do the same thing on here when discussing moving a partner in with them. The advice is always never let them pay towards the mortgage if their name isn’t on the property otherwise they could potentially have a claim to it. Your opinion is noted however it’s a non factor

18 months rent for 76 quid a week (plus utilities) is a bargain.Risk going to court by all means buy you may be liable for his costs along with your own if you lose.

Collaborate · 10/02/2023 17:15

I'm a lawyer and I deal with these cases. You should have the makings of a case.

Elieza · 10/02/2023 17:25

If you own stuff that’s in his house and can prove it, surely you’re entitled to it back.

id be round for my tables, TV, clothes and picture frames and whatever.

Under police escort if needs be if he is violent.

I’d be tempted to rip all the (say for example) laminate flooring I’d paid for up etc. too.

If anyone asked i can provide a receipt and say it’s mine so I’m taking it! Who can stop me?! :-S

You might have to hire a van to get all the broken laminate out, as you can’t rip it up and leave it, but if it made you feel better, he’d have to pay a lot more to have it refitted!

SunshineAndFizz · 10/02/2023 17:27

Hydie · 10/02/2023 13:56

I'd prob call it a day. Just tell yourself it was £333 a month rent for the time you lived there, it might be easier to accept.

Agree with this.

Completely understand why you'd want it back, but in reality I don't think legally you have a leg to stand on.

Plus you didn't pay rent, so overall it's not a bad deal. Just move on.

Wiluli · 10/02/2023 17:37

Personally and I’m telling you this a solicitor obviously without any bias , you will win very little if any . Solicitor fees will eat it up . Move on , do nit waste any time or your mental health on this

worried4698643 · 10/02/2023 17:40

You are being incredibly Silly OP.
A firm is not going to represent you on the slim chance they might get 2k back. There will be a clause somewhere where you will have to pay.

Write it off. You lived rent free. You are actually already financially winning here already.