Where do stand in a divorce? Please help

[4D85]

Ill try and keep it brief. Married with 2 kids under 11. I am married to a cheating narcissist and need to escape asap.

I pay all the bills except food and petrol.
I pay the mortgage, she is noted as financial interest. I earn circa 40k a year, she earns about 12k self employed and fails to declare about another 10k+ a year to the taxman

what are the chances of me getting the house in a divorce? I can afford to buy her out, she cant.
Her creditis poor.

she tells me she can stay in the house until youngest child is 18 but if that is the case, how am i supposed to get on with life? I wouldnt be able to afford a second home without money from the house

please help
thanks

www.money.co.uk/mortgages/what-divorce-means-for-your-mortgage

The important thing is where is it best for the children to live. Thinking about their school, their friendships, clubs, nearby relatives. It’s not about you atm.

Her behaviour is irrelevant to the financial settlement. The fact you pay the mortgage and most bills is also irrelevant. But anyone offering an answer on here would be guessing. You need to consult a solicitor.

I don't see any benefits fraud. There is no suggestion that anyone is claiming benefits. She may be defrauding the tax man, but he is not.

Give it a rest , will you? about 99% of self employment/ tradesmen are fraudsters then

she tells me she can stay in the house until youngest child is 18

She's talking about a mesher. It's trooped out all the time but in reality is pretty rare to be granted one and for a long period of time.

even if she did get one she'd have to prove she can pay the mortgage and bills on it. You wouldn't be expected to pay the bills on that home and the new home you find yourself.

what are the chances of me getting the house in a divorce?
Quite low.

How much equity is there?

Who's the primary caregiver and would you be looking to go 50:50?

You are entitled to request caring for your DC 50:50 from now on and if so need the means to house them.

Obviously if you work long hours or away a lot that may not be an option.

You need to figure out 2 things...

1. Not to listen to your wife's guess work on what she's entitled to and seek proper legal council.

1. Work out your plan for the kids. Do you plan to have them 50% (or more) of the week and can your work etc accommodate this.

If the answer to the second is yes then there is no reason why you are not looking at at 50% split of assets as a starting point. Messer orders for young kids are unlikely - which is what I assume your wife thinks she'll get... this is where you carry on supporting the house until the kids turn 18, but this would be unusual on your salary anyway unless the kids were 16/17 and finishing school so needed that security for a short time as clearly you both need to love somewhere.

The court will look to provide a home for all of you within the assets of the marriage. That might mean giving your wife a higher share as you have the higher earnings for a mortgage etc, but you would both be adequately housed. Sort out your plans for the kids- that's the key bit.

She would only get the house if she can prove that she can pay the full mortgage alone. If she does not agree to leave and allow you to buy her out then you may need an order to sell and this can take a bit of time. You are best speaking to a solicitor. If you have to remain in the same home post separation you should ensure that your separation is official.

1. probably best not to make stuff up

2. the wife is evading tax, not the OP

Do please explain what benefits you think she would be entitled to given that her husband earns around £40k. Let me give you a clue - the only benefit she would get is child benefit. That is unaffected by whether she earns £12k or £22k. So no, she is not entitled to more benefits through under-declaring her income and there is no benefit fraud.

If the OP is correct and the £10k he says is not declared is not a legitimate business expense, she is evading tax. OP is not. He is not responsible for the accuracy of her tax return.

According to OP, she is not declaring £10k of income. Assuming the £12k she does declare takes her up to her personal allowance and there are no business expenses to offset against this income, the tax saving through under-declaring is £2k, 20% of the amount she is not declaring. Hardly piddley. The additional benefits from not declaring this income, however, is a nice round number - zero.

OP go and get some legal advice. Get all your financial information together including income and outgoings and value of the house, any savings, cars and pensions. Only they will be able to help. If you are in a position to buy her out then you may be able to stay there. You do need to look at whether you can do 50/50 childcare and costs of how you could do that. You may also to look at what you may need to pay in child maintenance if your ex gets residency. If she does she may also get a larger shareholders equity.

However try not to fixate on her cheating etc . It is now a financial transaction as far as assets are concerned.

Your ex's tax affairs are her own.

share of not shareholders

Tax evasion is clearly wrong but the OP is not responsible for his wife's tax return. Each individual income earner is accountable for their own tax affairs. Calling him a benefit cheat is both wrong and very rude.
And even the wife is hardly Nadim Zahawi.

Thanks all for your input. Whilst i appreciate the "fraud" on tax, i have repeatedly told her to be accurate so that we could look to buy a bigger house when we were happy.

a few points....all my immediate family live literally one or 2 streets away (odd i know) so they help with any child care and do so almost daily. Ive lived in these streets all my life. My wife has no family around here. The nearest is 10 miles away. My family want nothing do with her so whilst i appreciate this is all financial, id assume that would play a small part. I also work from home and we'd want to have 50/50 childcare split. I could do every single school run if needed

ps my kids ARE the priorty, i dote on them. That said, i just want to be able to move on in life. I cant afford to pay current mortgage and then get another mortgage for another house too. Neither can i afford to rent. It all just seems impossible atm. Im totally exhausted