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Formal complaint/action against a solicitor for preventing pregnant mother from attending PLO meeting. A case to answer or not?

27 replies

PLOquestion · 15/10/2022 13:33

Back in 2017 I posted here asking for legal (and practical) advice on how to proceed when I was expecting my second child after having my first removed at birth by social services. I will link that thread below so all of the facts are clear.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_matters/3089286-Pregnant-after-having-child-removed-at-birth

The advice I received was such a help and MN was instrumental in getting me through an incredibly stressful time which I'm forever grateful for.

That second baby is now almost 5 and is the centre of my world. He was diagnosed with autism just before his third birthday so things haven't been plain sailing but I've enjoyed every second of being his mum. In 2019 we also welcomed his sister, our little girl, into the family.

Recently I have been doing some work with an organisation consisting of social workers, birth parents and adopters. I'm going to be doing some filming in November at their invitation which will be shared with prospective adopters, the aim is to try and break the stigma associated with birth parents. All positive stuff.

I have received alot of feedback on my story which supports what my second borns pre-birth social worker concluded - that I was badly let down during proceedings with my first - particularly by the solicitor who was supposed to be looking after my best interests and fighting for reunification.

I'm now in a place where I feel I'm strong enough to open up a discourse about the failings in my case and wondered whether you think there would be a case to answer?

I feel that her work was inadequate at best and I dare say she was wholly incompetent.

She failed to inform me about alternative options for baby being discharged from hospital. No mother and baby unit placement was ever mentioned (until much later when researching I came across such a thing myself)

At no point did she object to the local authorities recommendation to place baby into foster care dispite me being adamant that I didn't want to give baby up.

She prevented me from attending the PLO meeting when I was 36 weeks pregnant. I was asked, by her, to wait in the town hall waiting room and she would come and get me when they were ready to begin on the second floor. She didn't. She attended on my behalf, without my permission, and didn't oppose the local authorities proposal to remove baby at birth.

She failed to highlight the inadequacy of my parenting assessment which consisted of 90 minutes in a children's centre as opposed to the comprehensive parenting assessments that the court requires.

She made (I feel intentional) damaging statements in the courthouse within earshot of the acting social worker and her representative, such as telling me to be careful arriving to court alongside babies dad. I hadn't. The court usher had to intervene and say that's untrue as she herself saw me arrive alone in a taxi.

There's lots more but that is the general tone of my complaint.

What I want from this is not financial recompense (and most definitely not to disrupt the adoption in any way shape or form - he is happy where he is and I'm satisfied it's in his best interests to remain with his adopters) this is about closure for me and my need to have what happened to me recognised as an injustice.

Thanks for reading. Any advice welcome.

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SunsetandCupcakes · 15/10/2022 13:39

I have only read this post but I think you should raise it, for you, for your son when he grows up, and for future parents in your situation.
Very different but when my son died I brought a case against a group, I knew it wouldn't change anything, and I wasn't looking for anything financial I just wanted a kind of closure and to prevent a reoccurrence. It was very hard to do but I am very pleased I did it.

I'm sorry to hear of all you went through and glad you are at a place where you feel strong enough to deal with what happened.

PLOquestion · 15/10/2022 14:09

SunsetandCupcakes · 15/10/2022 13:39

I have only read this post but I think you should raise it, for you, for your son when he grows up, and for future parents in your situation.
Very different but when my son died I brought a case against a group, I knew it wouldn't change anything, and I wasn't looking for anything financial I just wanted a kind of closure and to prevent a reoccurrence. It was very hard to do but I am very pleased I did it.

I'm sorry to hear of all you went through and glad you are at a place where you feel strong enough to deal with what happened.

Thank you for your kind comments, I really appreciate them.

The way you have written about wanting closure whilst realising that nothing could be changed is exactly how I feel.

I'm concerned that throughout the whole shambles of a case I have been completely misrepresented and the picture the adoptive parents have of me isn't reflective of the person I am. It appears that they weren't even told about the domestic abuse dispite that being the reason SS were involved to begin with.

Birth father died last year and when our son asked his parents why me and birth father had split up they didn't know how to answer him because didn't know (I was living in a refuge when he was placed with them)

I'm truly sorry for the loss of your son and cant imagine what you had to go through. 🌺

Was it a long process, taking a case against the group? Did it set you back in your healing when it was ongoing?

I'm not sure where I would begin with something like this and want to tread carefully so as not to upset or worry the adoptive family. The last thing I want to do is unsettle anybody but feel it's imperative I try to do something with this. If only to potentially stop the same negligence happening to somebody else.

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ml3jp · 15/10/2022 14:26

I just want to say you sound amazing. Despite being completely let down and unsupported you’ve not responded with even a hint of bitterness. Incredible. And you sound like a fantastic mother too x ps/ def raise it. That solicitor isn’t fit to be representing in care proceedings

picklemewalnuts · 15/10/2022 14:30

Wow. I'm so sorry for what you have been through.

It's a very complicated situation- one you know far more about than I.

I'd suggest working up a detailed plan of what you want to do. Include your aims, what information you have and what will need to be gathered. What steps you'll take and in what order.

Consider including a statement about what you want the adopting parents to know, and why- ie to better support your son when he asks about birth family.

When you have done that, it will be a Hugely useful guide to your work that can be modified during the process. It will also help you work out whether you are ready to address it and indeed whether you still want to.

You may find a letter to the adopters/your son would feel like enough, in the end.

SunsetandCupcakes · 15/10/2022 14:39

Was it a long process, taking a case against the group? Did it set you back in your healing when it was ongoing?

Yes, and yes and no. It took 18 months and a further 12 months for the recommendations to be actioned and for me to see that, albeit in a small way, the next parent that goes through what I did won't have the situation compounded by other agencies procedures/inability.

Yes it did set back my healing initially, going back over, having to show or prove or highlight what happened, but like you nothing will ever heal the damage completely. I think if I hadn't done it it would feel like a scab that needed to be removed, whereas now I just have scar tissue if that makes sense. It still hurts, it is still there but I'm living with.

Whilst it may hurt the adoptive family now, your son finding this out later will also hurt. I think your reassurance that you want what is best for him, and you do not want to disrupt the adoption should be made clear. They might just find having answers makes it easier.

I was able to start my complaint through a liason officer, I'm sorry I don't know where you would begin, possibly with a FOI request on the notes they hold about you?

PLOquestion · 15/10/2022 14:57

Thank you so much for the supportive comments and advice, and for hearing me. I really appreciate it.

I have written the outline of my complaint and sent it to one of the senior partners at the firm, I also sent it to the legal ombudsman before reading that they wouldn't be able to intervene until an official complaint was filed through the firms standard procedure.

So it has began. Gosh. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I have been silent for so long.

In my last letterbox contact response to the adopters letter (they always write me a letter of their own) I've explained a little about the domestic abuse and what lead to social services involvement, so they have more information now and can fill in the blanks for our son later on when he wants to probe a bit further.

Depending on where this goes I will absolutely make clear to them that this isn't about contesting the adoption or anything of that nature, it's purely between me and the solicitors firm. They may not need to know about it at all really.

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pinkunicorns54 · 15/10/2022 14:59

I feel so sad to read this (and your previous thread). What I can't wrap my head around is why they told you, you had to stay in the area instead of moving to an area where you could have some safe support.
I'm so sorry you went through this.

But yes, I think you should complain about your solicitor - I'm also unsure as to why mother and baby placements weren't suggested by the SW'ers and instead by the judge...!

PLOquestion · 15/10/2022 15:04

pinkunicorns54 · 15/10/2022 14:59

I feel so sad to read this (and your previous thread). What I can't wrap my head around is why they told you, you had to stay in the area instead of moving to an area where you could have some safe support.
I'm so sorry you went through this.

But yes, I think you should complain about your solicitor - I'm also unsure as to why mother and baby placements weren't suggested by the SW'ers and instead by the judge...!

I think that was an error of judgement on that social workers part. An enormous one that cost me greatly. I think (hope!) that she felt she was giving me sound advice at the time, but who knows what her reasoning was.

At the time we had that conversation it was just a matter of weeks after I was told there's nothing to suggest they would be looking at removal.

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PLOquestion · 15/10/2022 15:08

The social workers had no intention of looking at anything other than adoption unfortunately, the pre birth assessment was I feel nothing but a box ticking exercise. I don't feel as though me and baby were viewed as a new case, moreso just another loose end to tie up after my ex partners first child (not my own) went for adoption.

I never stood a chance really.

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Pixiedust1234 · 15/10/2022 15:29

There are many things that your solicitor did that could be vaguely excused because it wasn't their specialist area (I know, I know, they should have passed, totally agree with you) but the part that stood out for me was this:

"She prevented me from attending the PLO meeting when I was 36 weeks pregnant. I was asked, by her, to wait in the town hall waiting room and she would come and get me when they were ready to begin on the second floor. She didn't. She attended on my behalf, without my permission, and didn't oppose the local authorities proposal to remove baby at birth."

PLOquestion · 15/10/2022 15:35

Pixiedust1234 · 15/10/2022 15:29

There are many things that your solicitor did that could be vaguely excused because it wasn't their specialist area (I know, I know, they should have passed, totally agree with you) but the part that stood out for me was this:

"She prevented me from attending the PLO meeting when I was 36 weeks pregnant. I was asked, by her, to wait in the town hall waiting room and she would come and get me when they were ready to begin on the second floor. She didn't. She attended on my behalf, without my permission, and didn't oppose the local authorities proposal to remove baby at birth."

Absolutely.

She may be able to attempt to excuse the other things but not that, that was pure negligence.

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Pixiedust1234 · 15/10/2022 15:43

I'm so sorry! I took all emotion out of your posts so i could give a clear answer and totally forgot to put any back in Blush

I'm glad you are feeling in a stronger place and yes, you have been severely let down Flowers

picklemewalnuts · 15/10/2022 18:32

I've fostered 2 babies straight from hospital. The amount of investigation into their capacity to parent, psych evaluations etc was massive.

With baby 1, I was very concerned about the chance of baby being returned to the parents, and concerned about the parents' hopes being unreasonably raised.
Baby 2, same family, the whole process was repeated again, delaying the first baby's move to a permanent family.

In that case, it was very clear that they simply did not have the capability to parent the babies, even with support, yet still we went through the whole process again. As is right (slightly grudging admission from me, there)

It was very wrong that you were not given that opportunity.

Well done on turning your situation around. You must be a very strong and resilient woman to have done so.

PLOquestion · 15/10/2022 18:45

That reminds me of another issue I raised during proceedings. The L.A had submitted to the court that I had, and I quote, deeply entrenched mental health problems.

That was completely fabricated and no psychological assessment was ever done on me, at any time, in order for them to reach that conclusion.

I highlighted that and said that if they were going to make those claims then they are required to back them up. I asked the L.A for a psychological assessment to be done and they refused.

The irony is I do have confirmed mental health problems now (PTSD) largely as a result of all of this.

The foster carer was wonderful. She disagreed with the SW and wanted me to go and stay with her and baby. Lovely woman.

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picklemewalnuts · 15/10/2022 20:27

You were clearly let down catastrophically. I hope all goes well in your next steps.

BornBlonde · 16/10/2022 23:24

I remember your threads OP. No idea what to advise. Perhaps get counselling to help you decide?

PLOquestion · 17/10/2022 08:00

I'm in counselling at the moment which I think has definitely spurred me on to make the complaint. I have an appointment with her this week so I will definitely bring this up and go into it some more.

I'm a bit apprehensive about whatever response I will receive from the solicitors firm as from experience they are awful but I'll keep my fingers crossed that they'll atleast listen.

I'm not sure if the same woman I had is even there any more, she must be in her late 60's now.

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PLOquestion · 18/10/2022 18:48

No response from the solicitors firm as of yet but the legal ombudsman has got back to me to say that they'd be unable to look into it as it happened more than 6 years ago.

So is that it then? Nothing anybody can do?

I don't expect the firm itself will have any desire to do anything about it.

I'm gutted. It took so much for me to send those emails.

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picklemewalnuts · 18/10/2022 21:38

That must be very disappointing.
It's possible the law firm will still want to know more, in order to learn from,past mistakes. Perhaps being outside the ombudsman period will make that easier for them- they need to be so defensive.

Perhaps the process you are going through will be cathartic even if it were to be ultimately unsuccessful, in terms of legal come back. Flowers

PLOquestion · 18/10/2022 22:55

picklemewalnuts · 18/10/2022 21:38

That must be very disappointing.
It's possible the law firm will still want to know more, in order to learn from,past mistakes. Perhaps being outside the ombudsman period will make that easier for them- they need to be so defensive.

Perhaps the process you are going through will be cathartic even if it were to be ultimately unsuccessful, in terms of legal come back. Flowers

Very disappointing indeed. I wasn't aware there would be a statute of limitation for things like this and don't feel that there should be, especially as it was only last/this year that the government had to issue an apology to the victims of forced adoptions in the 50's - 70's.

There needs to be the option to look into things like this without the time constraints as few young mothers the age that I was at the time would have the strength and know how to go through all of this so soon after the initial trauma. It has taken 9 years for me to feel remotely able.

I wrote in my complaint that I'm prepared to escalate it to the legal ombudsman if I don't receive a satisfactory response, so I probably look quite silly now.

I checked the site and she's still working for the firm, probably doing untold damage to more people 🙁

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picklemewalnuts · 21/10/2022 09:49

@PLOquestion someone I know is in a bad situation with SS at the moment. Would you be able to mention the reputable charities/campaigns you know that work for families? She desperately needs advice. She has left an abusive man, and is now being accused of failing to leave him fast enough.
She's totally scuppered by the way the system is being used against her.

Quitelikeit · 23/10/2022 23:00

Op

imo and it is only my opinion I think this solicitor didn’t want you to have your child. hence she wasn’t very helpful.

ive just read your other thread and the ex sounds absolutely terrifying. I can see why everyone was very worried.

you can absolutely move local authorities the SWs have no say in that at all! They would need to make sure they had told the new LA you had moved there though.

however going by your previous thread it seems like this person might have followed you there.

sorry that this happened to you but I’m glad you have found some happiness now.

PLOquestion · 24/10/2022 23:32

Pickle, Annie at SurvivingSafeguarding is brilliant. I definitely recommend her website/blog. There may well be a way of contacting her directly if you look on her site. She has navigated the child protection system multiple times and now gives training to social workers. She's amazing.

Quitelikeit - yes that's how I felt too, she didn't want me to have my baby so actively worked against me. I don't tend to say that out loud, so to speak, as it risks me sounding like a conspiracy theorist.

It's easy for me now to look back and think how easy it would have been to go against the SW's advice and just bugger off to the other side of the country but at the time I truly didn't feel as though I held any cards. I was just a kid listening to those I believed knew best.

The ex was a nasty piece of work yes. He was absolutely a risk to the pair of us. I wouldn't want to have a child around him which is why when I realised the extent of what he was like as a person I wanted out and wanted to start a new with my baby alone.

So after a crap response from the ombudsman, solicitors office and now the council after I attempted to launch a complaint against them (not solely about my birth sons case but some pretty epic fuck ups they made for me when I was a child myself) I've been rebuffed at every turn.

The solicitors firm say they no longer have my files as it was more than 7 years ago and the council have said they can't investigate any complaints against them for things that have happened more than 12 months ago.

So basically, there is no recourse when you've been failed by the services unless you act immediately which is diabolical to expect of 1) a child (in my case years prior) and 2) somebody who has just endured a massive trauma - my later experience with them with my baby.

I have contacted the local MP because this all stinks.

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PLOquestion · 24/10/2022 23:50

This is the local authority responsible who have, for as long as I've known them, made mess after mess of people's lives.

They failed me as a child and allowed CSE to continue happening to dozens of young girls, then weaponised it against them later.

Then when I was living in the women's refuge I was sharing a flat with a woman/mum who had SS involvement due to drug abuse. She continued to use class A drugs throughout her pregnancy, domestic abuse, police arrests and still got to keep her baby (and older child)

The whole system is backwards and upside down there's no consistency or duty of care to anybody, parent or child.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/grimsby-news/children-services-failed-protect-inspection-2850763.amp

www.google.com/amp/s/www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/grimsby-news/childrens-services-still-under-pressure-4705796.amp

www.google.com/amp/s/www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/scathing-report-childrens-services-leads-6264463.amp

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PLOquestion · 24/10/2022 23:58

Also.. the social worker I had to begin with, her then-partner (later husband) was friends with a bloody drug dealer who sold drugs to teenagers. I knew that because it's a very small town and i vaguely knew him / did know people who got drugs from him.

I didn't say anything at the time as I didn't want that to be twisted into accusations that I took the kind of drugs he sold, I didn't and never have.

But that's the type of person entrusted with the welfare of vulnerable people and children. Somebody with drug dealing friends/acquaintances. The mind boggles.

Sorry, rant over. I just had to get it out somewhere after the crap response from the council. I'm so annoyed.

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