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Original poster

Child Maintenance

59 replies

Gillan3190 · 09/01/2023 17:56

Hi there .

Looking for a bit of advice . My partner and myself pay child maintenance weekly to his pervious partner for his 17 year old daughter , I have been made aware that she hasn't attended school since Oct 2023 and is currently working for her mother. I know her mother has not informed Child benefits of this situation and therefore CM will not close the case until CB stops , Does anyone have any advice on what I can do ? Can I contact the school ?

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 09/01/2023 18:07

The school won't talk to you but they should talk to your partner. If his daughter left in October, Child Benefit payments should have stopped at the end of November. If you are right that the mother hasn't informed the DWP, your partner should remind her that she needs to do so and that she is committing benefits fraud. If she still refused, I would seriously consider informing the DWP myself if it were me.

hoppityscotch · 10/01/2023 06:19

Firstly - it's your partner who has to do the legwork here, they won't (and shouldn't) discuss this with you.

PP has suggested reminding mum that CB should have stopped. I personally would skip this step if she is very high conflict and instead go straight to the DWP and let them investigate it.

Collaborate · 10/01/2023 06:39

He should ignore the DWP and challenge the CMS at tribunal if necessary. The CMS legislation does not say the mother gets CM if she gets CB. There is a need for them to get evidence of whether the child is in education and they cannot wash their hands of that by saying that if CB is paid then they will look no further.

daybroke · 10/01/2023 06:40

Why are you paying his child maintenance?

pinkfondu · 10/01/2023 06:43

Why doesn't he want to support his 17 year old daughter?

Hoardasurass · 10/01/2023 06:55

At 17 his dd is still legally a child and he needs to pay for her.

You need to back off this is non of your business and you are not only risking his relationship with his dd but you are destroying any chance of a relationship with her yourself which will affect your relationship with your partner.
Why would you want to interfere with your partners relationship with his dd like this

prh47bridge · 10/01/2023 08:33

Hoardasurass · 10/01/2023 06:55

At 17 his dd is still legally a child and he needs to pay for her.

You need to back off this is non of your business and you are not only risking his relationship with his dd but you are destroying any chance of a relationship with her yourself which will affect your relationship with your partner.
Why would you want to interfere with your partners relationship with his dd like this

No, he doesn't. The mother is no longer entitled to child maintenance or child benefit unless his daughter is still in full time education.

Original poster
Gillan3190 · 10/01/2023 09:38

For a start , I didn't say he doesn't want to provided for his daughter . If child maintenance payments stop he would be more than happy to provide money straight to his daughter. I deal with his child maintenance as he works full time and it's impossible to get through to them while working a full time job . Also I don't pay his child maintenance WE both do as we are a couple. I also am not trying to destroy the relationship with her. She has left school and thats when child maintenance payments stop . Not my rules ! I'm just trying to figure out how child maintenance find out about this as the mother will more than happily commit fraud to get every penny out of him.

OP posts:
youhavenoidea123 · 10/01/2023 09:57

I had a a private agreement with my ex that being realistic it costs the parent the child/young person they reside with far beyond them being in education.

The maintenance amount has dropped but my ex still supports and my DC are 20 & 23. One at uni, one working this year but plans to return to studies next year.

I'd be infested to know/hear if the DC came to live with you full time Sitka you expect your outgoings to remain the same?

Reugny · 10/01/2023 10:01

You may be a couple but legally only he is responsible for paying child maintenance.

daybroke · 10/01/2023 10:12

You are not both legally obliged to pay his child maintenance. It is calculated solely on his income not yours.

Original poster
Gillan3190 · 10/01/2023 13:54

When I say we pay it . That is because all our money is one . I never said I pay it . As already stated I am a rep for his case as he is working full time. Again I didn't say that once csa stops all money will stop . But once csa stops all money from us will go straight to his daughters bank account rather than her mother . I was only looking to find out how csa will be informed of her leaving school. As pervious situations we have been through her mother does not keep them informed of these kind of changes

OP posts:
Collaborate · 11/01/2023 12:46

Hoardasurass · 10/01/2023 06:55

At 17 his dd is still legally a child and he needs to pay for her.

You need to back off this is non of your business and you are not only risking his relationship with his dd but you are destroying any chance of a relationship with her yourself which will affect your relationship with your partner.
Why would you want to interfere with your partners relationship with his dd like this

This is bad and incorrect advice

SeasonFinale · 11/01/2023 12:51

Hoardasurass · 10/01/2023 06:55

At 17 his dd is still legally a child and he needs to pay for her.

You need to back off this is non of your business and you are not only risking his relationship with his dd but you are destroying any chance of a relationship with her yourself which will affect your relationship with your partner.
Why would you want to interfere with your partners relationship with his dd like this

This is legal matters. You get to be nasty to step mothers on a different board. Here the legal position is given.

PrayingandHoping · 11/01/2023 12:54

Are u in England?

I was under impression that legally a child has to stay in some form of education until they are 18 now?

FloydPepper · 11/01/2023 13:05

pinkfondu · 10/01/2023 06:43

Why doesn't he want to support his 17 year old daughter?

No one said that. Perhaps don’t leap to a conclusion by making up whatever you feel like?

FloydPepper · 11/01/2023 13:07

Hoardasurass · 10/01/2023 06:55

At 17 his dd is still legally a child and he needs to pay for her.

You need to back off this is non of your business and you are not only risking his relationship with his dd but you are destroying any chance of a relationship with her yourself which will affect your relationship with your partner.
Why would you want to interfere with your partners relationship with his dd like this

Op ignore the nasty posts like this. As someone else said, stepmums get hated but that’s usually on a different board. Men get hated on all boards. This poster is just making shit up.

Original poster
Gillan3190 · 11/01/2023 16:34

No scotland . We can leave at the age if 16 . If its still the same as when I was at school.

OP posts:
Xenia · 11/01/2023 16:40

I think most people on here won't know Scottish law on this topic which is nothing like England and I believe though includes obligations even if you are not divorced, to support children up to age 25. In England my divorce court order (as I earn more than my ex husband) required me to pay all university costs for our 5 children and they all did at least 4 years and 4 of them did 5 years from age 18.

"In Scotland there is a legal obligation on parents to provide support to their adult children whether or not those parents are separated from each other.

An adult child (who has left secondary education and is aged under 25) can make a claim for financial support against one or both of their parents if he or she is "reasonably and appropriately undergoing instruction at an educational establishment, or training for employment or for a trade, profession or vocation"." brodies.com/insights/family-law/should-i-pay-financial-support-to-my-adult-child-living-in-scotland-and-if-so-how-much-and-for-how-long/

Original poster
Gillan3190 · 11/01/2023 16:41

Thank to everyone that as given me some useful information. Cant beleive some of the comments on here when all I was asking for was a bit of advice .
People jumping to conclusions when they have no idea of the situation . This is supposed to be a site for help and information.

OP posts:
hoppityscotch · 11/01/2023 16:43

Gillan3190 · 10/01/2023 09:38

For a start , I didn't say he doesn't want to provided for his daughter . If child maintenance payments stop he would be more than happy to provide money straight to his daughter. I deal with his child maintenance as he works full time and it's impossible to get through to them while working a full time job . Also I don't pay his child maintenance WE both do as we are a couple. I also am not trying to destroy the relationship with her. She has left school and thats when child maintenance payments stop . Not my rules ! I'm just trying to figure out how child maintenance find out about this as the mother will more than happily commit fraud to get every penny out of him.

I'm married - there's no way in hell I would pay my husband's child maintenance.

Ineverwannabelikeyou · 11/01/2023 16:49

Xenia · 11/01/2023 16:40

I think most people on here won't know Scottish law on this topic which is nothing like England and I believe though includes obligations even if you are not divorced, to support children up to age 25. In England my divorce court order (as I earn more than my ex husband) required me to pay all university costs for our 5 children and they all did at least 4 years and 4 of them did 5 years from age 18.

"In Scotland there is a legal obligation on parents to provide support to their adult children whether or not those parents are separated from each other.

An adult child (who has left secondary education and is aged under 25) can make a claim for financial support against one or both of their parents if he or she is "reasonably and appropriately undergoing instruction at an educational establishment, or training for employment or for a trade, profession or vocation"." brodies.com/insights/family-law/should-i-pay-financial-support-to-my-adult-child-living-in-scotland-and-if-so-how-much-and-for-how-long/

But this isn't child maintenance is it Xenia? This is obviously something else entirely.

Op has asked directly about maintenance paid through the CMS.

I would report it to the DWP, op. We had the same situation sort of, ex claiming for a child who lived with us. It's hard and CMS don't listen.

Original poster
Gillan3190 · 11/01/2023 16:51

@hoppityscotch again if you read my comments properly I didn't say I pay his child maintenance. We pay it as all our money is in the one account . Who pays it is nothing to do with the question I have asked . I dont know how you think your comment is relevant???

OP posts:
hoppityscotch · 11/01/2023 16:53

Gillan3190 · 11/01/2023 16:51

@hoppityscotch again if you read my comments properly I didn't say I pay his child maintenance. We pay it as all our money is in the one account . Who pays it is nothing to do with the question I have asked . I dont know how you think your comment is relevant???

Because he needs to sort it out. Take an afternoon to phone the CMS if need be. I'm really surprised they talk to you unless you have power of attorney?

Original poster
Gillan3190 · 11/01/2023 16:55

@Ineverwannabelikeyou thank you . We've been in another situation with the mother before where she kicked the child out the house for 6 months and was still claiming child benefit and child maintenance and csa wouldn't help us. Was just looking for some advice . I will try a contact csa to keep them up to date but I doubt I'll get anywhere with them

OP posts: