Can the house be sold from under us?!

[Scruffybear]

Hi all reposting here as lovely mn’ers on separation thread suggested to…..
I’m embarrassingly completely lacking in financial and divorce related savvy and need help. Allegation was made against my husband by one of our children and ss became involved. Children are adopted and recognised as having severe trauma and SEN. Husband is using situation to walk away having wanted to I think for many years but didn’t want to be the bad guy. Now he has an excuse. He has insisted house needs to go on the market as no other option. Keeps saying this in front of kids. I had hoped for sake of kids we would find a way to avoid this massive stress for them but I think he feels if he can’t live here no one can. Currently all living together but he is not parenting, also a cause of stress, kids are confused.

i have debt of more than £10k, I doubt there will be more than £100k equity in the house which leaves us with £50k each. I only have a small part time job so couldn’t take over the mortgage as I guess I wouldn’t be allowed even if family helped with payments. Both kids are SEN meaning lots of therapy needed during the week and constant relentless supervision. So I work at the weekend which is now impossible as I can’t leave kids with him and need others to babysit which isn’t easy for kids like mine, plus how would I pay them!? Currently forced into taking unpaid leave.
For added complexity husband has his own business which I am also a director of, so my salary (basically all spent on repaying debt and kids needs) comes from that source.

it feels like such an impossible mess, even my phone is a company phone. I have a legal line to speak to but they only EVER call me back when I have the kids as they won’t specify a time and I’ve as yet been unable to chat it all through.

can anyone help with experience of a similar situation. Husband keeps saying that involving lawyers will ‘use all our money’ and I’ve no desire to be acrimonious but I would do whatever I could to avoid uprooting the kids. So I know I need them involved but at the moment it’s taking all my time and energy to keep things stable for the children and the stress is just piling up as I know there must be loads i need to be doing. Please help if you can

Yea

You must see a solicitor. Your husband is right that they cost money but that price you pay could be the difference between you being ripped off or not. You can ask about a pay plan and ask if they would be paid when financial situation is finalised. You need to remember to take into account pensions. As far as I am aware everything goes in the pot the debts and incomes. A starting point is always 50/50 but you could end up with more. Please please get legal advice. Lots of men say things like they don't want the rest of the family to suffer financially but I have never known one bloke not turn back on that when faced with the figures

You say you are a director of the company, are you an active director or is it just in name only? If you are paid a salary is it by way of dividends?
I was in this position with my ex, paid me a salary but basically but it was all for tax efficiency purposes.
We did not have any employees, so basically he was the business and I was ordered to sign my share of the business back.
Do you have access to the business bank accounts?

Social services absolutely do not apply to courts to get PR removed, the ONLY way PR is removed from parents is when children are legally adopted

They might, if they felt the children were at significant risk of harm and that the OP was not in a position to protect them, consider starting care proceedings but that may not necessarily result in separation, the threshold for separation is very very high and with the context given by OP I would suggest that is not met

Stop scaremongering

Seems someone couldn’t help but pop up to advices thar this was domestic abuse and to call the police. Does that sound like a good idea when this man is leaving due to false allegations?

Get a grip: I really hate this instantly call domestic abuse culture we live in. This family needs help not more false allegations.

@bellac11 they total can remove pr though the court they did it to me when I was a child it is not common but it can and does happen if they believe these children are at risk and he is the only one not cooperating, yes it takes time but they still can

I SAID IF he is continuing to be abusive and reading ops posts it doesn't look like a healthy environment for the children

We don't know that they are false allegations the only people who know the truth are not on this thread as op wasn't home and I'm assuming you were not there

No 'they' cant, any removal of PR is ONLY effected via an adoption order if a child is adopted.

If someone else along the line has obtained PR for a child via another order that order might be discharged in favour of something else but from a birth parent, without the child being adopted, no it cant.

When children come into care, if the LA obtains interim care orders or later care order, we continue to share PR with the birth parent. The parent never loses this unless the child is adopted through an adoption order